How Did You Spend Mother’s Day?

Larada Horner-Miller

2 years ago

How did you spend Mother’s Day today? With your mom? Your grandma? With your children? With your grandchildren? Alone, missing those gone on before you?

How did I spend Mother’s Day? I had a quiet day, starting with our Sunday tradition: blueberry pancakes and cribbage. Then I had a delightful re-connection with a square dance friend who I haven’t seen in years. After we connected, we called another mutual square dance friend who has had some heart issues and left her a “Happy Mother’s Day” greeting. Then, it was on to church and back home.

All day, my mom has hovered closely over me. Today, I miss her more than normal—maybe because I have been featuring the book I wrote about my loss of her, A Time to Grow Up: A Daughter’s Grief (and Growth) Memoir, by giving away e-book copies on Amazon for the last five days.

Also, on Friday, I read a couple of the poems from that book as leader of my meditation group. It just felt right to share them to honor her this Mother’s Day season.

So, to continue with that thought-process, here are the two poems I shared on Friday.

After Mom died on March 23, 2013, whenever, I went home to Branson, Colorado, I would travel to Trinidad, get lunch and go out the cemetery and have lunch with Dad and Mom. Mom taught me this idea after Dad died, and it helped so much. I shed lots of tears and talked and talked.

THE MOTHER-DAUGHTER CHAIN

October 14, 2013

Lunch with Dad and Mom

I wanted you to stay 
with me! 
Part of you wanted to stay, too! 

My grandma, your mother, beckoned you 
to come! 
Part of you wanted to go! 

It was a sacred, otherworldly tug-of-war! 

I witnessed your battle
that Wednesday night at 
the skilled nursing facility 

I tried to sleep on the floor,
but your verbal turmoil kept me 
awake all night! 

Ten days before your death 
you wrestled with the
 dilemma: 

Go to your mom, my grandmother 
or 
stay with your daughter, me! 

Grandma won; 
I lost! 

But someday 
you will win. 
You will tug on 
my heart
pulling me home 
to be with you! 

I have no daughter
for you to battle with 
on that day. 

The Mother-Daughter connection runs 
deep 
timeless 
beyond reality. 

Daughter-Mother connection: 
as real as it gets.

Almost a year had passed from Mom’s death, and I relief by going to Branson and remembering Mom there in her house and celebrating our memories.

SNUGGLE INTO THE MEMORIES

March 20, 2014

I lost Mom,
almost one year ago! 

Today I sit in her house 
surrounded by her
and
snuggle into the memories! 

No longer fighting the loss, 
not running away
from the memories! 

Not cringing at
the empty space 
in my heart. 

But I snuggle into the memories, 
lay my head on her shoulder 
like so many times before, 
breathe in her body fragrance
like so many times before,
laugh with her—her blue eyes dancing 
like so many times before,
dance with her around the living room, 
trying to recapture Dad's special step 
like so many times before. 

Memories comfort me 
today! 
Hundreds of precious moments 
shared. 

I lean into them. 

They brush my cheek 
kiss my brow 
caress my shoulder 
live deep in my heart! 

I can't bring her back! 
I tried, 
and it doesn't work! 
I can't go with her, 
not yet! 

So today
I snuggle into the memories. 
I speak her name.
I speak her joy.
I speak her laughter.
I speak her fears.
I speak her faith. 

I speak Mom!

Finally,

how does reading these poems again help me today on Mother’s Day, 2024? Any time I share about Mom helps me. It’s been eleven years. I still miss her terribly, but my familiar words about her continue to soothe my wounded heart!

So enjoy!

I have the e-book available on a Mother’s Day special for FREE on Amazon. TODAY’S THE LAST DAY FOR A FREE DOWNLOAD!