Friends · Life Lessons · My Thoughts · Women

Are Women Friends Important ?: Let’s Celebrate International Women’s Day!

International Women's Day

How important are women friends to you? That’s has been rolling around in my head all day as I get notifications on my phone that today is International Women’s Day! Here’s what I think!

My whole life my mom had women friends that she counted on. At first, there was Mokey McMillan, the wife of my dad’s best friend, Roy McMillan. Moving out to a small ranching community, Mokey welcomed her as a newlywed and helped her learn the ropes in a small tight-knit community.

Later, Helen Waldroup became one of the women Mom confided in—a best friend. They worked side-by-side at many events in Branson. They gave each other perms and spent hours together, just visiting. I watched this relationship and marveled.

As Mom grew older, Betty Clark and Rose Ward were women she depended on. Betty lived across the street, so they visited each other easily, sharing recipes and kitchen ingredients when needed. Rose sat on the porch with Mom, drinking beer or Tequila Rose and toasting people as they drove by. She kept up friendships to the end.

When her dear sister, Willa Urbanoski, moved closer to her, they became inseparable, enjoying trips to town to shop or times together laughing and reminiscing about their earlier lives.

Mom showed me her whole life the value of women friends.

As a child and young adult, I had girlfriends who hold special places in my memory. Kay McMillan and I were the two girls in our four-person class. We started kindergarten together and went on to share a room for the first semester of our freshman year at Trinidad State Junior College.

I would also add Kay’s sister, Mona, and Jill Clark to my list of girlfriends in my growing up years. But I also had other girlfriends: Janie Gilstrap, Audrey Green and Georgia Anne Doherty. And one of my original girlfriends was my first cousin Joanne Doherty who I spent many holidays and family gatherings with!

When I moved to Loveland, Colorado in the mid-70s, these women beauticians welcomed me into the beauty salon world there: Barb Long and her daughter, Cindy. Cindy became my party-partner during a crazy time of my life, but she accepted me totally.

When I went to the university at 28 years old, Eloise Keeney became a mainstay after a tumultuous divorce. We both were English majors and met in the computer lab for the English department where we worked. I laughed at our size difference: she was near six feet tall; me a short five foot three. Her hilarious humor kept me going through this major life change.

Rhonda Sandoval, my teammate at Washington Middle School, has stayed one of the key women in my life since 1991. Also, Rebecca Betzen! We taught together and have been life-long friends! In fact, we had lunch last Thursday with Rhonda’s mother to keep in touch after my move.

Rhonda has gone through the loss of my parents with me; Rebecca, the loss of my mom. In fact, these two women appeared surprisingly at my mom’s funeral in Trinidad, Colorado —about 200 miles from Albuquerque. That’s the kind of women they are and the friendship we have.

My Wedding to Lin & My Women Friends

Our Wedding Party - women

When Lin and I married, our wedding was totally unconventional. He had two best men! I had eleven women stand up with me: Lynn Hafer, Nora Creed, Freddie Franks, Mary Jo Smith, Christy Ortega, Rhonda Sandoval, Rebecca Betzen, Sheri Pastian, Cecilia Pounds, Lorraine Hogan and Carolyn Schaeffer.

All of these women played an important role in my life over the years through traveling, square dancing, teaching and recovery.

I Met With Two More Women Last Week

My Raton students - women

Last week, I met with two of students from Raton Middle School who are now in their late 40s—I call them my “Raton Girls.” I taught them in the eighth grade, and we have stayed connected over the years. These two younger women bless me so! What beautiful women they have grown up to be—giving back to the community through their jobs and their lives!

Finally,

Today’s the day to celebrate the women in your life. What a delightful time I’ve had looking at my history of women friends. How rich and what a blessing they all have been! Take a moment to cherish those special relationships you have right now!

If you don’t have one woman you can call right now, make that a priority for this next year and check in with me!


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Was It a Dream?: Navigating Life’s Journey Through Poetry, Book #1 – e-book

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Friends · My Thoughts · square dance

Feed Your Soul with the 19th Annual Hot August Nights!

The Hot August Nights 2025 flyer - feed your soul

Feed your soul! The 19th annual Hot August Nights Square and Round Festival is in the books and we had another success!

After a four-hour nap this afternoon, I’m revived enough to write this blog post. Here’s how the weekend went.

We met Sheri Pastian, the new treasurer, at the Wells Fargo at 10:15 am to add her to the checking account. From there we went to her house and loaded up the supplies for Hot August Nights. Then we had a jovial lunch at Panda Express and met the rest of the committee at the danc e hall to prepare for the weekend.

This year we had only six of our eleven-man committee, but these six worked smoothly all weekend. It was amazing. We blew up beach balls for the Beach Party we do every Friday night. We did minimal decorating with two clusters of helium balloons on each side of the stage. Also, we put up schedules and other necessary signs. Ready or not, here they came!

Our first event started at 3:00 PM—the Welcome dance. Mike Hogan started the afternoon off, and dancers enjoyed him as usual. Mitchell and Chelsea Thompson cued the rounds and warmed the floor up.

Then we broke for dinner.

Our Beach Party square and round dance party has started Hot August Nights for nineteen years and no one gets tired of it. People came dressed in shorts and beach attire and a laid-back attitude.

What a fun night we had dancing to Mike Hogan and Mitchell Thompson. Because of my nerve damage, I didn’t dance every tip and every round dance, but I did a couple tips and more rounds than I thought I could, but when the music started to a favorite round, it was hard to not jump up!

Dancers greeted us warmly and asked lots of questions about our move to Panama. Their care and concerned warmed my heart.

As usual, we ended the evening with root beer floats. I love this because people sit and visit and make new friendships and rekindled old ones. Laughter and hugs filled the hall.

Saturday morning started off with a rounds workshop and then an introduction to waltz. I helped at the registration desk and had a fantastic visit with members of our committee. The round dancers dominated the morning, and usually I would have been on the floor learning the level four cha-cha Mitchell and Chelsea taught. Again I had to refrain from overdoing.

During lunch we enjoyed a hearty conversation with our staff about promoting square and round dancing and their future. Mike, Mitchell and Chelsea shared personal experiences and wisdom. I love this time we’ve created each year to sit and talk with professionals in the field about the two activities I love!

After lunch Mike Hogan started the afternoon off with thirty minutes of High Energy square dancing. I couldn’t participate, but what fun it was! As the time went on, he increased the speed of the music, so the dancers ended up dancing at 150 beats per second.

Watch how Mike stood while calling one of the high energy tips: https://youtube.com/shorts/Rh4dVdv-5eA?feature=share

He ended the session with one of my favorite songs, Fisherman’s Luck.

Then we enjoyed an hour of singing calls where we had the pleasure of hearing Mike’s beautiful voice. The afternoon ended with an hour and half of plus workshop. I was able to dance a little and enjoyed the review of different square dance calls and the challenge.

Lin and I ended the afternoon by taking Mike and Denise Hogan out to dinner and talking square dancing more. However, they are close friends of ours, so we enjoyed more conversation about our lives and families.

The Hard Working Hot August Nights Committee - feed my soul
The Hard Working Hot August Nights Committee

I love Saturday evening at our Hot August Nights dance because our committee wears our beautiful club outfit made by Mary Jo Smith. I hadn’t worn a square dance outfit for over a year, so it was a pleasure, even though I’ve gained weight and my pettipants fit too tight!

Early in the evening, we celebrated three birthdays with one man celebrating 89 years! I love the tradition of the birthday celebrants standing up and the other dancers lining up and giving them a hug and a kiss! What fun!

Women lined up to give hugs and kisses to the birthday guys - feed my soul
Women lined up to give hugs and kisses to the birthday guys

Most of the dancers dressed up for the evening, so it was a kaleidoscope of colors. What a wonderful evening we had with great dancing and lots of laughter. I didn’t dance as much as Friday night because my leg hurt. I visited with friends and enjoyed the music and the calling.

Later in the evening, I did danced one tip where the men wore our petticoats. Usually I have an extra petticoat for Lin to wear for this traditional craziness, but they’re all packed up, so when we got into the square, I took mine off right there. When the music started, the hilarity started because some of us changed dance positions dancing the opposite one. I have never laughed so hard in my life—good, clean fun!

For one of the tips, Mike did the calls and Chelsea sang the song—an Adele tune—and it was awesome! https://youtube.com/shorts/8s0sAM2YplQ?feature=share

The night again ended with root beer floats. Mike and Denise entertained a group of us with their disastrous story of their time Mike called for us last and their rental car nightmare. Yes, it was funny today, but not then, I’m sure!

Traditionally Sunday Morning at Hot August Nights is a blast, and it was this morning. Because everyone is tired yet exhilarated by the weekend, the dancers come ready to have fun for the short hour and half session.

This morning, we did scatter promenades, air raid and much more as people laughed and enjoyed the time left in this magical atmosphere of a weekend festival.

Mike, Chelsea and Mitchell continued to inspire all of us with their talents and friendship.

When the time ended, we all received lots of hugs and well wishes. After we cleaned up, we had our traditional feedback meeting where we listed the Pluses for the weekend, the Deltas (what needs improvements) and then the remedies. Mike and Denise joined in, and we gained from their objective observation.

To celebrate our triumph, we ended up at Fuddruckers for lunch and more friendly conversation. I will never forget my farewell to Denise. She said, “Longtime friend” which I loved. It was bittersweet to say goodbye to them because of our deep relationship.

So, folks who don’t square and round dance—you are missing out on deep friendships built on a love for an activity that feeds your soul!

If you’re interested in learning more about square dancing, here’s the place to go: https://livelivelysquaredance.com/


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Age · Friends · My Thoughts

Grumpy or Serene: It’s My Choice! Another Poem!

Grumpy or serene: it’s your choice! As I’ve aged (I’m 70 now; will be 71 in June), I see there’s two types of older people: grumpy or serene and the choice is yours. And I can guarantee you, I don’t want to be seen as grumpy!

I think of the movie, “Grumpy Old Men” starring Walter Matthau, Jack Lemmon and Ann Margaret. And I laugh! Yet those two old men personify “grumpy” to me.

This last week, I had a funeral to go to and saw how someone’s sense-of-humor cracked me up from the grave! Yes, I heard “Prop me up beside the jukebox if I die” at my friend’s graveside service. His personality lived as we laughed and cried. (See my post from last week.)

Then I had another interaction with a friend a year older than me, filled with anger at me for somethings I did years ago. It broke my heart as I read his list of resentments. Right then, I knew and see the contrast—grumpy not serene!

So, I turned to poetry as usual and this poem came up! Let me know what you think!

I’m seventy, turning seventy-one.

            In younger people’s eyes, that’s old.

I used to think seventy old.

But I look at myself in the mirror,

            I take an emotional temperature,

                        And I’m sixteen

In a seventy-year-old body

That can’t go, go, go,

Like before.

I know that most of my life is behind me.

I packed a lot of living in my seventy years.

Yet I anticipate what’s coming ahead

With joy and expectation!

What will seventy-five be like?

            Eighty?

                        Eighty-five?

                                    Ninety?

I have a choice as I face my elder years:

            Grumpy or serene!

I choose serene!

Some of my friends,

My schoolmates,

Same age or a year older or two,

Have chosen grumpy.

I can’t do it!

I can’t go there!

Yes, life has handed me

Disappointments

Heartache

Despair

But I funneled those negative feelings into

Recovery

            Life

            Love

            People

Today I feed my serenity with

            Writing

            Time with Lin

                        In the hot tub

                        Watching movies

                        Traveling

                        Dancing when we can

            Recovery meetings

            Meditation

            Quiet times with my God

            Time with my brother

                        Watching sports

                        Trips to our ranch

                                    Searching for wildlife

                                    Reminiscing about our childhoods

I want my last days here

            To be filled with

                        Laughter

                        Love

                        Travel

                        Dancing

                        Friends

                        Family

I count on more to come,

            More of the good stuff,

Yes, I know weaved into it will be

            Sadness

            Loss

            Trials

But I vow to you now,

Grumpy or serene won’t be a choice,

Because I choose serene!


here’s some reading material to keep my older readers refreshed and serene and my younger reader prepared for your futures:

Here are several May Sarton books I haven’t read but are on my list:


Hair on Fire won 1st place in the March Nonfiction book cover contest on AllAuthors.com - laughter

Enjoy my interview on the podcast, The Writing Table

Hair on Fire: A Heartwarming & Humorous Christmas Memoir

Hair on Fire: A Heartwarming & Humorous Christmas Memoir available in audiobook format at the following places:

~SHOP TODAY FOR YOUR AUTOGRAPHED COPY! Shop at my Etsy Shop or my Shopify Store


Friends · My Thoughts

Laughter & Death: A Paradox?

paradox ahead - Laughter

Laughter and death: a paradox? For sure, but I had an amazing experience this weekend that gave me a different perspective.

On Friday, April 5, I attended George’s funeral in La Junta, Colorado with my brother. Because of his likable personality, I had a feeling the church would be full, so we arrived about thirty minutes early. Pickup trucks lined the street—I was right. As we approached the church’s entry, people milled around at the door. People packed the entryway. Friends and family already filled the sanctuary, so we ended up in the Choir Loft.

What a nice service he had. They had beautiful country and western songs throughout the service like “Wherever You are Tonight” and a traditional one, “Precious Lord, Take My Hand.” A close friend shared stories about George that made us laugh and remember his great sense of humor—also his love for storytelling. The minister shared a short sermon. The service ended with a PowerPoint show with more country-western music.

Then on Saturday, April 6, they planned a graveside service which led me to write the following poem:

Is Death a Laughing Matter?

I stood at the crossroads

            Between life and death.

It happens a lot now

            At 70,

repeatedly.

Yesterday, my brother and I walk by

            His wife’s grave as we walked

                        To George’s graveside service.

I stood near George’s casket

            In the country cemetery

                        Near Branson, Colorado.

I brushed my hand across the edge

            Of the blue smooth metal edge—

Like a familiar touch

            To a friend’s shoulder

                        Standing nearby.

March winds blew

            Across the southeastern Colorado plains,

                        Swirling dust and grit,

                                    With a piercing cold edge,

                                                Adding to my grief.

A sea of faces watched

            The day blow by.

Some familiar—lifelong friends—

            Some not!

I sought out his family.

            I wanted to hug them,

                        To share their sorrow,

                        To touch George through them again.

I met his 89-year-old sister

            I had heard of

                        But didn’t know.

She left Branson the year

            Before I was born.

Excessive strong wind gusts hampered

            The solemn ceremony planned.

A short thoughtful prayer filled the air instead.

Then the music began,

            With somber lyrics,

            Country-western flavor

            Guitars and familiar sounds.

Tears ran down my cheeks.

            Sorrow for the loss

                        Of a dear lifelong friend.

            Sorrow and regrets for

                        No more of his stories.

As the last song started up, I recognized its intro

            And singer, Joe Diffie.

I gasped; in the midst of tears,

            I choked back a chuckle.

The chorus confirmed it: “Prop me up beside

            the jukebox if I die.”

In the howling wind, I strained to hear the first verse,

            But the chorus captured me

                        And everyone there.

Laughter erupted—

            Release

            Appropriate humor

Through her tears, his partner

            Announced,

“George planned it all!”

At that point,

            I laughed;

                        I cried.

The laughter comforted me,

            because

George taught me a meaningful lesson yesterday:

            Tears

            Laughter

            Death

            Life

It fits together,

            Not a paradox,

But life

            Reality!

I witnessed an honest

            Graveside service,

                        Not contrived

                        Solemn

But mixed with

            Laughter and tears.

Isn’t that life?

            Now it’s death for me!

Thank you, George,

George Mitchell - laughter

            Laughter and death mixed,

                        And I walked away smiling

                                    Because of you!


In closing, as I age and continue to lose close friends and family, death has become a hot topic. George’s graveside service helped me get it all in perspective—be sure the celebration of your life reflects who you really are! And for me, poetry captures the essence of any life event!


Hair on Fire won 1st place in the March Nonfiction book cover contest on AllAuthors.com - laughter

Enjoy my interview on the podcast, The Writing Table

Hair on Fire: A Heartwarming & Humorous Christmas Memoir

Hair on Fire: A Heartwarming & Humorous Christmas Memoir available in audiobook format at the following places:

~SHOP TODAY FOR YOUR AUTOGRAPHED COPY! Shop at my Etsy Shop or my Shopify Store