Grumpy or serene: it’s your choice! As I’ve aged (I’m 70 now; will be 71 in June), I see there’s two types of older people: grumpy or serene and the choice is yours. And I can guarantee you, I don’t want to be seen as grumpy!
I think of the movie, “Grumpy Old Men” starring Walter Matthau, Jack Lemmon and Ann Margaret. And I laugh! Yet those two old men personify “grumpy” to me.
This last week, I had a funeral to go to and saw how someone’s sense-of-humor cracked me up from the grave! Yes, I heard “Prop me up beside the jukebox if I die” at my friend’s graveside service. His personality lived as we laughed and cried. (See my post from last week.)
Then I had another interaction with a friend a year older than me, filled with anger at me for somethings I did years ago. It broke my heart as I read his list of resentments. Right then, I knew and see the contrast—grumpy not serene!
So, I turned to poetry as usual and this poem came up! Let me know what you think!
Grumpy or Serene? It’s My Choice!
I’m seventy, turning seventy-one.
In younger people’s eyes, that’s old.
I used to think seventy old.
But I look at myself in the mirror,
I take an emotional temperature,
And I’m sixteen
In a seventy-year-old body
That can’t go, go, go,
Like before.
I know that most of my life is behind me.
I packed a lot of living in my seventy years.
Yet I anticipate what’s coming ahead
With joy and expectation!
What will seventy-five be like?
Eighty?
Eighty-five?
Ninety?
I have a choice as I face my elder years:
Grumpy or serene!
I choose serene!
Some of my friends,
My schoolmates,
Same age or a year older or two,
Have chosen grumpy.
I can’t do it!
I can’t go there!
Yes, life has handed me
Disappointments
Heartache
Despair
But I funneled those negative feelings into
Recovery
Life
Love
People
Today I feed my serenity with
Writing
Time with Lin
In the hot tub
Watching movies
Traveling
Dancing when we can
Recovery meetings
Meditation
Quiet times with my God
Time with my brother
Watching sports
Trips to our ranch
Searching for wildlife
Reminiscing about our childhoods
I want my last days here
To be filled with
Laughter
Love
Travel
Dancing
Friends
Family
I count on more to come,
More of the good stuff,
Yes, I know weaved into it will be
Sadness
Loss
Trials
But I vow to you now,
Grumpy or serene won’t be a choice,
Because I choose serene!
In ending,
here’s some reading material to keep my older readers refreshed and serene and my younger reader prepared for your futures:
Baby boomers, how are we going to handle our 70s and 80s and beyond? Do those numbers strike dread and fear in your heart? If so, I have a book that might help! Garrison Keillor’s book, Serenity at 70, Gaiety at 80: Why You Should Keep on Getting Older, grabbed me because of the title. Serenity at 70? Gaiety at 80? My baby boomer heart knew he might have some answers for me.
On my next birthday, June 27—just a couple weeks away—I turn 69! Therefore, I face my last year in my sixth decade, and seventy looms ahead. My husband is 81, turning 82 in September, so we qualify for this book and the topics Garrison addresses with his usual sharp wit and consideration.
Why I Bought This Book
Lin and Larada
After purchasing this book for us, but before we read it, Lin and I had a heartfelt conversation about him buying a greenhouse. Sounds like a simple topic. Before this conversation, any time he discussed it with me, I responded positively. His garden graces our backyard, and it is gorgeous! So a greenhouse seemed like a logical addition!
One afternoon, he stated with strong yet controlled emotion, “We need to talk about the greenhouse.” I wondered about this because we had been talking about it off-and-on for months, but I heard something different in his voice this time.
“How do you feel about it? I’m 81 years old. What if I buy it and never get to use it?” he queried, looking start into my eyes.
I knew my response had to match the seriousness of his question.
“I think it’s a brilliant idea, because you’ve researched it for months. Also, you’re not the type of person to buy anything impulsively, so I know you will use it.” His hidden implication of his death caught me off guard.
He had more to say: “But what about Kathi’s greenhouse? She bought it and never got to use it. Is that an omen?” Kathi is his deceased wife who died of melanoma and a dear friend of mine.
Again, I knew my response had major implications!
“We can’t sit here, waiting to die just because we’ve hit a certain age that many think is over-the-hill. We have to keep pursuing our passions until we die. Buy it!”
From that conversation and an advertisement I saw for Garrison’s book, I bought this book, thinking he might have thoughts on the subject and he did!
Importance of “Prairie Home Companion”
When talking to Baby boomers, most connect Garrison Keillor with “Prairie Home Companion,” and to understand Garrison’s book, here’s an explanation:
“A Prairie Home Companion is a weekly radio variety show created and hosted by Garrison Keillor that aired live from 1974 to 2016. In 2016, musician Chris Thile took over as host, and the successor show was eventually renamed Live from Here and ran until 2020.
The show is known for its musical guests, especially folk and traditional musicians, tongue-in-cheek radio drama, and relaxed humor. Keillor’s wry storytelling segment, “News from Lake Wobegon,” was the show’s best-known feature during his long tenure.”
While at Colorado State University from 1982 to 1986, one of my best friends followed this radio show religiously. I’m sad to say I never did, but she talked about it often, so I knew about Garrison’s humor and wit and the woes of Lake Wobegon.
Several years ago, I bought a poetry collection book, Good Poems, that Garrison edited. I loved this lively collection, but didn’t remember the reason for the collection.
“Every day people tune in to The Writer’s Almanac on public radio and hear Garrison Keillor read them a poem. And here, for the first time, is an anthology of poems from the show, chosen by the narrator for their wit, their frankness, their passion, their ‘utter clarity in the face of everything else a person has to deal with at 7 a.m.'”
Fast forward to 2009, some friends invited me to see Garrison in a theater at the Popejoy Theater Complex in Albuquerque, and what an entertainer he is—songs, poetry and stories filled the evening with background music! Laughter, too!
Why, As a Baby Boomer, I Loved This Book
This short 96-page tome delighted me from the beginning with a seventeen-page preface—a sizeable piece for such a small book. Immediately, his response to our world today captured me, “Not My Problem,” or NMP. He added, “I’m no longer from here,” and later repeats he’s a tourist here now. What freedom, and that’s one interesting, continuous message throughout the book.
The simple format of four chapters adds to the mystery of the book: 1) The Deadly Precipice, 2) The Rules of the Game, 3) A Night in the ER and 4) Legacy Is Posterity’s View of Your Posterior and One Posterior Looks Much Like Another. In each chapter, Garrison addresses key age-related topics in a stream-of-consciousness manner, like we were sitting on the sofa with a drink and talking about aging.
Peppered throughout the book, he shares personal poetry and limericks. I just noticed one of his limericks decorates the cover of his book:
“Old folks like Lena and Ole
Choose to dance sprightly and slowly
And thus stay upright
But the gentle delight
They find is quite joyful and holy.”
Above all, I truly enjoyed how Garrison identifies key simple events in his life and how they changed everything: an insightful teacher directed Garrison out his class into another that matched his talents and moved him forward toward his life’s goals. I laughed at how he got into the radio business for forty years, which changed his life. Also, I marveled at how a trip to Nashville changed the direction of his radio show.
Throughout the book, he references his relationship with his wife and their major differences and wonderful compatibility and the influences of his hometown of Anoka, Minnesota, his family and the church.
While reading, I laughed often at this light-hearted book, full of wit about the age I am in and headed towards, then I would spin quickly because of a thought-provoking passage where I knew his truth about aging was my truth. “Old age is foreign territory and you should enjoy it as you would if you’d picked up and moved to Paris.” Garrison Keillor, “Serenity at 70, Gaiety at 80: Why You Should Keep on Getting Older,” (2021): 52.
Finally, Baby boomers!
In addition, Garrison’s book helped me laugh at this phase of my life, step back and be thoughtful and consider it with warmth and acceptance.
Let’s end with his humor:
“The five stages of aging are: nameless dread, the crisis of bad news, self-pity and disgust, a revelatory experience, and then contentment and maybe even happiness.”
Garrison Keillor, “Serenity at 70, Gaiety at 80: Why You Should Keep on Getting Older,” (2021): 42.
So, Baby boomers, what do you choose? I choose happiness.
What are your thoughts on aging, Baby Boomers? Garrison Keillor?
~Need a Father’s Day gift for your dad or granddad? How about a bundle of my books about ranch life? Go to my Etsy Shop, Larada’s Reading Loft, for 25% discounts on three bundles!
~MY FIRST AUDIOBOOK IS AVAILABLE: Go to Audible to buy my first audiobook, Let Me Tell You a Story. I’m working on Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? but have gotten stalled with shingles.
~Do you listen to podcasts? Here are three podcasts with interviews about my new book & some Flippo stories:
~Have you bought a copy of Flippo’s biography yet? Believe it or not—it’s been two years. Go here for your hardback or paperback: https://www.laradasbooks.com or at Amazon.
~For me, it’s Christmas all year long! Here’s a variety of Christmas greetings from Flippo & Neeca, featuring his song, “When It’s Christmas Time in Texas”: https://youtu.be/mpJCUGffU3A
~What happened to you in 2020-2021 during the coronavirus pandemic? Do you care? Are you on a spiritual path? Do you want to heal from the horrible effects of the pandemic of 2020? Visit my website to find out about my new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? and my other five books and three cookbooks: https://laradasbooks.com
Baby boomer with a purpose: my new motto! So, each month I will feature something to do with being a baby boomer. Let’s look at how age crept up on me during the pandemic.
So who are the baby boomers?
Baby boomers (often shortened to boomers) are the demographic cohort following the Silent Generation and preceding Generation X. The generation is often defined as people born from 1946 to 1964, during the post–World War II baby boom.
As a younger adult, I thought by the time I was sixty+ I would have figured it all out. I also felt life move at a nice cadence for most of my adult life; however, the adage, “Time speeds up the older you got,” has become a reality! Did the pandemic and its hyper focus on the tragedy we experienced speed time up?
During the height of the coronavirus pandemic, I wrote this poem, and I didn’t include it in my new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better?
Age Crept Up on Me!
August 12, 2020
Only yesterday, I was 16
It seems
You may laugh
My age shows
In wrinkles
Years lived
Dyed red hair to hide the grey
With white
Escaping near my eyes.
Something happened!
An acceleration
Of time
minutes
years
Recently!
Is it a side effect of the coronavirus?
Too much time on my hands?
Pondering my existence
In uncertain times?
I remember 18
High school graduation
Four in my graduating class
Started kindergarten together
Trinidad State Junior College
Fifty miles from home
Anxious about my future
And how my dreams
Would play out.
I remember 20
Newly married
With life and dreams
Spread out before me.
Hopeful and positive
I remember 30
Divorced and devastated
At the university
And
Starting over
With dreams of being a teacher.
I remember 40
In sexual trauma treatment
For incest
Uncovering and recovering from
Childhood pain
And dashed dreams.
I remember 50
Celebrated at
The National Square Dance Convention
In Oklahoma City
Serenaded at our After Party by
Jerry Junck
Mike Hogan
Lanny Weaklend
Still dreaming
About possibilities.
I remember 60
Mom had just died
A feeble celebration in Branson
With Bub, Lin and Jackie.
My dreams diminished by the pain
The loss.
Yes, you see
I’m not 16
But 67!
I look in the mirror
And recently
Somehow
Age crept up on me.
In that mirror
I see years
Life
Experiences.
I received no warning,
No alarm.
I see an older woman,
A matured lady,
A seasoned Larada.
Where did the years go?
Fast living
A rich life
A multitude of adventures
Yes, age crept up!
Quickly
Relentlessly
Quietly
Without warning.
So be aware
It can and may
Happen to you!
Finally,
Will it happen to you? As you walk through your wondrous life, slow down and note those beautiful serendipities God showers on each of us. Another special adage, “Slow down and smell the flowers” could become our new motto as we travel through this day, this month, this year! Make 2022 a marked special year!
What are your thoughts about aging? Where do you fit in the generations—which group? Can you chronicle the highlights of each decade of your life and glory in the wonders of it?
Be sure and leave your comments below so we can talk about this idea.
~Here’s Christmas greetings from Flippo & Neeca, featuring his song, “When Its Christmas Time in Texas”: https://youtu.be/mpJCUGffU3A
~Visit my website to find out about my new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? and my other five books and three cookbooks: https://laradasbooks.com
My belly seems to be my theme for the last couple of days, but today’s poem reaches beyond my belly to the entire process of aging. I’m 68 today and enjoy my thoughts on life and my belly! Apparently, my belly is a favorite topic of mine!
The View Down and The View Up
July 2018
The view down startles me today!
In exercise class,
sitting on my mat cross-legged, I looked down at my belly.
Recently, I lost fifteen pounds;
the bulge of my tummy has shrunk!
I love the loss!
My tummy doesn’t stick out like before.
The shrinkage is good!
Having just turned sixty-five.
I see my body changing,
delightful yet sad!
Arthritis cripples several fingers
and my thumbs.
Once I had straight lovely fingers,
hands I loved to view.
Now I see my mom’s and grandma’s hands
crooked and achy,
where mine used to be.
I still wear beautiful turquoise rings;
pain screams through the beauty.
My right knee hints of hurting today.
I have a brace I keep handy
just in case.
Arthritis too!
As I age,
the worst part so far—
I pee my pants
when I cough
when I sneeze
when I laugh too hard.
Thankfully, pads ended years ago
when my period stopped,
and I celebrated.
Now I have returned to pads
for protection
for safety
for security.
I fear an inexplicable puddle.
Will Depends be in my future?
Dance
exercise
Zumba
movement
massage
keep my body nimble, limber and moving.
Writing
reading
meaty, meaningful conversations
laughter
friends
responsibilities
keep my mind nimble, flexible and alive.
Facing this next phase of life,
I wonder?
I want to meet and greet
the elderly woman in me.
I want to accept her limits,
to challenge her mindset,
to embrace her idiosyncrasies.
I don’t see me as a feeble ole lady
wearing nylons rolled up to my knees
wobbling, unsure.
I will continue to wear hot pink and leggings
wobbling with style and grace.
I want to redefine being
a Senior Citizen.
I have “Hot Tamale” red spiked hair
instead of gray.
I saw the gray and white coming
and opted to hold on to my youth.
And besides,
I’m a redhead at heart,
because of my red-headed father.
I’m young at heart.
I’m trim today,
because I have to be.
Echoes of family genetics
keep me steadfast.
My maternal grandmother and her sisters
overweight German stock.
I have a life partner
that shares my attitudes.
We travel and enjoy life.
We laugh. We talk. We dance.
We start many days with a rousing Cribbage game.
He’s older than me
and
I watch his wise ways
of handling these changes.
I have dear friends and family who encourage me
to be the authentic woman God created me to be.
The future is bright.
The day is calm.
Serenity overflows.
I like all of me
the helpless baby I was,
the energetic five-year-old,
the obnoxious thirteen-year-old,
the sixty-five-year-old crone.
I honor each one and their influence on me today.
Yes, years bring wisdom
patience
acceptance
a strong knowing
I’m ready
for God’s next phase
a new uncharted adventure
The view up at this glorious world graces my day.
A verdant green forest of piñon pine
A luscious purple mesa lit up at sunset
Cholla cactus in full fuchsia bloom
My fifteen-year-old Siamese cat who struggles
with feline diabetes yet meows his love to me
Summer newness exploding in our garden
with anticipation
and joy
The view down
into my body and soul—
I like what I see!
The view up
out of my world
reaches to the clouds and back
to my God.
I’m ready!
Finally,
Three years ago, I wrote this poem. Obviously, the coronavirus pandemic has changed our dance and travel joys, but physically, not much has changed. I celebrate the idea of being a Baby Boomer with a purpose, and I found that here in the Ultimate Blog Challenge. Thank you! And I continue to wonder about this time of my life!
How has your body changed with aging? What are you doing to combat the changes? What are you doing to accept the changes? Share your thoughts below.
Visit my website to find out about my new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? and my other five books and three cookbooks: https://laradasbooks.com
