Category: Holidays

Milk or Water? That’s the Question!
family · My Thoughts · Thanksgiving

Milk or Water? That’s the Question!

Larada Horner-Miller2 Comments
Woman with turkey - milk

Milk or water? That’s the question my Aunt Willie & Mom argued about for fixing turkey gravy. This Thanksgiving I remembered their good-natured disagreement. Immediately memories flooded me of Thanksgivings past.

When I asked Lin what he wanted to do for Thanksgiving this year, he said, “Let’s cook a turkey!” So, we did! I bought all the ingredients needed (yet missed some), and wondered how I would fare with my hurting foot and leg.

The Week Before Thanksgiving

On Monday we got the turkey out of the freezer and put it in the frig. Then on Tuesday Lin put it in cold water in the sink, changing the water repeatedly.

To cut what I needed to do Thanksgiving Day, I made the cranberry sauce from scratch on Wednesday evening. It was at this point that Mom’s presence overcame me. She taught me how to do this, assuring me that it was quite easy. After Lin faced diabetes a few years ago, I traded out the cup of sugar with a cup of Monk fruit. Yes, I smiled once again at being in the kitchen with her, preparing a holiday meal. I felt her presence at my elbow.

Thanksgiving Day – Milk or Water?

Then on Thanksgiving morning, we got up and played our daily two cribbage games then turned on the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade and watched part of it. I took time away to join my meditation group to ground me for the day. The leader read Mary Oliver’s poem, Gratitude, for the inspirational part before we meditated. I loved all the questions Oliver asked in her poem then answered with nature:

  • What did you notice?
  • What did you hear?
  • When did you admire?
  • What astonished you?
  • What would you like to see again?
  • What was most tender?
  • What was most wonderful?
  • What did you think was happening?
Gratitude by Mary Oliver

Throughout the day, I asked myself, “What did you notice?”

Then I peeled the potatoes and covered them in water. I prepared the green bean casserole and grabbed a shower and dressed.

For years, we have cooked our turkey in a cooking bag in a roaster. It cuts the cooking time considerably and the meat is moist. My cousin, Jan, taught me this trick.

So we got the turkey in the roaster at 11:00 AM. I bought a twenty-pound turkey (yes, just us two but we love turkey!) So, it wouldn’t be done until about 2:00 PM.

Because of that, I delayed cooking the potatoes to mash, but when I did get started my time management worked out beautifully.

Next, I cooked the sweet potatoes in the microwave. You may wonder why! Mom died in March 2013, so I cooked my first Christmas dinner in years that year. I had bought fresh sweet potatoes and we went to Branson. I hate canned sweet potatoes! So, I had to figure how to do them from scratch. So I cooked the sweet potatoes in the microwave, peeled them afterwards. Yes, they were hot and I had to be careful not to burn my hands.

So that tradition started in 2013 for me! And I have continued over the years to this year. After cooking and peeling them, I cut them up and prepared the dish for candied yams, but I forgot to buy the marshmallows to top the dish. I told Lin and he found a container of marshmallow crème in our pantry and I used the crème and it worked.

Then I cooked the potatoes and mashed them. Lin likes them sort of lumpy, so I left them that way.

I put the sweet potatoes and green bean casserole in the oven at the same time. Then I cooked the stuffing (yes, I use Stove Top), but I grilled celery to add something extra to the stuffing. The first batch I grilled, I burned, so I did a second and they turned out great.

I felt Mom smiling. She never judged any mistake I made in the kitchen.

Mom & Aunt Willie - milk
Mom & Aunt Willie

But Mom really came to mind front and center when I got to the gravy. Yes, I made the gravy from scratch. Mom and Aunt Willie had a fun argument going on in their later years: was it water or milk you add to gravy? Being raised by the same mother, this often made me shake my head and wonder—why the question?

As I made the gravy, I asked, “Water or milk?” and laughed. I heard Mom’s sweet laughter echo around the kitchen. I have such fond memories of those two elder ladies joyfully arguing about that question.

Me & Mon - milk
Me & Mom

As I finished up the preparation of the gravy, I stepped back so thankful for all the precious Thanksgiving memories I have: the water/gravy question, fun hours sitting around our round table in Branson, Colorado playing games and laughing, and trips to the Boulder Dinner Theater with Mom and Dad.

Finally,

Yes, Mom joined me in my kitchen this Thanksgiving—in my spirit and in my soul!

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Gratitude, Thanksgiving & Immigrants!
family · Gratitude · My Thoughts · Thanksgiving

Gratitude, Thanksgiving & Immigrants!

Larada Horner-MillerLeave a comment
Happy Thanksgiving - gratitude

Gratitude has become a key ingredient in my life plan, and Thanksgiving reminds me to be grateful for all my blessings. Today I look back at my humble beginnings from an illegal immigrant!

Gratitude & First Thanksgiving

As a child, I remember being taught how the pilgrims celebrated that first Thanksgiving with the Natives. They shared food and probably were saved by the produce from the Natives.

So, anytime I think of that original Thanksgiving, I picture a peaceful picturesque setting with those first “illegal” immigrants eating with those who they had invaded.

Gratitude & My Family Story

All my life, I relished any time my mom told the story of how her great-grandfather Frank Joe Ulbig immigrated here from Germany (Prussia) as a stowaway in a ship, so there’s no record of his entrance into the United States. I checked Ellis Island when I was there in the 90s—no record. Mom had checked Ellis Island and New Orleans long distance—no record there either.

War raged in Prussia at the time Ulbig immigrated, unsettled times for that part of the world.

“The Franco-Prussian War or Franco-German War, often referred to in France as the War of 1870, was a conflict between the Second French Empire and the North German Confederation led by the Kingdom of Prussia.”

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Franco-Prussian_War

Probably about twenty years old, Ulbig must have heard he would be welcomed in the United States but didn’t have the money to pay passage across the ocean. His only option: stowaway!

What if Prussia and Austria swapped? – Europe in 1860
byu/CaptainCakeEater inimaginarymaps

I think Mom said both him and future wife, Tresia Sieger, immigrated illegally as stowaways.

Before, this story seemed romantic and far off. Recently, it has taken a different spin for me! I can imagine Ulbig’s despair and urgent need to leave Prussia and get to the United States.

Mom & Travel to Eastern Europe

During the 70s, Mom really got into genealogy for both sides of our family. She researched and sent letters, doing all her research prior to the internet. Since then, I have an ancestry.com account and love the resources they provide.

After my dad’s death in 1996, Mom realized a dream-come-true. In 1999, we talked about a trip to Germany. I gave her the travel brochure and let her decide which trip we would take. Here I thought we would go to Germany only. She selected a trip to Eastern Europe which included Germany, Poland, Czech Republic, Slovakia, Hungary, and Austria.

Later I realized why she chose that—her great-grandfather was from Prussia which was eastern Germany, so she wasn’t satisfied to just visit Germany. She had spent countless hours trying to find more information about this mysterious man.

A Serendipity in Berlin

When we got to Berlin, the previous capital of Prussia, we did the city tour, then we went out in the city on our own walking. When we came upon a phone booth, I looked in and it had a phone book, so we found the name, Ulbig, and she squealed! We saw almost a whole page of Ulbigs in Berlin. Could they all be relatives? How could we connect with them?

As she looked at it and longed to connect, I said, “I don’t know enough German to call anyone there.”

She sighed and turned and walked away, not thinking about possibilities!

“How about we tear that page out of the phone book?” I asked sheepishly.

“We can’t do that!” she exclaimed, then laughed because she knew her daughter.

“Oh, yes we can!” I laughed as I tore that page out of the book carefully. I handed it to her. She folded it methodically and put it in a safe place in the purse.

When we got home to family and friends, she proudly showed off her favorite souvenir from her trip—a page torn out of a phone book from Berlin, Germany with a list of Ulbigs.

Gratitude & Immigrants Today

A couple months ago, I told someone opposed to my political views this story. He looked at me in disdain which didn’t shock me. He couldn’t celebrate my story.

I’m proud of my heritage and the tenacity they showed to make their dreams come true, buck the odds and do whatever they had to do to get here. They ended up in Montague, Texas. My side of the family moved north to northern New Mexico and the rest is history.

Finally,

Yes, I have a strong affinity for immigrants. I have gratitude for what I’ve experienced in this country. I try to take some time on Thanksgiving Day to remember what this country has as its foundation—our founding fathers were illegal immigrants that took this country by storm. And today, I celebrate my strong lineage, dedicated to a new life and new future in a distant land.

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A Peaceful 4th of July
family · Holidays · Memories · Mom · My Thoughts

A Peaceful 4th of July

Larada Horner-MillerLeave a comment
Lin's luscious garden - a peaceful 4th of July

I enjoyed a peaceful 4th of July morning this year, sitting in Lin’s luscious garden doing my daily Quiet Time which includes Julia Cameron’s practice of “Morning Pages”—three handwritten pages of what’s going on in my life. Then I joined online an international meditation group I belong to and enjoyed an inspirational poem, “Lady Liberty,” then twenty minutes of meditation and then an opportunity to list three ways I saw God working in my life during the last twenty-four hours.

Peaceful, calm! For sure! Normally, I sunbath, starting in May, but I’ve had some health issues the last couple years and haven’t, so I decided it was time to enjoy the sun again. I donned my patriotic two piece red, white and blue bathing suit and soaked up the sun.

For lunch, Lin grilled hot dogs, then we drove to Albuquerque to drop by garden club friends of ours and enjoyed a lively conversation there and a lovely garden full of blooming lilies. This gardener has been one of Lin’s mentors over the years.

Instead of Fireworks

For the evening, we had decided a couple days ahead of time we would watch the movie, “Oppenheimer.” In May, I heard the co-author of the book, Kai Bird, talk at the Santa Fe International Literary Festival. His comments ignited my interest, so I bought the book there. Then in the last month, the movie came up on Prime, so we decided to watch it.

Peaceful, calm—it wasn’t! What a sad, horrible treatment of a man who should have been deemed a national hero but the insane “Red Scare” and McCarthyism grilled and grilled him. Watching his metamorphoses, he had to deal with what he had done by being the “Father of the Atomic Bomb.”

“. . .after World War II, Oppenheimer lobbied vigorously for international control of atomic energy, proposing that the Soviet Union and the United States submit to a supranational organization designed to allow sharing of peaceful atomic energy information while keeping weapons development to a monitored minimum.”

https://www.atomicarchive.com/history/hydrogen-bomb/page-15.html 

At the end, both Lin and I felt he got the raw end of the deal. Robert Downey Junior played Lewis Strauss superbly and won an Oscar for his performance. At first, I didn’t want to believe him as a villain because I like him so much, but in the end Downey Junior had us cheering when he lost his appointment he sought to be in Eisenhower’s cabinet.

So, no fireworks—no outlandish party with insane behavior! Just a mindful consideration of a piece of our country’s sad history.

As a Child—Peaceful?

When we were younger, I anticipated the first fireworks of the evening: sparklers that we could draw figure eights in the black sky around us. Then all the families in our little country town pooled their money and bought fireworks for us to enjoy, mostly bottle rockets in the 50s. But they lit up the sky and thrilled the gathered celebrants and me! It seemed magical.

As a child on this celebratory day, I focused on fireworks—Black Cat firecrackers my uncle and aunt brought from New Mexico to us in Colorado because they were illegal there, not peaceful! It fact, that was the farthest thing from my mind—I wanted explosions, noise, family around and fireworks.

Many years, our family and friends gathered and picnicked at the Folsom Falls during the day. I always wore my tennis shoes in the water because of the crawdads. I knew they’d bite my toes. Then we returned home for our firework display.

Cuchara, Colorado As an Adult—Peaceful?

Cuchara, Colorado on the 4th of July - peaceful
Cuchara, Colorado on the 4th of July

Later over the years, Mom, my brother and I went to Cuchara, Colorado for the 4th of July, a small town in southern Colorado that celebrates this day with a short parade, live music with lots of families and dogs (the Dog Bar encourages people to bring their dogs.). What a cool respite on a hot July day.

Pictures in Cuchara, Colorado - peaceful
Mom, my brother and I 2010
My mom dancing in the Dog Bar
Mom, my brother and I 2011

First, it was Mom, my brother and I who enjoyed this mountain retreat, starting 2010—cooler weather, fun people and great music. We had so much fun the first time with some rowdy Texan women dancing in the Dog Bar, we had to go back the next year.

Larada playing putt-putt golf - peaceful
Larada playing putt-putt golf

After Mom died, my brother, Lin and I kept up the tradition of going to Cuchara, playing putt-putt golf and dancing at the Dog Bar.

Lin and I at Cuchara, Colorado - peaceful
Lin and I at Cuchara, Colorado

Then my brother’s youngest daughter and her family joined us there. We played putt-putt golf and enjoyed the mountain getaway.

Red River, New Mexico As an Adult—Peaceful?

My niece and I all dressed up for the 4th of July - peaceful
My niece and I all dressed up for the 4th of July

In 2018, we moved this celebration to Red River, New Mexico and found out they had more fun activities for my niece’s two young sons. We also had the privilege of attending a Michael Martin Murphy dance/concert at the Mother Lode bar.

Michael Martin Murphy at the Mother Lode - peaceful
Michael Martin Murphy at the Mother Lode

Branson, Colorado As an Adult—Peaceful?

As for so many, the pandemic changed everything, so we stayed away from the mountain resorts where there would be a lot of people gathering. In 2021, my brother’s two daughters brought their families to Branson, Colorado and we went out on the ranch and shot off our fireworks.

Fireworks on our ranch - peaceful
Fireworks on our ranch

For the last couple years, Lin and I have stayed home—peaceful and calm. But I still remember those family-filled holidays with loved ones and am thankful for the memories.

Finally,

This 4th of July in Lin’s garden and being with him felt good—the right way to celebrate this patriotic day. Peaceful and calm has become something I enjoy these days.

How about you? What did you do for this holiday?

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This Tumbleweed Landed audiobook cover - peaceful

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Let Me Tell You a Story audiobook cover - peaceful

Hair on Fire: A Heartwarming & Humorous Memoir Audiobook

Hair on Fire: A Heartwarming & Humorous Christmas Memoir audiobook cover - peaceful

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Mary Magdalene Ends Women’s History Month
Christianity · Easter · My Thoughts · Spirituality

Mary Magdalene Ends Women’s History Month

Larada Horner-MillerLeave a comment
Mary Magadalene
Saint Mary Magdalene, circa 1524. Creator: Bernardino Luini. (Photo by Heritage Art/Heritage Images via Getty Images)

Mary Magdalene isn’t a personal woman friend, but how apropos to end International Women’s History Month with her. So, I changed my original mission of focusing on personal women friends to feature her this Easter day.

Happy Easter! Yes, I had heard her name before and read about her in the gospels, but who was she?

“Mary Magdalene is probably one of the most versatile and controversial people in the Bible.
She’s been seen as the sorrowful sinner, the Apostle to the Apostles, Jesus’s wife/girlfriend, a guardian of secret knowledge, a chaste saint, a feminist icon, and a scandalous woman who is healed and repents.”

https://www.christepiscopalbing.com/who-was-mary-magdalene/

The Gospels mention her by name thirteen times! Mary Magdalene plays a major role in today’s gospel reading from John 20:1-18, so that’s why I wanted to focus on her. Early that first Easter morn, Mary Magdalene ventured to the tomb with two other women, Mary the mother of James, and Salome to bring spices to anoint Jesus’ body.

“The main reason a dead body was anointed with spices was to control the smell of decomposition. Jews did not practice embalming, and the funeral spices were a way to help minimize unpleasant odors. The spices the women brought to Jesus’ tomb were intended to eliminate such an odor and honor the body of Christ.”

https://www.gotquestions.org/anointing-spices.html

Empty Tomb & Jesus Leaving the Tomb
Empty Tomb
Jesus Leaving the Tomb

When they arrived, to their surprise, someone had rolled away the gigantic stone. I wonder how they planned to get into the tomb in the first place. Obviously, this band of women wouldn’t let a little thing like a big stone stop them from honoring Jesus’ body. But what now?

Where were the men, the disciples? Sleeping in? So, Mary Magdalene and company ran back and got Peter and John. The two disciples and the women raced to the tomb and found it empty, except for the linen cloth Jesus’ body was wrapped in and the kerchief that had been on His head. The two men left without any answers, wondering what all this meant.

Mary Magdalen cires

But Mary Magdalene stayed and received a major blessing with her persistence. She wept, she cried, and peeked into the tomb one last time. Again, another surprise—two angels appeared and she questioned them. Then because she stayed and didn’t leave, Mary Magdalene became the first to witness the risen Jesus.

Jesus - Mary Magdalene

At first, she didn’t recognize him, but when He spoke her name, she immediately knew it was Him. Of course, she wanted to hug Him! He was dead! He had come back to life! Thoughts raced through her head—I saw him on the cross three days ago. The Roman guard pierced His side, but here He is!

As she went to grab Him, Jesus warned her to not hold on. So what did she do? Again, Mary Magdalene raced to the disciples to tell them she had seen Jesus alive—the first witness of the resurrected Jesus!

As I pondered this story in church this morning, I realized God honored Mary Magdalene’s dedication in going to the tomb early that first Easter so long ago, her persistence in staying at the tomb in her grief and confusion, and her resilience in sharing the Good News about Jesus with the disciples.

Where would Christianity be today if she had trudged back with Peter and John and missed her opportunity to see the Risen Lord? To witness his resurrected body? To share with the disciples his resurrection?

Mary Magdalene’s message for me: Stay committed to my heart’s dedications. She reminds me to honor my grief and confusion any time by standing still where I am and not running away and then my God will share a serendipitous moment with Jesus.

Jesus is Alive! - Mary Magdalene

I hope your Easter has been blessed and that Mary Magdalene takes on a more meaningful role in your life today. So often, so many cultures today disparaged women around the world today, but this proves to me that my God believes women have an equal place in the world—He had a woman be the first witness of the Resurrected Jesus. That says a lot! And who can disagree with God?

Lastly, my book cover for Hair on Fire: A Heartwarming & Humorous Christmas Memoir, won 1st place in the March nonfiction book cover contest on AllAuthors.com.  Thanks to all who supported me this month by voting on each round! I know I emailed you and posted on all my social media sites many times, but it worked—because of you!

Hair on Fire - 1st Place Book Cover Winner - Mary Magdalene

Enjoy my recent interview on the podcast, The Writing Table

Hair on Fire: A Heartwarming & Humorous Christmas Memoir

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