Category: Thanksgiving

Milk or Water? That’s the Question!
family · My Thoughts · Thanksgiving

Milk or Water? That’s the Question!

Larada Horner-Miller2 Comments
Woman with turkey - milk

Milk or water? That’s the question my Aunt Willie & Mom argued about for fixing turkey gravy. This Thanksgiving I remembered their good-natured disagreement. Immediately memories flooded me of Thanksgivings past.

When I asked Lin what he wanted to do for Thanksgiving this year, he said, “Let’s cook a turkey!” So, we did! I bought all the ingredients needed (yet missed some), and wondered how I would fare with my hurting foot and leg.

The Week Before Thanksgiving

On Monday we got the turkey out of the freezer and put it in the frig. Then on Tuesday Lin put it in cold water in the sink, changing the water repeatedly.

To cut what I needed to do Thanksgiving Day, I made the cranberry sauce from scratch on Wednesday evening. It was at this point that Mom’s presence overcame me. She taught me how to do this, assuring me that it was quite easy. After Lin faced diabetes a few years ago, I traded out the cup of sugar with a cup of Monk fruit. Yes, I smiled once again at being in the kitchen with her, preparing a holiday meal. I felt her presence at my elbow.

Thanksgiving Day – Milk or Water?

Then on Thanksgiving morning, we got up and played our daily two cribbage games then turned on the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade and watched part of it. I took time away to join my meditation group to ground me for the day. The leader read Mary Oliver’s poem, Gratitude, for the inspirational part before we meditated. I loved all the questions Oliver asked in her poem then answered with nature:

  • What did you notice?
  • What did you hear?
  • When did you admire?
  • What astonished you?
  • What would you like to see again?
  • What was most tender?
  • What was most wonderful?
  • What did you think was happening?
Gratitude by Mary Oliver

Throughout the day, I asked myself, “What did you notice?”

Then I peeled the potatoes and covered them in water. I prepared the green bean casserole and grabbed a shower and dressed.

For years, we have cooked our turkey in a cooking bag in a roaster. It cuts the cooking time considerably and the meat is moist. My cousin, Jan, taught me this trick.

So we got the turkey in the roaster at 11:00 AM. I bought a twenty-pound turkey (yes, just us two but we love turkey!) So, it wouldn’t be done until about 2:00 PM.

Because of that, I delayed cooking the potatoes to mash, but when I did get started my time management worked out beautifully.

Next, I cooked the sweet potatoes in the microwave. You may wonder why! Mom died in March 2013, so I cooked my first Christmas dinner in years that year. I had bought fresh sweet potatoes and we went to Branson. I hate canned sweet potatoes! So, I had to figure how to do them from scratch. So I cooked the sweet potatoes in the microwave, peeled them afterwards. Yes, they were hot and I had to be careful not to burn my hands.

So that tradition started in 2013 for me! And I have continued over the years to this year. After cooking and peeling them, I cut them up and prepared the dish for candied yams, but I forgot to buy the marshmallows to top the dish. I told Lin and he found a container of marshmallow crème in our pantry and I used the crème and it worked.

Then I cooked the potatoes and mashed them. Lin likes them sort of lumpy, so I left them that way.

I put the sweet potatoes and green bean casserole in the oven at the same time. Then I cooked the stuffing (yes, I use Stove Top), but I grilled celery to add something extra to the stuffing. The first batch I grilled, I burned, so I did a second and they turned out great.

I felt Mom smiling. She never judged any mistake I made in the kitchen.

Mom & Aunt Willie - milk
Mom & Aunt Willie

But Mom really came to mind front and center when I got to the gravy. Yes, I made the gravy from scratch. Mom and Aunt Willie had a fun argument going on in their later years: was it water or milk you add to gravy? Being raised by the same mother, this often made me shake my head and wonder—why the question?

As I made the gravy, I asked, “Water or milk?” and laughed. I heard Mom’s sweet laughter echo around the kitchen. I have such fond memories of those two elder ladies joyfully arguing about that question.

Me & Mon - milk
Me & Mom

As I finished up the preparation of the gravy, I stepped back so thankful for all the precious Thanksgiving memories I have: the water/gravy question, fun hours sitting around our round table in Branson, Colorado playing games and laughing, and trips to the Boulder Dinner Theater with Mom and Dad.

Finally,

Yes, Mom joined me in my kitchen this Thanksgiving—in my spirit and in my soul!

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Gratitude, Thanksgiving & Immigrants!
family · Gratitude · My Thoughts · Thanksgiving

Gratitude, Thanksgiving & Immigrants!

Larada Horner-MillerLeave a comment
Happy Thanksgiving - gratitude

Gratitude has become a key ingredient in my life plan, and Thanksgiving reminds me to be grateful for all my blessings. Today I look back at my humble beginnings from an illegal immigrant!

Gratitude & First Thanksgiving

As a child, I remember being taught how the pilgrims celebrated that first Thanksgiving with the Natives. They shared food and probably were saved by the produce from the Natives.

So, anytime I think of that original Thanksgiving, I picture a peaceful picturesque setting with those first “illegal” immigrants eating with those who they had invaded.

Gratitude & My Family Story

All my life, I relished any time my mom told the story of how her great-grandfather Frank Joe Ulbig immigrated here from Germany (Prussia) as a stowaway in a ship, so there’s no record of his entrance into the United States. I checked Ellis Island when I was there in the 90s—no record. Mom had checked Ellis Island and New Orleans long distance—no record there either.

War raged in Prussia at the time Ulbig immigrated, unsettled times for that part of the world.

“The Franco-Prussian War or Franco-German War, often referred to in France as the War of 1870, was a conflict between the Second French Empire and the North German Confederation led by the Kingdom of Prussia.”

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Franco-Prussian_War

Probably about twenty years old, Ulbig must have heard he would be welcomed in the United States but didn’t have the money to pay passage across the ocean. His only option: stowaway!

What if Prussia and Austria swapped? – Europe in 1860
byu/CaptainCakeEater inimaginarymaps

I think Mom said both him and future wife, Tresia Sieger, immigrated illegally as stowaways.

Before, this story seemed romantic and far off. Recently, it has taken a different spin for me! I can imagine Ulbig’s despair and urgent need to leave Prussia and get to the United States.

Mom & Travel to Eastern Europe

During the 70s, Mom really got into genealogy for both sides of our family. She researched and sent letters, doing all her research prior to the internet. Since then, I have an ancestry.com account and love the resources they provide.

After my dad’s death in 1996, Mom realized a dream-come-true. In 1999, we talked about a trip to Germany. I gave her the travel brochure and let her decide which trip we would take. Here I thought we would go to Germany only. She selected a trip to Eastern Europe which included Germany, Poland, Czech Republic, Slovakia, Hungary, and Austria.

Later I realized why she chose that—her great-grandfather was from Prussia which was eastern Germany, so she wasn’t satisfied to just visit Germany. She had spent countless hours trying to find more information about this mysterious man.

A Serendipity in Berlin

When we got to Berlin, the previous capital of Prussia, we did the city tour, then we went out in the city on our own walking. When we came upon a phone booth, I looked in and it had a phone book, so we found the name, Ulbig, and she squealed! We saw almost a whole page of Ulbigs in Berlin. Could they all be relatives? How could we connect with them?

As she looked at it and longed to connect, I said, “I don’t know enough German to call anyone there.”

She sighed and turned and walked away, not thinking about possibilities!

“How about we tear that page out of the phone book?” I asked sheepishly.

“We can’t do that!” she exclaimed, then laughed because she knew her daughter.

“Oh, yes we can!” I laughed as I tore that page out of the book carefully. I handed it to her. She folded it methodically and put it in a safe place in the purse.

When we got home to family and friends, she proudly showed off her favorite souvenir from her trip—a page torn out of a phone book from Berlin, Germany with a list of Ulbigs.

Gratitude & Immigrants Today

A couple months ago, I told someone opposed to my political views this story. He looked at me in disdain which didn’t shock me. He couldn’t celebrate my story.

I’m proud of my heritage and the tenacity they showed to make their dreams come true, buck the odds and do whatever they had to do to get here. They ended up in Montague, Texas. My side of the family moved north to northern New Mexico and the rest is history.

Finally,

Yes, I have a strong affinity for immigrants. I have gratitude for what I’ve experienced in this country. I try to take some time on Thanksgiving Day to remember what this country has as its foundation—our founding fathers were illegal immigrants that took this country by storm. And today, I celebrate my strong lineage, dedicated to a new life and new future in a distant land.

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person holding black and white love print tote bag - gratitude
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Try Gratitude—I Challenge You!
family · God · Gratitude · My Thoughts · Recovery · Thanksgiving

Try Gratitude—I Challenge You!

Larada Horner-Miller8 Comments
Gratitude tuns what we have into enough

Try gratitude! My challenge to you is to be grateful this week—about all the blessings of your life. Thanksgiving always makes me think of gratitude. But do you really know what gratitude is? Have we heard it connected to Thanksgiving so often, it’s lost its meaning?

Positive psychology defines gratitude in a way where scientists can measure its effects, and thus argue that gratitude is more than feeling thankful: it is a deeper appreciation for someone (or something) that produces longer lasting positivity.


https://positivepsychology.com/gratitude-appreciation/

Gratitude changes people, attitudes and just about everything it comes into contact with! In recovery, I learned the power of gratitude. I often hear people comment about making a gratitude list. We have a phrase, an Attitude of Gratitude, I’ve heard often. For many, negativity supersedes positivity or gratitude habitually, so the habit has to be changed. And how to do you do that? Practice, practice, practice!

Gratitude Log

So, I created a Gratitude log to chart three things to be grateful for each day this week. Click here to download my Gratitude Log, and start today. It is a Word document, so you can record your list on your computer or tablet. Decide whether to do it in the morning or evening, then commit yourself to that time each day. Maybe put a reminder on your calendar on your phone or tablet.

Email Family Members and/or Friends

To go along with this log, if you are listing people, shoot them off an email. I provide a sample below. If that person doesn’t do email, drop a card in the mail. That would be a shock! Just imagine the double blessing it would be—to get mail from someone other than the ridiculous junk mail vendors and then to open it to a beautiful note about your thankfulness about him/her.

To make it easy for you this week, I know you’re busy, busy—copy this email and send it to people to brighten their holidays.

My Email Example

Dear (Name),

I have deemed this week to be Gratitude Week, and I wanted you to know you are on my list. As I focus on all the good things in my life, I think of you and here’s why:

  • Add one thing reason you are grateful for this person
  • Add one thing reason you are grateful for this person
  • Add one thing reason you are grateful for this person

Just know I love you dearly and felt like I needed to let you know. (Pass this email on to anyone and bless their day!)

My Gratitude for My Recovery & My God

Gratitude is the best attitude!

So, each day this week for the Ultimate Blog Challenge, I’m going to identify people, places and things I’ve grateful for.

My recovery, which led me back to my God, tops my gratitude list. After many years, I have been given, because of recovery, a life I could never had dreamed of. Because of recovery, I came back to a God of my understanding who blesses every day. I had turned my back on the God of my childhood and young adulthood for many years, but because recovery offered me a God I could work with, it all changed.

Finally,

I often need to add something to a holiday to ground me amid the insanity of our world. Being grateful always centers me once more as I head towards Thanksgiving and then Christmas.

So, can you join me in this challenge and be grateful this week? Email or write someone a note to let them know why you are grateful for them? Try it again next week and the week afterwards? What do you think? Let me know below.

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How About Pizza for Thanksgiving?
Coronavirus · Holidays · My Thoughts · Thanksgiving

How About Pizza for Thanksgiving?

Larada Horner-Miller2 Comments
Photo by Ponyo Sakana from Pexels

Yes, it was pizza for Thanksgiving! We knew it would be a different holiday because of Covid-19 restrictions, but I had an eye procedure on Monday of Thanksgiving week, and my recovery didn’t go well, complicating the food preparation.

I had the same eye procedure two years ago, so I dreaded it, but I didn’t think anything about doing it on Monday before Thanksgiving. Last time, I recovered quicker. They drastically changed the procedure on my second eye which made it more painful and invasive. So, I spent much of the week in bed. I took serious pain medication, so I also had the effect of that to deal with, but I stopped it on Wednesday.

So, no cooking happened. I’ve baked homemade pumpkin pies for the last ten years, so that’s what I missed the most, but we enjoyed our pizza dinner and store-bought pie!

For most of my life, Thanksgiving has been a family-filled holiday with delicious food, lots of people and games. Gradually, it’s changed over the years as family members pass away and people moved away. After Mom died, it’s been mostly Lin and me.

Last year, my brother joined us, and we had a festive celebration. He loves football too, so we spent our day eating a traditional turkey dinner and watching non-stop football. On Friday, we ventured out to the new Cabela’s in Albuquerque to witness a massive amount of hunting enthusiasts out ready for the sales. We didn’t stay long.

This year, we started Thanksgiving morning with the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade and punctuated the day with eye drops for Lin and me. Lin is recovering from his second cataract surgery and had a great experience with both but still needs eye drops.

Lin & Larada wish you a Happy Thanksgiving after pizza
Lin & Larada with her sore eye!

After our pizza—really cheese breadsticks shaped like a pizza—I snuggled down on the sofa in my favorite handmade afghan—a rainbow-colored creation from my Mom’s nibble fingers. A content time of relaxation with Jesse curled around my feet!

Larada Relaxing on the Sofa with Jesse Warming Her Feet!

We watched the two football games, cheering on our teams we’d picked in a football pool Lin runs. It felt really strange not to have the third game in the evening, but we survived!

After a light dinner, Lin called me out to see the Christmas lights he’d put up a couple weeks ago on the garage—the Christmas season officially started at the Miller’s house. We also began another holiday tradition we love: we started watching Christmas movies on Amazon Prime. We both enjoy the predictable plots and the celebrations of regional traditions.

As I look back over the day, it truly was a blessed Thanksgiving Day! Yes, we didn’t have all the trimmings we normally have, but we enjoyed each other and our crazy traditions.

Jesse helping me Type!
Jesse Helping Me Type This!

As I worked on this blog post, my cat, Jesse, sat partially on my lap as I typed this out on my laptop. I didn’t think I would be able to do this post this morning. I had a horrible setback with my eye. When I got up and walked into the bathroom, the sunlight hit my eye, and I recoiled with the pain, but I couldn’t get away from it quickly enough because of the wide window and the location of the sun. By the time I grabbed a Kleenex, I had some blood in my tears—not good! I have had major pain in my eye all day.

So after this mishap, I spent the morning very low-keyed and with limited technology, but I couldn’t miss communicating with you.

I’ve thought a lot about how much the coronavirus changed this holiday for so many—the sacrifice many people made for the safety of others and themselves. My family followed suit and celebrated separately. Yes, it was different—pizza and lots of eye drops, but it’s onward to Christmas!

How did you spend your Thanksgiving this year? Was it different? The same? Let me know!

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Merry Christmas from Flippo

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