family · My Thoughts · Thanksgiving

Milk or Water? That’s the Question!

Larada Horner-Miller
Woman with turkey - milk

Milk or water? That’s the question my Aunt Willie & Mom argued about for fixing turkey gravy. This Thanksgiving I remembered their good-natured disagreement. Immediately memories flooded me of Thanksgivings past.

When I asked Lin what he wanted to do for Thanksgiving this year, he said, “Let’s cook a turkey!” So, we did! I bought all the ingredients needed (yet missed some), and wondered how I would fare with my hurting foot and leg.

The Week Before Thanksgiving

On Monday we got the turkey out of the freezer and put it in the frig. Then on Tuesday Lin put it in cold water in the sink, changing the water repeatedly.

To cut what I needed to do Thanksgiving Day, I made the cranberry sauce from scratch on Wednesday evening. It was at this point that Mom’s presence overcame me. She taught me how to do this, assuring me that it was quite easy. After Lin faced diabetes a few years ago, I traded out the cup of sugar with a cup of Monk fruit. Yes, I smiled once again at being in the kitchen with her, preparing a holiday meal. I felt her presence at my elbow.

Thanksgiving Day – Milk or Water?

Then on Thanksgiving morning, we got up and played our daily two cribbage games then turned on the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade and watched part of it. I took time away to join my meditation group to ground me for the day. The leader read Mary Oliver’s poem, Gratitude, for the inspirational part before we meditated. I loved all the questions Oliver asked in her poem then answered with nature:

  • What did you notice?
  • What did you hear?
  • When did you admire?
  • What astonished you?
  • What would you like to see again?
  • What was most tender?
  • What was most wonderful?
  • What did you think was happening?
Gratitude by Mary Oliver

Throughout the day, I asked myself, “What did you notice?”

Then I peeled the potatoes and covered them in water. I prepared the green bean casserole and grabbed a shower and dressed.

For years, we have cooked our turkey in a cooking bag in a roaster. It cuts the cooking time considerably and the meat is moist. My cousin, Jan, taught me this trick.

So we got the turkey in the roaster at 11:00 AM. I bought a twenty-pound turkey (yes, just us two but we love turkey!) So, it wouldn’t be done until about 2:00 PM.

Because of that, I delayed cooking the potatoes to mash, but when I did get started my time management worked out beautifully.

Next, I cooked the sweet potatoes in the microwave. You may wonder why! Mom died in March 2013, so I cooked my first Christmas dinner in years that year. I had bought fresh sweet potatoes and we went to Branson. I hate canned sweet potatoes! So, I had to figure how to do them from scratch. So I cooked the sweet potatoes in the microwave, peeled them afterwards. Yes, they were hot and I had to be careful not to burn my hands.

So that tradition started in 2013 for me! And I have continued over the years to this year. After cooking and peeling them, I cut them up and prepared the dish for candied yams, but I forgot to buy the marshmallows to top the dish. I told Lin and he found a container of marshmallow crème in our pantry and I used the crème and it worked.

Then I cooked the potatoes and mashed them. Lin likes them sort of lumpy, so I left them that way.

I put the sweet potatoes and green bean casserole in the oven at the same time. Then I cooked the stuffing (yes, I use Stove Top), but I grilled celery to add something extra to the stuffing. The first batch I grilled, I burned, so I did a second and they turned out great.

I felt Mom smiling. She never judged any mistake I made in the kitchen.

Mom & Aunt Willie - milk
Mom & Aunt Willie

But Mom really came to mind front and center when I got to the gravy. Yes, I made the gravy from scratch. Mom and Aunt Willie had a fun argument going on in their later years: was it water or milk you add to gravy? Being raised by the same mother, this often made me shake my head and wonder—why the question?

As I made the gravy, I asked, “Water or milk?” and laughed. I heard Mom’s sweet laughter echo around the kitchen. I have such fond memories of those two elder ladies joyfully arguing about that question.

Me & Mon - milk
Me & Mom

As I finished up the preparation of the gravy, I stepped back so thankful for all the precious Thanksgiving memories I have: the water/gravy question, fun hours sitting around our round table in Branson, Colorado playing games and laughing, and trips to the Boulder Dinner Theater with Mom and Dad.

Finally,

Yes, Mom joined me in my kitchen this Thanksgiving—in my spirit and in my soul!

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Published by Larada Horner-Miller

Larada Horner-Miller is a poet, essayist and accomplished multi-genre author who holds a bachelor’s degree in English, with a minor in Spanish and a master of education degree in Integrating Technology into the Classroom. She is the accomplished author of eight award-winning biographies, historical fiction, memoir, and poetry works and three audiobook’s plus three self-published cookbooks. Her most recent book, Was It a Dream?: Navigating Life’s Journey Through Poetry is a finalist in the Global Book Awards. As is our book released last year, Hair on Fire: A Heartwarming & Humorous Christmas Memoir. Horner-Miller has also been a past national presenter at the Women Writing the West Conference and is currently the creator of Memoir Workshops for others who want to share their family’s legacies through words. Larada and her husband, Lin, enjoy being nestled in the mountains above Albuquerque, New Mexico, near the village of Tijeras. When not writing books, this passionate, energetic, and enthusiastic woman loves to spend time kicking up her heels at square dancing gatherings, traveling, knitting, and reading. As co-manager of her family’s southeastern Colorado ranch, she enjoys spending time exploring her family’s historic ranch and reminiscing with her brother and his children about their mom, dad, and granddad.

2 thoughts on “Milk or Water? That’s the Question!”

  1. Three years ago, a friend of mine called from a rather small town to invite me to Thanksgiving dinner. On Thanksgiving. Since she had never had a Thanksgiving Day off work before, she honestly didn’t know that the stores were closed, so I left the so-called big city with an invitation and a shopping list. Two convenience stores and one gas station later, I had everything except the pie crust, so she turned the pie into a pudding instead. I can’t remember what we ate now, but it was wonderful. Weird but wonderful. Good thing that’s not going to become a tradition!

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