Sample, sample, sample! Here’s another chapter of my new book, Hair on Fire: A Heartwarming & Humorous Christmas Memoir.
Chapter 8: What Are Your Christmas Traditions?
In my country childhood, we had many Christmas traditions: the fun and adventure of cutting down a tree from our ranch, hilarious Christmas programs at the church and school, and fun-filled Christmas caroling around our small town. Our family dominated this holiday’s focus.
My dad’s parents lived just across town, so most of my childhood Christmas Eves were spent at their house.
Christmas at the Horners’
It was a big affair, especially when Granddad got all sixteen grandchildren together. That meant a holiday house full.
Each year, my Christmas outfit was always special. One year a white dress with a gathered skirt, trimmed in red, made by Mom.
Grandma, decked out in her festive apron, worried over the meal. She made the best mashed potatoes, smothered in butter. Granddad’s job came after dinner.
The table was set on the porch so we could all fit, a long line of smiles and laughter.
For those of us who knew the tradition, anticipation set in. We tried to hurry the process, with no success.
Finally, after a leisurely cup of coffee and a cigarette, Granddad would disappear to the front door.
His shout rang through the whole house! It had begun.
“I just saw Santa Claus fly over. Come quick.”
We’d race to the front door, and he would race to the back door.
“No, no, he’s out here now. Come this way.”
We’d race to the back door. This would go on for what seemed like eternity, and I never did see Santa, a reindeer, or his sleigh. I was always a second too late! But this also meant that it was time to open our gifts that had mysteriously spilled out from under the Christmas tree.
A traditional Christmas with the Horners meant cousins, aunts and uncles, sometimes great aunts from Tulsa, Oklahoma, good food, lots of laughter, and traditions that filled my heart with joy and family connection!
Larada Horner-Miller, This Tumbleweed Landed (2014): 67-68.
What was your favorite Christmas tradition?
Sample and savor this precious memory of mine! What was a special childhood tradition you enjoyed at Christmas? Tell me about it!
Beautiful flowers and laughter! Last Saturday, July 8, 2023, we held our second annual Garden Party. We played garden and flower music while friends toured Lin’s beautiful creation. Raves abounded for Lin’s hard work. What a glorious day! And the weather cooperated—showers in the morning and a partly cloudy afternoon! Perfect!
This all started after the pandemic, and some friends wanted to come and see Lin’s garden. His pictures on Facebook piqued their curiosity because they saw how he had enlarged it over the pandemic. In reality, he expanded it 2/3 during this time of staying home, adding a pond and lots of decorative rock to landscape extensive areas to help control weeds. So, we had our first garden party last year, and it turned out fantastic.
Preparation for 2023 Garden Party
Right after last year’s success, we didn’t hesitate. “Let’s repeat it.” This year, we started planning early. A lot of Lin’s work in the garden in the spring and early summer focused on a completion date before the “Garden Party.” At first, we had two dates picked: June 17 or July 8. July 8 won because Lin wanted more time to prepare things, and he wanted more flowers blooming than last year. Last year, we had it on July 23 and several had already bloomed.
Lin worked hard from early spring until the day before the event, finishing a path around the back of the garden the Thursday before the big day.
Our preparation for our refreshments included cutting back on the number of watermelon we bought. Last year, we bought six and ended up giving whole watermelons away at the end. This year three sufficed. I also baked three batches of brownies. For drinks, we had flavored Pellegrino drinks and ice-cold water and lemonade.
Last year, a friend said, “You’ve got to play Ricky Nelson’s ‘Garden Party’,” so I looped it on my iPad and played it all afternoon. No one complained. For this year, I had been googling other garden and flower songs. Saturday morning, Lin asked me to add six or seven to “Garden Party,” so I did. What an eclectic list I came up with:
Garden/Flower Playlist
“Garden Party” – Ricky Nelson
“I Never Promised You a Rose Garden” – Lynn Anderson
“English Country Garden” – Jimmie Rodgers
“You Don’t Bring Me Flowers” – Neil Diamond
“Octopus Garden” – The Beatles
“Edelweiss” – Julie Andrews & Cast from Sound of Music
“In the Garden” – Elvis Presley
“The Flowers Will Never Die” – Elton John
When our party ended, we had about thirty-five garden lovers come by. What a treat seeing people wandering around Lin’s beautiful creation, oohing and aahing. When time allowed, many people received personal tours with Lin explaining the design and naming flowers. Then, after touring, they gathered in the shade for refreshments and visiting. We had people from different clubs we belong to and work friends of mine. So, many visitors didn’t know each other, but their garden interests brought them together.
Before the event, I wrote several haikus, so I shared a hard copy with our visitors.
LARADA’S HAIKU ABOUT LIN’S GARDEN
Could this be heaven?
Birds, chirping, flowers blooming.
What could be better?
Red, pink, purple, green,
Yellow, and peach flowers bloom!
I could dance for joy!
The world the gardener makes
has plants I have never known.
Lin creates magic!
Lin’s garden is an
oasis to rest my soul!
His flowers bathe me!
Lin has created
a sanctuary for us.
Welcome, come join us!
My words above don’t show the splendor of Lin’s garden enough for me, so here’s a video and a collage of pictures. Enjoy!
Here’s the video tour of Lin’s garden:
Lin’s Flower Beds
SomeLin’s Gorgeous Individual Flowers
Finally,
I’m one lucky lady to wake up in the morning and see this paradise! Most summer mornings, I walk around with my cat and marvel at all the beautiful flowers. I know how much work Lin puts into it! Thank you Lin!
Do you have a garden? Are you married to a gardener?
Stop! This week, on June 27, 2023, I celebrated my 70th birthday, and I have interrupted my Scotland trip-focus with a celebration of me!
A Poem I Wrote About My Birth
In my book, This Tumbleweed Landed, I wrote a poem about my birth story. I don’t know about you, but I heard this story often, and it naturally became a poem. Key phrases throughout the poem I heard from my parents frequently and swelled with pride. The repeating of my birth story cemented in my soul and spirit how much my parents wanted and celebrated me. Enjoy!
Larada Reading Her Poem, “I Was Born Dancing”
A Ring to Celebrate My Heritage and Me
My granddad’s brandMy dad’s brand
Last week, I went to Branson, Colorado to visit our family ranch, my brother and friends. On Tuesday, my brother walked into my house, moved to the breakfast bar and handed me a small unwrapped box, saying, “This is your birthday present from me and my kids.” That’s the way he does his gifts—no wrapping, but a lot of thought and love put into the gift.
I gasped—it was a ring with reversible stones. On one side was my dad’s brand and on the other was my granddad’s brand! But in my fuzzy stupor from the pain pills I’m on, I thought it was a slide for a necklace.
Fast forward to Thursday, we went to the Walmart in Trinidad and then had lunch to celebrate my upcoming birthday. While in Walmart I looked at silver necklaces for the slide.
After shopping, I said to my brother while eating, “I looked at necklaces for the slide you all gave me at Walmart, but I found nothing. I’ll go to a jewelry store in Albuquerque and buy one.”
Not looking at me, he stated, “It’s a ring, not a slide. Remember, I asked you if you wanted to try it on when I gave it to you!”
Again, I gasped! I apologized and asked him about how crazy I must have seemed to him!
More to This Ring Story!
How foolish am I! In March, my brother and I had looked at Calvin Begay’s jewelry in Trinidad, and he had reversible rings like this. I have been a Calvin Begay fan for years! I have one of his rings, and we just finished buying three beautiful expensive pieces from Calvin! It all made sense now.
He added, “It is from me and my three kids. They helped pay for it!”
Quickly, I texted my nephew and two nieces and apologized for the delay in my thanking them and told them the story. They got a big laugh out of it, and Cheryl added, “Lol! Now it will always make you smile for sure!”
Seventy, yes, but this brain fog came from the pain medicine, I know. So, I went to my house in Branson and put the gorgeous ring on and marveled at the fit—like Calvin Begay made for me! LOL! He did!
My brother and niece had texted me early in June with a bet between them on whether her ring finger was bigger or smaller than mine. I thought nothing about it! When I texted my apology, she added, “The story about our ring size being the same was a fake!”
My Delightful Day
After returning home to Tijeras on Monday, I woke up to my husband, Lin, singing happy birthday to me. Then he presented me with a beautiful bouquet, card and a generous gift to help finance my part of our trip to Germany in September.
I had a delightful morning. I led a meditation group on Facebook Live I love and shared my poem about my birth and a Mary Oliver poem about being 70.
Self-Portrait
I wish I was twenty and in love with live
And still full of beans.
Onward, old legs!
There are the long, pale dunes; on the other side
The roses are blooming and finding their labor
No adversity to the spirit.
Upward, old legs! There are the roses, and there is the sea.
Shining like a song, like a body
I want to touch
Though I’m not twenty
and won’t be again but ah! seventy. And still
In love with life. And still
Full of beans.
Mary Oliver, Devotions: The Selected Poems of Mary Oliver, (2017): 117.
Then I attended a weekly book coaching session on Zoom. Afterwards, Lin took me out to lunch and we had delicious Mexican food in Cedar Crest at Mariachi’s. After lunch, we went next door to the Paris Bakery, and he bought French pastries for dessert.
When we got home, we ate those delicacies, watched a TV show, and I fell asleep—a deep relaxed sleep like I haven’t in a long time.
A Surprise Square Dance Party
Lin had warned me a couple time not to look in the Tahoe—I figured it was more birthday stuff. He also told me he had a hearing aid appointment at 4:30 PM, so we’d have to drive separately to the square dance that night in Albuquerque.
He left while I was sleeping and I slept for over two hours, forcing myself to wake up and get something to eat before the dance.
When I got to the hall about 6:50 PM, Lin met me at the door and I knew something was up. Then I saw a “Happy Birthday” banner over the door. He guided me through the door, and the people said, “Surprise! Happy Birthday!”
Shocked with my mouth open, I realized what this was—a surprise square dance party for me! I received hug after hug and lots of well wishes.
Lin’s smile and twinkling eyes made me laugh—he was proud of himself for getting me—for surprising me! I couldn’t stop smiling.
Purple for MomPurple for our wedding
Lin’s color selection for the tables had sweet, poignant reasons—purple for my mom (her favorite color) and purple for our wedding.
He guided me to the food table to show me a beautiful Pastian’s bakery cake. It had on it, “Happy Birthday Larada, Greg and Lynn.” Greg and Lynn Tillery—a square dance caller in Albuquerque and his wife also turned 70 this year! Lin explained he had invited them to, but he had to tell Greg about the surprise. But Lynn didn’t know.
When they arrived and received greetings from the group, Lynn said, “It’s not my birthday!” So my Lin explained it to her about the surprise for her.
But the surprises weren’t over for me! Someone tapped me on the shoulder and it was Bob Osse, Lin’s best friend, from Arizona. He had his wife on FaceTime to share her greetings. She wanted to join us but had a family tragedy during the week and was attending to that.
Gordon, Gloria, Larada, Lin and Sandra – Friends from Utah!
Then dear friends Gloria Schwab and Sandra and Gordon from Utah came in. On their way home from the National Square Dance Convention, they contacted Jerry Gilbreath about a Tuesday night dance. He told them about the surprise party! Whew!
During a break between square dance tips, Jerry sang the George Strait song Lin had played to me at our wedding, “I Cross My Heart.” So we got to do a little two-stepping!
Here’s a funny part—I handle contracts for dances at the dance hall. Jerry usually calls on the first and third Tuesdays, but about a month ago he called and asked if he could add a dance on the last Tuesday, June 27, my birthday. Because it was open, I said yes and thought, “Yahoo! We will get to square dance on my birthday!” Little did I know. . .
So, let’s stop here. I’d like to end with some haikus I wrote on my 70th birthday and the wisdom.
Seventy is here.
Yesterday sixty-nine, so?
Does one day change me?
Did I change in my
sleep? A decade older now.
I’m still Larada.
How should I act now?
Does seventy deem me old?
The same and hell, no!
I can’t hold on to
My youth, but I can stay young!
It’s my choice, so YES!
So stop! I will get back to the end of our trip to Scotland next week, but I couldn’t pass this celebration up!
How do you see someone at seventy? Is that old? Do you have a birthday story? Share it with me!
Bless you, Moms everywhere! This day slows downs, steps aside from the rush and the hurry, and celebrates moms everywhere! You are the backbone of our worlds! I’ve never been a mom, but I marvel at how you do it all: the laundry, the meals, the housecleaning and the job! It’s beyond my comprehension!
So, I want to salute my dear mom once more! I never tire of writing about her. I remember her perky personality and giggles that often caused me to giggle. Then a chain reaction of laughter filled the room. As I wrote this, I pondered her as a young mother, the mother I don’t remember!
How Did You Manage?
How did you manage?
My heart beat next to yours
For nine months.
I felt what you felt
Your loves and fears
Ate what you ate
Spicy food often
Loved what you loved
Dancing, dancing and Dad!
My world was you!
I always knew you wanted me!
Never a doubt!
You didn’t know I was a girl
The daughter that would complete
your family!
Quickly everything changed
For me!
My comfortable world
Of warm
Fluid
And you!
My birth came
You square danced the night
Before I was born!
Doing what you and Dad loved!
Did you feel any pain
When Dad twirled you that night?
Did your big belly bounce
To the beat of the music?
Is this why I love to dance?
Was my birth hard?
You never spoke of the pain
Only the glory!
You welcomed me into your family
A dad who cherished me,
A brother, thirteen months older than me
A baby himself
Three half-siblings who saw me
As the spoiled baby!
A young mother of twenty-five,
I wonder how you managed,
Me, a new born
My brother, so close to my age!
Really two babies!
How did you manage?
Did you have many sleepless nights?
Did you have arms aching from holding
Two sleeping babies?
Did the mounting heap of diapers
Seem to never end?
You never spoke of the responsibility,
Only the glory!
You managed
Like all mothers do!
You did what you had to do,
Washed diapers,
Filled bottles with milk.
You marveled at my
Small fingers wrapped
Around yours!
And you loved
Every minute!
Yes, you managed!
You managed well!
Writing poetry always puts me in another dimension in thinking about a familiar topic. I thought I had written everything there was to say. I have written several poems about mom, an entire book about losing her, yet here, in a fresh moment, these words came.
Finally,
Happy Mother’s Day, Moms—how do you manage it all? You just do it and love every minute.
Celebrate your mom today and remember her on this special day!
~Get your FREE Fifty minute audio recording of “Highlights of My Conversations with Flippo.” Learn how he started calling, how he recorded “The Auctioneer,” and a bonus: which caller did he sleep with? Click here for easy access!
All occasions are an occasion to write a poem—Christmas presents, graduation presents and even a wedding gift for my husband.
I wrote the following poem for my great nephew in 2019 when I couldn’t attend his graduation because I was sick. It comes to mind today because I just returned from Columbus, Georgia, where I attended his graduation from Army boot camp. Quite an occasion! As I watched him these past few days with his friends, I remembered the theme of this poem and needed to share it.
An Occasion Then
The Man I Choose to Be
May 24, 2019
Everyone comes to cross roads
In life
Those defining moments
Last night was one for you!
High school graduation!
Yes, a big and memorable one!
You’ve made the choice over
The last twelve years
To attend
To be present
To do the work
And last night you received the reward!
Family and friends surrounded you
To cheer
To shed a tear or two
To honor
You!
The last twelve years defined you.
I’ve seen your effect on people.
After ball games, swarmed
By admiring friends, old and young.
A smile graced your lips
Even if you lost.
Deep down inside a winner
No matter what!
The commitment to people
You have is admirable,
And people love you for it!
Your life hasn’t been easy.
For several years, I seldom saw you.
Your life unfolded
With jagged edges.
Then your move to Floydada
Truly a gift from God; we reconnected.
I treasure each moment we have spent together
On the ranch
Looking for mountain lions
At the house
Playing a rousing game of Pip
Those memories will last a lifetime.
Now the future looms ahead
Large and unimaginable!
Where to go? What to do?
Today and tomorrow,
You choose the man
You want to be!
It won’t come easily.
Temptations may lure you
To veer off course.
Your future is connected to your past.
Don’t let feelings rule your life.
Feelings come and go.
But they don’t have to control you.
Be hypervigilant with one especially –
Anger
Anger is just a feeling,
Like so many others,
Yet powerful and seductive.
Deal with it, face it,
Get it out
However you can to heal.
You have a guide,
A friend,
A man to emulate,
Jesus
And I know you know him personally.
I know you.
You’ll choose to be the man
God created you to be!
I remember a gentle loving
Young man who cared
For Aunt Willie in Branson
One Christmas!
She always asked about you!
A loving man in the makings!
Yes, you will face a crossroads or two ahead.
Which way?
Right or
Left?
My suggestion—
Always choose you and God!
An Occasion Now
As I watched my great nephew after the Blue ceremony on Thursday, this poem came to mind because once again he has chosen well! Other young men flocked to him—either a light touch on the shoulder acknowledging their connection or a full-fledged frontal attack of a bear hug! Once again, he connected deeply with his peers. During bootcamp, they gave him a leadership role, so he continues to embrace “the man he chooses to be” in a positive vein. I also saw two young men drive a distance to be with him on this momentous occasion who had been his roommate before enlisting! Deep connections! My poem identifies his characteristics that draw people to him.
Poetry record specific occasions, special times, and I didn’t have another one in me on this recuperation-from-a-travel day that could say any better what I said a short four years ago. I love the spirit of this poem and how it points to a man to emulate—Jesus! And that it’s my choice to become the man or woman God created me to be! I can’t blame circumstances or events for the way I turned out—the power lives in my choice!
Finally
Any occasion whispers to me to write a poem to commemorate it. As I ponder images and words, the message usually surprises me! That’s the joy of writing, especially poetry!
How do you commemorate special occasions in your life? Photos? Yes, I take lots of photos, too! Poems? Narratives? Think about sharing them with your loved ones as a special gift—the gift of words!
All available at my website: laradasbooks.com or Amazon.com
~My new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? WON the 2022 New Mexico-Arizona Book Awards in the Body, Mind & Spirit Category. Have you bought your copy yet?Visit my website: laradasbooks.com or at Amazon.
Grab a cup of coffee, a pen and look at a chapter in my newest book!
~For me, it’s Christmas all year long!Here’s a variety of Christmas greetings from Flippo & Neeca, featuring his song, “When It’s Christmas Time in Texas”: https://youtu.be/mpJCUGffU3A
Take Flippo with you on your phone and grab an apple to munch on!
~Have you bought a copy of Flippo’s biography yet? Believe it or not—it’s been three years. History and humor go hand-in-hand! Go here for your hardback or paperback: https://www.laradasbooks.com or at Amazon.
I have three aunts in my life who touched me deeply—Dad’s two sisters and Mom’s sister. Each one influenced me in different ways. Meet them here!
Aunt Helen
Aunt Helen and Uncle Gay
Aunt Helen, born October 18, 1919, one year after my dad had a similar close relationship with Dad I have with my brother. We are thirteen months apart.
My brother and Mom have often compared my drive and personality to Aunt Helen. She became a teacher after another career and worked hard to get her master’s degree during the summer for several years.
She lived near Spokane, WA, so I savored those summers because Uncle Gay and she came to Colorado with their twins. Her husband and she went to Alamosa to go to college and left the twins with my grandparents in the town we lived in. Uncle Gay and Aunt Helen visited on the weekends, staying with my grandparents. I idolized her, the way she dressed, her hairstyle and everything about her. A cigarette dangled from her lips often, which was stylish then. I loved having her here for those summer months.
Like her, I changed careers and became a teacher and then got my masters.
Many years passed, and I was fortunate enough at the end of her life to help her and her children. She celebrated holidays with us and my brother’s families, but she was so sick. I helped her and her sons during that time, and always felt it a privilege. Sadly, we lost Aunt Helen at 56 years old, way too young to breathing complications.
Aunt Helen showed me the strength, hard work and determination it took to do what you wanted to do.
Aunt Joan
Aunt Joan
Aunt Joan, born May 29, 1928, joined the Horner family ten years after Dad’s birth. As a young woman, she took to roping and Dad often said she could out rope him any day. When she was the rodeo queen for the Trinidad Rodeo, she did a roping demo before the rodeo that wowed the crowd.
She raised six children and lost one child at birth. Her life centered on her family.
As a child, I interacted little with Aunt Joan because she was busy with her own children, but as an adult, we had many memorable times together. She completely supported my books writing and bought many copies of my books to share with her family.
When she talked to me, she often called me “Rada,” which was a nickname of mine during my childhood—what an endearing act!
In her 90s, Aunt Joan joined us on Zoom during the pandemic and managed it amazingly. She lived a long happy life!
Aunt Joan showed me a genuine delight any time she saw me. I always felt so welcome in her presence.
Aunt Willie
My last picture with Aunt Willie
Aunt Willie, born November 7, 1920, was Mom’s older sister. During my childhood, she and Uncle Hughie lived in Albuquerque, New Mexico (maybe why I ended up there). She retired from Sandia Labs and moved closer to her daughter to Folsom, New Mexico, and lived there for years.
As a child, Uncle Hughie and she spoiled my brother and I—we were her only niece and nephew on her side of the family. Big Kat fireworks for the 4th of July. Many family picnics and times together. They introduced me to fishing, which became a favorite pastime for years!
Again, I was privileged to actively take part in an aunt’s life. At the end of her life, I see her maneuver from this life to the next. I learned from her that assisted living facilities resemble junior high antics. She taught me that a sense of humor doesn’t have to die when you age.
Aunt Willie showed me often her love through words, actions and a twinkle in her eye!
Finally,
My three powerful aunts throughout my life showed me how to be the woman I am today. I feel fortunate to have been so blessed.
Did you have any aunts in your life that touched you? If so, how?
All available at my website: laradasbooks.com or Amazon.com
~For me, it’s Christmas all year long!Here’s a variety of Christmas greetings from Flippo & Neeca, featuring his song, “When It’s Christmas Time in Texas”: https://youtu.be/mpJCUGffU3A
Grab a cup of coffee and enjoy a chapter!
~My new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? WON the 2022 New Mexico-Arizona Book Awards in the Body, Mind & Spirit Category. Have you bought your copy yet?Vist my website: laradasbooks.com or at Amazon.
A relaxed time with a latte and Flippo!
~Have you bought a copy of Flippo’s biography yet? Believe it or not—it’s been three years. Go here for your hardback or paperback: https://www.laradasbooks.com or at Amazon.
Mom with her Panda hat on!Mom at a Branson-Trinchera Reunion!Mom with horseshoe sunglasses
March—Women’s History Month! Did you know that? What a thrilling discovery! So, over the next four weeks, I plan on celebrating four women in my life and history. Some are dead; some are still alive! It doesn’t matter because they still have had an intact on me!
First, here’s a great resource with pictures from Dr. Carla Hayden, 14th Librarian of Congress to Sojourner Truth, three-quarter length portrait, standing, wearing spectacles, shawl and peaked cap, right hand resting on cane. What a wide variety of pictures of women in our history. Look at: https://womenshistorymonth.gov/about/
Now, more focused for me—where else would I start the celebration of women? My Mom—Elva Marie Dickerson Horner. Celebrating her this month has a poignant ring to it—she died March 23, 2013, ten years ago! In so many ways, that’s hard to believe! It seems longer; yet it seems like yesterday.
On March 23, 2013, at 5:10 pm, Dad and Jesus won—Dad had waited up there for seventeen long years to dance with the love of his life again. Jesus agreed with him, and the pull towards heaven won, and Mom passed from this world to the next.
Let’s Start at the Beginning
Elva Marie Dickerson Horner was born on September 24, 1928 to Virgil and Tresia Dickerson in Des Moines, NM. Mom joined her 9-year-old sister, Willa Lee.
Aunt Willie and Mom
Being the youngest child in the Dickerson home, Willa Lee tells a story about Mom: “when we went to the post office she would lie down on me—on the ground and throw a fit. I reached inside the fence and got me a switch. (Pause) She didn’t do that again.”
Living through the depression, Mom endured a hard life, living in a shack with dirt floors. Grandma would wet the dirt down and pack it hard, and Mom got in trouble for digging little holes afterwards.
Her Marriage and Family Life is Coming!
Mom loved to dance her whole life. A certain cowboy caught her eye at a dance. She noticed his unique dance style. At the Robin Hood Bar in Raton, New Mexico, he crossed the dance floor towards her. She knew he was going to ask her to dance. Then she panicked, and the romance of a lifetime started with Harold Horner, my dad. They dated; they danced!
Dad and Mom on their wedding day
Then, Dad and Mom were married on August 28, 1951 in Raton, New Mexico. Their married life that would span 45 years had begun. Mom immediately became stepmother to three small children and faced the trials of being a stepmom, but the children lived with their mom in Denver. They visited Mom and Dad regularly.
As newlyweds, they moved in with Dad’s parents in Branson, Colorado, and experience a small-town tradition—chevarier. Friends short-sheeted the beds, removed labels off all the canned goods, and Mom, the bride, had a wheelbarrow ride around town. Dad’s parents had the joy (and despair) of sharing this country tradition and all the effects.
Then Dad and Mom bought their own first home from the Stephenson’s a few months later—lock, stock & barrel. After the birth of my brother and me (thirteen months later), Mom’s family was intact! Her family grew with marriages, then nine grandchildren came, and then fifteen great grandchildren. She celebrated each addition to our family, so I witnessed a woman dedicated to her family.
Mom cherished family get-togethers and holidays. Her father-in-law, Laurence, loved to have family get-togethers at our house because of Mom’s cooking and hospitality!
Her Life in The Community
Lots of life happened in Branson through the years. Mom enjoyed not only her own children, but my brother’s and my friends in the community. She was happiest when her kitchen and adjacent dining room were full of young people. Mom maintained close relationships with many of these children into their adulthood.
After Granddad Horner died, Mom became Dad’s right-hand man, able to do anything on the ranch. She worked hard! In fact, in 1989, she fell off of a haystack and broke her wrist when I was teaching in Raton, New Mexico, right before shipping time. So, several rancher’s wives and I stepped in and helped cook and serve the meal to the shipping crew.
As Dad’s health worsened, I watched Mom lovingly cared for him until the end. What an example of dedicated love!
Mom’s Interests
Mom had a variety of interests:
She was an avid sports fan of all Branson sports. When Bub played, she yelled loudly at basketball games, drowning out other parents. For many years, Mom sat in the same place every game with a dear friend.
In the 70s, Mom got interested in genealogy and researched both the Dickerson and Horner sides extensively. In 1999, we traveled to Eastern Europe because of her genealogy interests, looking for connections to her granddad, who immigrated here as a castaway with no records of entry into the US. Today, I cherish her black ledger with all of her records. I joined her in this interest and have entered her data into an app on my computer, Family Tree Maker.
Girlfriends have been a part of Mom’s life forever: Ellen Berry in high school; Clara Warner, Nancy Salas & Mokey McMillan years ago; Helen Waldroup; Betty Clark and Rose Ward.
Learn More About Mom
Mom had an abiding faith and became baptized and a faithful member of the Des Moines, New Mexico Methodist church, attending every Sunday with her niece and her husband. She looked forward to the time after church when a group went to a local restaurant for lunch—and a little gossiping! Her faith lasted until the end.
All of us have evidence of Mom’s beautiful handiworks: afghans, quilts, Christmas ornaments and more.
I remember Mom as quite the prankster—she loved a good practical joke. If you fell asleep at her house in the living room, a good chance you would end up with whipped cream on your nose! That is just one of her many tricks!
Often when I was with Mom, I enjoyed the privilege of hearing her laughter, so rich and inviting, seeing her eyes twinkle and her joy for living.
Mom and I in our matching Christmas Outfits
As you can see, Mom touched my life and many others. She formed me and others to be the women we are today, and I will be forever grateful for my mom! So be sure to celebrate the women in your life this month by doing something special for them.
Mom’s Purple Bear
Recently my husband, Lin, went through our house collecting things for a rummage sale for the Garden Center in Albuquerque. I had a purple bear on the bed in our guest bedroom I gave Mom in her dying days. Somehow the purple bear ended up in a stack of stuffed toys, and he took it to the rummage sale to sell.
Afterwards we were in the guest bedroom, and I looked at bed and realized the purple bear had disappeared. Then I looked at the top of the bookshelf where the other various stuffed toys had ended and they were gone. I realized our house cleaners probably put the bear up with the others innocently.
When I told him where I thought the precious purple bear ended up, he returned to the sale before it started, went through bags and found it. He received cheers from the workers there because he had told them, “I have to save my marriage. I have to find that bear!”
Mom embrace that bear tightly in the hospital after I gave it to her, and we kept it near her until her dying day. Lin blessed my heart with his extreme effort to retrieve it!
Finally,
What women are you celebrating this month? Have you even thought about it? Which woman has influenced you? Why?
All available at my website: laradasbooks.com or Amazon.com
~For me, it’s Christmas all year long!Here’s a variety of Christmas greetings from Flippo & Neeca, featuring his song, “When It’s Christmas Time in Texas”: https://youtu.be/mpJCUGffU3A
Grab a cup of coffee and enjoy a chapter!
~My new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? WON the 2022 New Mexico-Arizona Book Awards in the Body, Mind & Spirit Category. Have you bought your copy yet?Vist my website: laradasbooks.com or at Amazon.
A relaxed time with a latte and Flippo!
~Have you bought a copy of Flippo’s biography yet? Believe it or not—it’s been three years. Go here for your hardback or paperback: https://www.laradasbooks.com or at Amazon.
I inherited my family home my parents bought in 1967. Now I own it after my mom died in 2013. Is it good or bad?
I just finished cleaning the bathroom in the house I inherited. Mom, Lin and I painted it and put up the trim in 2010. I hear our laughter as we looked and looked for western trim to put up, but couldn’t find any with horses or anything western. We settled for a floral trim. Then the painting took quite a lot of effort because of the high ceilings in there—ladders, stretching and camaraderie. Mom and I worked hard as we measured and cut the trim, yet I remember laughter and lightness in our task.
Because this is a second house, I kept so much of her accents and things—she whispers to me softly anywhere I go in this lovely old house. Good or bad? I feel lucky to still have so much of her with me.
Back to the bathroom—Mom collected frogs, so frogs dance across the top of the cabinet. Another statue sits below on a shelf, a friendly group of frogs shampooing each other’s hair. A frog-etched glass hangs over the door, greeting everyone as they enter.
Mom’s sense-of-humor dons one wall with a couple hangings with funny quips that still make me laugh:
Over the years since she died, I have done a lot of needed remodeling in the bathroom, but I kept up the trim we put up together—nostalgic for sure! However, recently I have looked at the paint color and trim and thought about alternatives, so I see a change in my future.
Traveling through the rest of the house,
Mom continues to speak to me in a variety of places. The year she died, she hung a pillowcase of a picture of my brother, she and me at a San Francisco Giants’ game over her dresser in the bedroom. Mom and I have on panda bear hats which celebrated a Giants’ player then, and my brother bought them for us. Absolute delight shines in all of our eyes! How did she get it up over the dresser in her frail state? I gave it to her for Christmas her last year, and it was a pillowcase—I wanted her to put it on her bed, but she was determined to put it where she wanted it! Good or bad?
I face this picture/pillowcase every night when I go to bed and every morning when I wake up. What a delightful remembrance of such a fun day and my dear mom and brother (and my husband who took the picture)!
As I type this,
I sit at the breakfast bar in the dining room facing the kitchen, where Mom spent most of her time. What a cook she was! After she passed, I thought about remodeling the kitchen and putting in a dishwasher. Yes, she only had a dishwasher for a short time in her long career in the kitchen, and Lin suggested it, seeing how much time I spent in the kitchen washing dishes after family gatherings. As I talked to the remodeler, he easily said something about removing the cabinets. I agreed for the moment.
Then when he left, I opened one cabinet with all her spices lined up and saw her handwriting on the inside of the door and knew I couldn’t do it. So, I bought a portable dishwasher and put down new linoleum as my remodeling for the time being.
Finally,
I inherited our home I lived in from my 7th year of school until now, overflowing with memories of mom and dad. Good or bad? Deeply, I feel how good this is because it is my heritage.
Do you have a connection to a house in your life? A childhood house? Your first home as a young married? Share your experience.
All available at my website: laradasbooks.com or Amazon.com
~For me, it’s Christmas all year long!Here’s a variety of Christmas greetings from Flippo & Neeca, featuring his song, “When It’s Christmas Time in Texas”: https://youtu.be/mpJCUGffU3A
Grab a cup of coffee and enjoy a chapter!
~My new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? WON the 2022 New Mexico-Arizona Book Awards in the Body, Mind & Spirit Category. Have you bought your copy yet?Vist my website: laradasbooks.com or at Amazon.
Baby, it’s cold outside! Read about Flippo inside where it’s warm!
~Have you bought a copy of Flippo’s biography yet? Believe it or not—it’s been three years. Go here for your hardback or paperback: https://www.laradasbooks.com or at Amazon.
For years, my parents’ death loomed in front of me as they aged. I dreaded losing them and wondered how I would cope. I had intricately woven my life into theirs, never living over four hours away.
It’s been almost ten years since losing Mom and twenty-six in losing Dad. The pain has subsided but never goes away. Here’s how I have coped.
In 2017, a few years after Mom’s death, I wrote a book, A Time to Grow Up: A Daughter’s Grief Memoir, dealing with my grief over the loss of both parents, and how I handled each differently.
These excerpts from my book show the difference in how I handled their two deaths.
Dad and me dancing at his 75th birthday party.
Dad’s Death
“On January 6, 1996, my dad died. Losing my first parent left me reeling. This loss changed my life forever. At Dad’s death, I was eight years sober. I had feared his death for years because of our close relationship. How could I survive without him? I wondered.”
Larada Horner-Miller, A Time to Grow Up: A Daughter’s Grief Memoir, (2017): xvi.
When my dad died, I didn’t write poetry to get clarity, to heal myself, or to see the events of my life as a part of my process. I wrote but not to deal with my loss.
I focused on Mom—that’s what I did, and I danced and worked.
We talked often about Dad, our loss, and our grief. I realized these conversations were important for both of us to heal. I learned that from her and relished her wisdom—I listened. Her tender care of herself demonstrated to me how to do this mysterious thing so many don’t understand how to do: grieve.
Time healed Mom. She managed her grief and lived seventeen years without Dad, in relative comfort and happiness.
I wanted that for myself when she passed.
Larada Horner-Miller, A Time to Grow Up: A Daughter’s Grief Memoir, (2017): 11.
Mom and me in one of our Christmas outfits bought by Dad.
Mom’s Death
On March 23, 2013, Mom died, but this time was different and so very difficult. Both my parents were now gone, and I felt alone, an “adult orphan.” My recovery and faith in my Higher Power helped me survive losing her, but my major relief came through writing—I wrote poetry and lots of it. When I wrote a poem, tears of relief flooded me—a major healing tool. I read them to my therapist, and she cried with me. One particular night, she asked me to publish them so her daughters could read them after she died.
It also helped that I was older and more aware of my personal means of handling life’s hard knocks. I had seventeen more years in recovery and had learned more about grief in watching Mom and how she handled the loss of her beloved husband of forty-three years.
Relief also came from new activities that unfolded in my search for healing and in many familiar activities I had done for years.
Larada Horner-Miller, A Time to Grow Up: A Daughter’s Grief Memoir, (2017): xvii, xviii.
Resources In This Book
As I wrestled with what I wanted to share in this book, my teacher-side came out and I added appendices galore to help the struggling wounded hearts who read this book deal with their grief.
The appendices I included are:
Appendix A—It’s a God thing!
I listed the many God incidents that occurred during those three months from Mom getting sick and dying:
Appendix B—Activities I did
I listed the activities I did after Mom died. Notice I focused on grief, but mostly the activities were a part of my normal life.
Appendix C—Books and websites that were helpful to me
Appendix D—Workbook
Healing from grief requires active participation if you want to get past the pain and the loss to the other side—to thrive more than just survive. I listed a few questions and activities to get the juices flowing after reading this book.
Finally,
In a unique twist, I didn’t write when Dad died—I focused on Mom. I wrote poetry and prose when Mom died. After Mom’s death, the poetry came in torrential waves! With every outpouring, more and more of me healed.
We must face our parents’ death—it is inevitable, but how we handle it is our choice. Originally, the title for this book was “I Grew Up to Be the Woman I Always Wanted to Be,” but that didn’t go with the subject, so I changed it. I wrote a poem with that title and will leave you with it by downloading it. (Download here!)
Have you lost a parent? Both parents? If both, do you feel like an adult orphan? How did you handle the loss?
~I heard yesterday that my new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? is a finalist in the 2022 New Mexico-Arizona Book Awards in the Body, Mind & Spirit Category. Winners will be announced in a couple of weeks.
~Wish You Were Here: A Novel by Jodi Picoult, one of my favorite authors, deals with the COVID pandemic in fiction as opposed to my nonfiction book. Check it out! Interesting story!
~MY FIRST AUDIOBOOK IS AVAILABLE: Go to Audible to buy my first audiobook, Let Me Tell You a Story. I’m working on Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? but have gotten stalled with shingles.
~Do you listen to podcasts? Here are three podcasts with interviews about my new book & some Flippo stories:
~Have you bought a copy of Flippo’s biography yet? Believe it or not—it’s been two years. Go here for your hardback or paperback: https://www.laradasbooks.com or at Amazon.
~For me, it’s Christmas all year long! Here’s a variety of Christmas greetings from Flippo & Neeca, featuring his song, “When It’s Christmas Time in Texas”: https://youtu.be/mpJCUGffU3A
Football games andIce cream and delicious desserts!
Last week on Saturday, August 27, 2022, the Branson-Trinchera Reunion saw a rebirth after being canceled for two years because of the pandemic. The creative committee came up with a different format, which attracted younger alumni.
So, this is how the day looked! The celebration started off at Branson’s new amazing football field with two games—first the junior high and then the high school. Many alumni circled the football field to cheer on both teams. We didn’t have football when I was in school. In fact, the football field is where the baseball field used to be!
The senior class manned the concession stand and provided needed refreshments on a hot day. What fun I had talking to old friends in the cafeteria—hugs galore!
After the two school games, there was an alumni flag football game. Several recent graduates stood in front of me and my car during the game, eager to get back on the field. As the high school game drew closer and closer to its finish, they put on their cleats and stretched muscles, ready to get on the field once more. During this game, the festivities began in the gym with an ice cream and dessert social. The committee provided the ice cream; the alumni brought the delicious desserts.
Keeping with tradition, the committee displayed Tom Cummins’ amazing historical photo collection and land plats. Many alumni with their families strolled by the photos, and I heard exclamations and shouts when someone recognized a relative.
The atmosphere of lifelong friendships and storytelling filled the air. What a pleasant experience! We only had a few “ole timers,” but people clustered around them to show their love and respect. The sad truth—we don’t have many “ole timers” left!
Kaylinn Gilstrap, a professional photographer, added an art show to the festivities, with its opening reception on August 13, 2022 from 3:00—6:00 PM and its closing reception coinciding with the reunion from 5:00—7:00 PM. This art show added quite an artistic flair to the traditional reunion. Many people ventured up to the old County Garage building to view the amazing artwork from many local artists and alumni.
I served on this committee for about twenty-five years, and we had seen a major decline in attendance. The “ole timers” were passing away. Many alumni from the 60s, 70s and 80s, for whatever reason, chose not to attend the reunion, and I don’t understand why. I love the fact that we had it this year—maybe different, but we had it.
When I first saw the flyer announcing a change of date and format, I have to admit I was skeptical. I couldn’t see how our elderly alumni could attend the football games, then stay for the social time with ice cream and desserts. I thought it would be too long! It worked!
Finally, it wasn’t the old format, but is that so bad? This innovative committee worked hard to provide the event we all love—a time to get together with family and friends. You can’t beat that.
And now looking towards 2023 and the future. Next year we will celebrate 100 years for the Branson school. What a time to celebrate! (The black-and-white picture is the original Branson School!)
~MY FIRST AUDIOBOOK IS AVAILABLE: Go to Audible to buy my first audiobook, Let Me Tell You a Story. I’m working on Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? but have gotten stalled with shingles.
~Do you listen to podcasts? Here are three podcasts with interviews about my new book & some Flippo stories:
Chat & Spin Radio, from Friday, June 24, 2022. Join us for a lively description of all my books!
Grab a last drink on the beach with Flippo & enjoy!
~Have you bought a copy of Flippo’s biography yet? Believe it or not—it’s been two years. Go here for your hardback or paperback: https://www.laradasbooks.com or at Amazon.
~For me, it’s Christmas all year long! Here’s a variety of Christmas greetings from Flippo & Neeca, featuring his song, “When It’s Christmas Time in Texas”: https://youtu.be/mpJCUGffU3A
~Wish You Were Here: A Novel by Jodi Picoult, one of my favorite authors, deals with the COVID pandemic in fiction as opposed to my nonfiction book. Check it out! Interesting story!
Read, reflect and respond!
~I’m not afraid of tough subjects like the coronavirus. Yes, I get people are tired of hearing about it, but. . . Visit my website to find out about my new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? and my other five books and three cookbooks: https://laradasbooks.com
