Category: Gratitude

Day 29 – A Picture of Me—On My Wedding Day
Gratitude · Memoirs · Mom · MY LIFE · My Thoughts · square dance

Day 29 – A Picture of Me—On My Wedding Day

Larada Horner-MillerLeave a comment

One of my favorite pictures of me is on my wedding day, October 22, 2011. The sheer joy shines in my eyes. And here’s the reason why!

Back Story

My ex-husband and I separated in 2008. We divorced in early 2009. My best girlfriend, Kathi Raver, in square dancing died in November 25, 2009. My ex-husband and I did lots of fun activities with Kathi and her husband, Lin—we went to square dance festivals and dance together. We played games in each other’s homes. Also, we danced weekly at our three club dances.

After the first of the year, Lin called me asking if I would like to dance with him at the three club dances. Because we were friends before, the dancing moved into more of a relationship.

So, we officially started dating in May 2010 and married in 2011. It might appear that we rushed this, but Kathi had said repeatedly to me when my ex and I broke up to get over it—give it six months and go on.

Lin proposed to me on Christmas Day, 2010 in Branson, Colorado in front of my mom and my aunt—what a precious day that was!

Then he spent the year telling everyone at square dance festivals were at all over the country to come to our wedding! He evenly got up on the microphone at some and made the big announcement.

Our Wedding Day

Because of our love for dancing, we got married at the Albuquerque Square Dance Center. My brother and mom gave me away. He had two best men and I had eleven brides’ maids.

Lin, Our Minister & Larada
Lin & Larada with her brother and mother

Because of our multiple marriages my Episcopal priest couldn’t marry us, so we found someone on the internet, and she did a beautiful job, weaving our story into our vows, even referencing recovery quotes for me.

So, we had a short ceremony and a big dance party afterwards! Three hundred of closest friends attended with some flying in from Florida and Tennessee.

During the ceremony, I read Lin a poem I wrote for the occasion. Here it is:

Larada reading her poem to Lin - picture
Close up of Larada reading her poem to Lin
Larada Reading her poem to Lin!

It’s Here! Our Wedding

October 22, 2011

It's here!

Our life together starts today

The past is behind us
The future looms positively in our view!

I have labored over the words to say to you.
How do I find words to describe what has happened 
Between us

There is not a container to hold it 

We come from 2 rich, full lives 
a small town New Jersey boy and
a country girl from Colorado
Other places, other times
Other husbands, other wives

We arrive here today
From tragedy 
The loss of Kathi
Your dear former wife
And My dear friend

We arrive here today
From joy
In our newfound relationship,
Having been friends for years!
I knew you and liked you before
I fell in love with you!

Thank you for proposing to me
On Christmas morning, 2010
In front of Mom and Aunt Willie, 
My 92 year old aunt 
and 
making It official.

When You met My dear Uncle Tanky 
After you proposed, he took me aside 
And said he's the best!

I agree—I have no doubt.

Many of our friends here today have 
Told us that they will be glad when we get married,
So we would stop kissing and hugging each other
All the time!

I will never stop!
Each kiss and each hug heals my soul at a deeper level
I want more!

Lin, to me
You are a cool mountain breeze
Deer stopping by for nourishment & comfort!
You are laughter!  Every Wednesday night at 
     round dancing when you refer to the foxtrot 
     as the F word, I laugh deeply!

I know that the life we will start today 
Is rich
blessed
And oh, so good!

As I look out over
Our family and friends,
I know we have the support
And power to make this marriage
Become a fascinating adventure.

Today we become husband and wife
And some of you may wonder
"why?"
At our age.

Here's my reason—
I wanted to stand today before
My family and friends and God and profess 
     my love to you.
To me the sacrament of marriage 
Has a different value today!
I wanted the protection for us
That marriage offers.

I commit today 
To be Larada
Creative, messy, wacky and fun!

I ask you to be Lin.
Creative, neat, linear and goofy!

Together we form a "we"
That's dynamic!

I could site a long list of thank you's today, 
     but I want to thank you mostly for one thing—
     choosing to
Share the rest of your 
Life with me!  It's here!

After I read this, Lin played, I Cross My Heart, a George Strait song for me—George is my favorite.

Finally,

The joy on my face in the picture below shows exactly what this day was for me—the best day of my life!

Larada Horner-Miller on her wedding day - picture

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Gratitude, Thanksgiving & Immigrants!
family · Gratitude · My Thoughts · Thanksgiving

Gratitude, Thanksgiving & Immigrants!

Larada Horner-MillerLeave a comment
Happy Thanksgiving - gratitude

Gratitude has become a key ingredient in my life plan, and Thanksgiving reminds me to be grateful for all my blessings. Today I look back at my humble beginnings from an illegal immigrant!

Gratitude & First Thanksgiving

As a child, I remember being taught how the pilgrims celebrated that first Thanksgiving with the Natives. They shared food and probably were saved by the produce from the Natives.

So, anytime I think of that original Thanksgiving, I picture a peaceful picturesque setting with those first “illegal” immigrants eating with those who they had invaded.

Gratitude & My Family Story

All my life, I relished any time my mom told the story of how her great-grandfather Frank Joe Ulbig immigrated here from Germany (Prussia) as a stowaway in a ship, so there’s no record of his entrance into the United States. I checked Ellis Island when I was there in the 90s—no record. Mom had checked Ellis Island and New Orleans long distance—no record there either.

War raged in Prussia at the time Ulbig immigrated, unsettled times for that part of the world.

“The Franco-Prussian War or Franco-German War, often referred to in France as the War of 1870, was a conflict between the Second French Empire and the North German Confederation led by the Kingdom of Prussia.”

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Franco-Prussian_War

Probably about twenty years old, Ulbig must have heard he would be welcomed in the United States but didn’t have the money to pay passage across the ocean. His only option: stowaway!

What if Prussia and Austria swapped? – Europe in 1860
byu/CaptainCakeEater inimaginarymaps

I think Mom said both him and future wife, Tresia Sieger, immigrated illegally as stowaways.

Before, this story seemed romantic and far off. Recently, it has taken a different spin for me! I can imagine Ulbig’s despair and urgent need to leave Prussia and get to the United States.

Mom & Travel to Eastern Europe

During the 70s, Mom really got into genealogy for both sides of our family. She researched and sent letters, doing all her research prior to the internet. Since then, I have an ancestry.com account and love the resources they provide.

After my dad’s death in 1996, Mom realized a dream-come-true. In 1999, we talked about a trip to Germany. I gave her the travel brochure and let her decide which trip we would take. Here I thought we would go to Germany only. She selected a trip to Eastern Europe which included Germany, Poland, Czech Republic, Slovakia, Hungary, and Austria.

Later I realized why she chose that—her great-grandfather was from Prussia which was eastern Germany, so she wasn’t satisfied to just visit Germany. She had spent countless hours trying to find more information about this mysterious man.

A Serendipity in Berlin

When we got to Berlin, the previous capital of Prussia, we did the city tour, then we went out in the city on our own walking. When we came upon a phone booth, I looked in and it had a phone book, so we found the name, Ulbig, and she squealed! We saw almost a whole page of Ulbigs in Berlin. Could they all be relatives? How could we connect with them?

As she looked at it and longed to connect, I said, “I don’t know enough German to call anyone there.”

She sighed and turned and walked away, not thinking about possibilities!

“How about we tear that page out of the phone book?” I asked sheepishly.

“We can’t do that!” she exclaimed, then laughed because she knew her daughter.

“Oh, yes we can!” I laughed as I tore that page out of the book carefully. I handed it to her. She folded it methodically and put it in a safe place in the purse.

When we got home to family and friends, she proudly showed off her favorite souvenir from her trip—a page torn out of a phone book from Berlin, Germany with a list of Ulbigs.

Gratitude & Immigrants Today

A couple months ago, I told someone opposed to my political views this story. He looked at me in disdain which didn’t shock me. He couldn’t celebrate my story.

I’m proud of my heritage and the tenacity they showed to make their dreams come true, buck the odds and do whatever they had to do to get here. They ended up in Montague, Texas. My side of the family moved north to northern New Mexico and the rest is history.

Finally,

Yes, I have a strong affinity for immigrants. I have gratitude for what I’ve experienced in this country. I try to take some time on Thanksgiving Day to remember what this country has as its foundation—our founding fathers were illegal immigrants that took this country by storm. And today, I celebrate my strong lineage, dedicated to a new life and new future in a distant land.

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Margaret Taught Me to Knit: Women’s History Month Continues!
Colorado · Friends · Gratitude · Memories · My Thoughts

Margaret Taught Me to Knit: Women’s History Month Continues!

Larada Horner-MillerLeave a comment

Margaret Lewis taught me to knit—a lifelong hobby I love! I continue celebrating Women’s History Month, and my personal heroines! Today, I honor Margaret Lewis, a lifelong friend and my Home Ec 4-H leader. I knit because of her!

Margaret Lewis at the 2013 Branson-Trinchera Reunion

This afternoon, I had a delightful conversation with Margaret Lewis and found out a bunch of information I didn’t know about her. When I stopped outside her house, childhood memories flooded me. During my childhood, Harry and Bea Warner lived in the house Margaret now lives in. I used to visit them regularly to get eggs. Such strong connections with the Warners and Margaret!

When I knocked at her door, she waved me in and we greeted each other warmly— she looked so good at 99 years old. Immediately, I started the interview and she aptly answered most of the questions with giggles and sighs ever so often.

FAMILY LIFE

Margaret Oxandaburu was born June 7, 1924 in Las Animas, Colorado. Her parents immigrated from France. They were French Basque. Her parents didn’t meet until they arrived in Las Animas and were there because of a couple, John & Jean Mary, who sponsored the two to come to the United States. This couple was called her parent’s “home parents.”

She was the youngest of six girls and grew up on their ranch south of Kim, Colorado, but her dad bought a house in Trinidad, 410 College Street. He took the six girls to Trinidad where she attended Holy Trinity Catholic School from kindergarten through twelfth grade.

After high school graduation, the six girls went to Trinidad State Junior College. Afterwards, Margaret went to Denver, Colorado to live with her sister Mary and husband Kenneth where she attended DU for several semesters. Then she finished her degree at Greeley with an elementary education certification.

After college, Margaret returned to their home ranch and rode a horse one to two miles to teach at Fallah Springs’ school for her first teaching assignment. Fallah Springs was fourteen miles south and east of Kim.

LEADING UP TO MARRIED LIFE

She met Don Lewis when he came home after the service. By that time, Margaret had several years of teaching under her belt. Also, by then she taught at Branson, Colorado. Because of the shortage of teachers with the men off to war, she taught English, history and math in the high school.

Branson Hotel & Restaurant - Margaret
Branson Hotel & Restaurant

At this time, she lived in the hotel ran by Mrs. Shaw which also had a restaurant. Two women teachers lived there: she and Clara Van Matre (who was a dear friend of my parents and our family). These two young women walked to school each morning together.

Don Lewis’ parents owned the ranch presently owned by Will Ward north of Branson. Margaret’s sister, Ray, and her husband, Toy, owned it for most of my life.

Don and Margaret married January 17, 1944 at Holy Trinity Church in Trinidad, Colorado. They had two children: Dave and Lori. Margaret lost both Don and Dave. But her family has grown exponential: she has seventeen grandchildren. Her daughter and husband live in Branson and take good care of her. And her grandchildren regularly keep in touch. Her eyes sparkled with pride when she talked of their accomplishments.

Teach - Margaret

As she thought back over her life here in Branson, Margaret noted she taught over fifty years in Trinidad, Fallah Springs and Branson. She remembered a memorable trip to France with her granddaughter Kerry and her husband, Jacob. And she noted she easily conversed in Basque there.

4-H LIFE

Margaret led 4-H groups in Trinidad at East Side school when she taught there, but her longest run as a 4-H leader was in Branson, where she so deeply touched my life.

Knitting needles - Margaret

Thinking back, she remarked, “I taught a lot of girls to knit,” as we talked about her 4-H groups.

“You taught me to knit when I was ten,” I replied, “and I’m still knitting sixty years later.” Margaret taught me and her niece and my classmate, Kay, the same year to knit.

However, we didn’t talk about all the hours she taught me to sew, too! First year I made a red gingham apron, the requirement for the first year. Each year afterwards, the requirements got harder, and she continued to teach me more and more—how to put in a zipper, gather a skirt and so much more. Margaret dedicated hours to me and many others, teaching us individually!

OTHER MEMORIES

When I asked her about her favorite memory about Branson, she sighed, “I have so many. It’s a charming little town.”

I knew she had a close relationship with Ray, her sister, who lived in the old Lewis place north of Branson. She shared a hilarious story: they each had two-way-radios. So, when they talked on them, they talked in Basque. Other, listening in, heard them and had no idea what they were saying and these two mischievous women loved that. Margaret also helped Ray out with her nine children.

Her niece, Kay, and I were in the same class, so I was with them often. When I joined them on trips to Trinidad, they stopped by 410 College Street to visit Grandma Oxandaburu and Uncle Cadet. I remember hearing them speak Basque and they taught me how to say “hello” to them in Basque. It sounded so luscious! Uncle Cadet was her dad’s brother and they had worked together. She noted he was a bachelor.

ON LEAVING MARGARET TODAY

Before I left, she asked about my husband, Lin, remembering sitting next to him at the banquet at the prom at the school several years ago. She reminisced about watching my parents dance. I have known her my whole life. As we talked, she’d forget some details and said, “I’ll remember when we circle back.” What a memory she has for 99 years!

We ended our visit with her identifying five languages she can speak: French Basque, French, Spanish, English and Italian—what an amazing woman! As I gathered my things, we hugged a couple times, lingering over the memories and our sweet relationship. We moved to the front door, still holding on to more memories and relationships. I updated her on my family.

Yes, Margaret has always been a heroine of mine. This gentle, quiet, loving woman taught me so much, but more importantly—loved me and encouraged me my whole life! I look forward to big celebration in June of 100th birthday!

Did you have an adult in your childhood that not only taught you skills but so much more? Let me know.

~ My book cover of Hair on Fire made it to the 2nd Round: Out of 100 covers only top 50 covers will go to the next round. Voting time again. Vote my book cover at #CoverOfTheMonth. https://allauthor.com/cover-of-the-month/17423/

~Enjoy my recent interview on the podcast, The Writing Table

Hair on Fire: A Heartwarming & Humorous Christmas Memoir - Margaret

~ Hair on Fire: A Heartwarming & Humorous Christmas Memoir available in audiobook format at the following places:

~SHOP TODAY FOR YOUR AUTOGRAPHED COPY! Shop at my Etsy Shop or my Shopify Store

2023 is Here, Thank God!
Gratitude · Life Lessons · My Thoughts

2023 is Here, Thank God!

Larada Horner-MillerLeave a comment
2023 is here!

2022 is gone, and I’m glad 2023 is here!  2022 has been a hard year for me, but I always believe in the positives amid trouble.

2022 is gone-2023 is here!

In 2022, I faced shingles in April and ended up with postherpetic neuralgia (nerve pain on face, scalp and ear) ever since—still nine months later. Because of the ongoing pain, I have had to continue pain medication, gabapentin. At first, I took higher dosages but recently have continued taking it three times a day at a lower dose. I hate the side effect of a fuzzy mind. This last week, I changed to Lyrica because my doctor thought it might help with the fuzziness.

Because of the fuzziness and pain with the neuralgia, I had to stop my next book, along with the audiobook of Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? I was recording. Before the shingles hit, I had recorded the entire book, but working my way back through chapter by chapter required concentration I didn’t have. Also, when I sat down to work on my next, I Said Yes, a how-to write a biography book, I stared at the screen and struggled to even get a sentence written. In fact, I sat that as my goal—write just one sentence a day, and I couldn’t do it!

When we returned from our second cruise on December 8, Lin and I were diagnosed with COVID. I experienced worse symptoms than Lin and ended up with a sinus infection, so my doctor prescribed a strong antibiotic that bothered my stomach. Also, the COVID intensified the neuralgia pain on my face, so my recovery has been slow!

Also, last month, my sister passed away unexpectedly. She had some health issues, but I had just talked to her and was expecting an update on her health.

So, yes, 2022 hit me hard, but I want to focus differently with you, my friends.

Group looking at a tablet-2023

Positives I Experienced in 2022

  • Because I got to Urgent Care quickly after I suspected I had shingles, I got the antiviral medication quickly, so the break-out on my head and face were reduced.
  • Also, my eye doctor demanded I receive a second week of the antiviral medicine when I saw him that first week, and I’m sure that helped.
  • Regardless of how I felt, I wrote this weekly blog.
  • Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? won the 2022 New Mexico/Arizona Book Award for Body, Mind & Spirit category.
  • I joined an international meditation group in April and have taken part regularly. I have also led the group a few times, which stretched me completely.
  • I wrote haikus after my meditations. They came so easily from the meditations.
  • I stayed dedicated to my daily Quiet Time and Morning Pages almost every morning.
  • I thoroughly enjoyed Lin’s garden, and we hosted a garden party in July and had 25 attendees come and celebrate his garden.
  • I had a lot of quality time with my 19-year-old cat, Jesse. Any time I sat on the loveseat, he thought he should sit on my lap.
  • I had several trips to our ranch in Colorado and spent time with my brother.
  • Yesterday, I finally became the winner of the Cribbage tournament Lin and I enjoy each year. He has beat me for 11 years! I won by one game!
  • Two wonderful cruises
    • 1st cruise Lin and I started in Barcelona, Spain. We traveled to France, Italy, Greece and then back to Rome, Italy. You can read about this cruise in my previous blogs.
    • 2nd cruise, Lin and I started in Rome, Italy. We cruised to Italy, Spain and Portugal. We ended up in Lisbon, Portugal, and I will write about this cruise in the coming weeks.
    • I had the joy of cruising with my husband, Lin, who makes every trip an adventure.

Finally,

As another year ends, I often sit and ponder what the past year held, and I’ve learned to look at all of it—both negatives and positives. As I face 2023, I also have high expectations for this new year—it’s a clean slate with all kinds of possibilities. However, I’ve learned in recovery an expectation is a premeditated resentment, so I’m careful with too high of expectations. I look forward to what 2023 holds for me and you!

What are your expectations for 2023?

News, News, News!

~2 Big Sales to start the new year!

~For me, it’s Christmas all year long! Here’s a variety of Christmas greetings from Flippo & Neeca, featuring his song, “When It’s Christmas Time in Texas”: https://youtu.be/mpJCUGffU3A

Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? meme

~My new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? WON the 2022 New Mexico-Arizona Book Awards in the Body, Mind & Spirit Category. Have you bought your copy yet? Vist my website: laradasbooks.com

Just Another Square Dance Caller: Authorized Biography of Marshall Flippo

~Have you bought a copy of Flippo’s biography yet? Believe it or not—it’s been two years. Go here for your hardback or paperback: https://www.laradasbooks.com or at Amazon.