Friends · My Thoughts · square dance

Kathi Raver: Another Woman to Celebrate

Kathi Raver comes to mind as another woman to celebrate during National Women’s History Month, focusing on the women in my history. I end this celebratory month for women with her and her powerful place in my life.

We met in 1995 when she started square dancing with Duke City Singles in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and she became my best girlfriend in the square dance world. We were quite a pair—me five feet three and she a stately five eleven!

One similarity we shared was teaching: I taught my entire career in the middle school. Kathi taught in the middle school and high school. She was a P. E. instructor and coached volleyball and basketball.

Another similarity we both shared: hard-headed and opinionated. Interestingly, these lively traits caused only one disagreement between us.

Katherine (Kathi) Raver was born in Hobbs, New Mexico on May 22, 1950 and had two brothers.

For many years, as an adult, Kathi lived in the South Valley of Albuquerque and enjoyed a large garden. In 1997, her brother built her dream house in the east mountains. She fell in love with the mountains.

When I met Kathi, she had two big dogs and one lap dog, Babe. For many years, she spent the summers in Alaska at an active gold mine. I loved to hear her tales from that faraway place.

Kathi struggled with melanoma twenty years before I met her, went into remission, but it came back when I knew her. I so respected her for how she dealt with its reoccurrence. She continued working and daily gave herself shots. She lost her hair and kept smiling.

Because of her leadership skills, she soon became president of Duke City Singles and chaired the Fling, our spring square and round dance festival. We worked on the Fling for several years together. What a duo we were working on it! Many of the favors she gave us on the committee as a personal thank you were items she had made.

Kathi thanking me on stage for helping with the Single Fling!
Kathi thanking me on stage for helping with the Single Fling!

In 2003, we hosted DAR (Dance-A-Rama) in Albuquerque, New Mexico. It was partially her idea! Kathi, Wanda & Cecelia, three friends, went to Oklahoma City in 2000 for their first DAR, the national singles square dance festival. When they got home, Kathi said to me, “We want to host one here, but you have to chair it.” So, I did it. After our successful event, Kathi and I promised each other we would go into the same nursing home in our twilight years and reminisce about DAR, 03 and all the fun! Sadly, that didn’t happen!

One of my favorite memories of Kathi happened at the Dance-A-Rama we hosted. She hated practical jokes, but I loved them. One of our callers, Mike Bramlett, had started a silly string war the first day of our festival.

Kathi relaxing at DAR03! Not feeling great!
Kathi relaxing at DAR03! Not feeling great!

I encouraged Kathi to join me in spraying him with the silly string while he called. What we did: ran by him and pretended to spray him a couple times, then we unloaded two cans on him. Her musical laughter still rings in my ears. Her contagious laughter always filled the air when she was tickled. And you need to know she was doing chemotherapy then and didn’t feel well when this craziness happened.

Many women pride themselves in having a unique square dance outfit that no one else has. Whenever we were at a festival, Kathi and I looked for look-alike outfits from the vendors—me in the small section and her in the large. When she passed away, we had thirteen outfits alike. What fun we had when we found one in both of our sizes that we both liked. For years, we did an outfit check before a dance weekend to see what we would wear each night.

Kathi and me in poodle skirts she made for our theme dance at the Spring Fling
Kathi and me in poodle skirts she made for our theme dance at the Spring Fling

Also, Kathi made several of my square dance outfits when she was chairing the Fling. She always felt that it helped me out because she liked to sew and I did the computer stuff for us for the Fling.

One year, we went to the TASSD (Texas Area Single Square Dance) festival in Amarillo. Our new club caller, Art Tangen, was one of the callers. We decorated our petty pants on the backside with, “I heart Art!” So, when he called Saturday night in the big hall, we went up in front of the crowd and flipped up our dresses so he could see our devotion. Unknown to Kathi or me, someone took a picture and her bottom appeared in the TASSD newsletter the next month.

When Kathi and I were in a square together, the fun began! We loved to have fun, making noise and enjoying ourselves. She called it, “hooting and hollering.” One of our favorite activities was “touch a quarter,” a call we added some physical contact to, and it became the focus of many of squares we were in.

Kathi measuring an inseam for the 50/50 drawing
Kathi measuring an inseam for the 50/50 drawing

Kathi loved to do the 50/50 pot and measure the inseam of guys to decide how many tickets they received for a set price and kidded with them–it added a lot of fun to any event! Remember, this was a single club and single event!

Me with Kathi and Lin at the Spring Fling
Me with Kathi and Lin at the Spring Fling

Kathi met Lin Miller, a square dancer, in 2003 at Festigal, a square and round dance festival in Gallup, New Mexico, and her single life ended. In 2005, I witnessed Lin asking her to marry him on stage at Festigal. He shocked her and the crowd, but what a beautiful moment. They married August 2005 in Alaska at the gold camp.

We traveled a lot together to Norfolk, Nebraska, to a dance festival to promote DAR 2003. She drove her Tahoe full of women. How she concentrated with all the chatter and laughter is beyond me! Another year, Kathi and I flew to Omaha, Nebraska and spent the night in my ex’s van at a casino, then on to Norfolk the next day. Then another year after DAR 2003, I went with Lin and her to Norfolk, driving all night, laughing at her antics with her GPS.

My ex and I spent many late nights playing cards with Lin and Kathi after dancing at Duke City Singles. We traveled to many festivals and danced together.

In 2008, Kathi, Lin, my ex’s daughter-in-law, and I went on a square dance cruise to Alaska. It was our first cruise, so we were all excited. Kathi and I enjoyed grabbing a hot dog off of the kids’ buffet every time we went through the cafeteria. When we selected excursions, Kathi specifically wanted to do the zipline, which became our favorite excursion.

I became a redhead because of Kathi. In 2007, we stood in line for breakfast at a restaurant in Norfolk, Nebraska. Kathi tapped me on the shoulder and pointed out a fiery red head a few people ahead of us.

“Go ask her what color she uses. You would look great in that color!” So I did! The color’s name: Hot Tamale! I dyed my hair as soon as we got home but went back to my original color after a few months. After my Mom died in 2013, I dyed it that color and have been a redhead ever since—all because of Kathi.

When I divorced my ex in 2008, Kathi went house hunting with me, helping me find a beautiful townhouse ten minutes from the dance hall. When I moved in, she hooked up my gas dryer. Her brother instructed her on how to do it. She climbed behind the dryer–her tall frame barely fitting there—to save me $85!

My heart shattered on November 25, 2009, the day Kathi died. I stood by her bed with Lin, her sister-in-law and other close girlfriends, and witnessed her last breath. Mom and I had visited her a couple of days before at her house. Her death came so quickly.

Here, fourteen years later, I see Kathi every day. Why? Because Lin and I married in 2011 and live in her house! In 2009, Kathi’s cancer returned repeatedly. At a dance festival we started in August, she told a friend of ours, “When I’m gone, I hope Lin and Larada get together. They would make each other happy!” Did she know her time here was ending? Was she prophetic?

Square dancing intertwined our lives together for fourteen years: teachers, dancers, game players and friends. My life will never be the same because of Kathi Raver!


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All available at my website: laradasbooks.com or Amazon.com

~For me, it’s Christmas all year long! Here’s a variety of Christmas greetings from Flippo & Neeca, featuring his song, “When It’s Christmas Time in Texas”: https://youtu.be/mpJCUGffU3A

Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? meme
Grab a cup of coffee and enjoy a chapter!

~My new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? WON the 2022 New Mexico-Arizona Book Awards in the Body, Mind & Spirit Category. Have you bought your copy yet? Vist my website: laradasbooks.com or at Amazon.

Just Another Square Dance Caller: Authorized Biography of Marshall Flippo
Grab an apple and your iPhone and be ready to laugh and cry at the smae time!

~Have you bought a copy of Flippo’s biography yet? Believe it or not—it’s been three years. History and humor go hand-in-hand! Go here for your hardback or paperback: https://www.laradasbooks.com or at Amazon.

Friends · My Thoughts

Rose Ward: Another Woman to Celebrate!

Rose Ward, Today
Rose Ward, Today!

Rose Ward comes to my mind as I continue to celebrate National Women’s History Month, and focus on the women in my history. The other four women I’ve written about this month are gone, but Rose lives on at 94 years old! And she’s quite a woman!

Rose was born December 14, 1928, in a boxcar in Watervale, Colorado, a spot on the railroad lien between Trinchera and Branson, the town I grew up in. Her family lived in a boxcar there for many years because the railroad provided them for the workers. Often, she caught the train to Trinidad there to pay the family bills. Then, moving from the boxcar, they lived in a rock house owned by the Doherty’s for many years in Watervale.

This fascinates me because I have only known Watervale as a ghost town or small settlement.

Rose’s dad worked for the railroad—he started at thirteen and worked for fifty-two years. Watervale was a water stop on the line, a necessity for the railroad cars back then. She had two brothers and two sisters. I, not only grew up with Rose’s children, but her brother Hildo’s, too.

From Watervale, her family moved to Trinchera and bought a bar. She met Tom Ward, her future husband, at her parents’ bar there. She remembers he rode up on horseback, a real cowboy.

Tom asked Rose’s dad if they could marry. On December 20, 1952, Tom came for her, and her mom wasn’t even awake yet. Rose wore a beautiful black dress. As they drove to Raton, New Mexico, to be wed, the car stopped and they had to crank it. She worried about it stopping, but it finally started up and they made it to Raton and wed. The young couple had a second wedding at the Catholic church in Trinchera.

During their young married life, they lived out on a ranch where she had to haul water and use an outhouse. Rose had had enough.

“Take me home,” she told Tom. So, he gave her a sizeable check and took her to her parents.

When she arrived home, she told her dad, “I left Tom.”

He had a quick response, “Go back to Tom!” so away she went.

So, Tom changed ranches, and their next home had another problem—skunks! So, Rose left again to her mother’s. Then, Tom changed ranches again and found a wonderful spot with Tom and Jack Morrow.

Tom and Rose raised four children. Tom passed away on October 23, 2003. They have ten grandchildren, twenty great-grandchildren and two great great-grandchildren. You can see that Rose enjoys her large family by all of her pictures surrounding her in her home today.

Rose also gave foster children a home, so many she can’t count them!

­­Growing up, I remember Rose in my life mostly as the mother of my classmates and friends. I got more acquainted with her after my dad died in 1996. She had moved to Branson, and Mom and Rose became close friends. Yes, they were friends for decades before that, but these two widows became extremely close in the loss of their husbands. Rose helped Mom with her loss of dad. They had daily contact and helped ease the horrible loneliness of women who had spent decades with their husbands.

Rose enjoyed going to our ranch with Mom. Often, these two small powerful women sat on Mom’s front porch facing a busy county road, drinking beer or Tequila Rose and not acting like grieving widows. They both had rascally personalities and fed off of each other. Supporting small town life, they went to school activities together and just had fun together.

Since Mom died in 2013, I try to visit Rose anytime I’m in Branson. We laugh, have ice cream or any of her delicious desserts, and talk about Mom and the gossip of town. Any time Rose reminisces about her childhood or younger life with Tom, I sit back and enjoy the tale. What a different time that was! I can’t imagine Branson without Rose.

What a hard worker Rose has been as long as I have known her, whether it’s cooking up dozens of tamales or cleaning someone’s house. She just offered to clean my house this past week! Amazing!

My husband, Lin, loves to be with Rose, discussing their gardening interests. He also loves to dance with her, as shown in this picture at the Branson-Trinchera Reunion.

Rose and Lin dancing at the Branson-Trinchera Reunion
Lin and Rose Dancing!

Rose defies the stamp of what 94 years old looks like. She lives alone, cooks delicious Mexican delicacies like tamales and sopapillas and still takes care of herself. Each morning she starts her day off with a cup of coffee with her son, then her daughter checks on her in the evenings and provides an evening meal if needed. Her out-of-town family members visit often, and she has pictures up of all her precious children.

She still does embroidery work and likes to keep a jigsaw puzzle going. In the evening, I often catch her watching her favorite Spanish Telenovela, and she has bought each one of my books!

Her laughter, her mischievous twinkle in her eyes and her loving, giving heart makes me choke up here in writing this!

What women in your history make you smile? Tell me about her/them!

In collaboration with Rose’s daughter, Jackie Mock


If you missed my other National Women’s History Month celebrations of four amazing women, here are the links:


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All available at my website: laradasbooks.com or Amazon.com

~For me, it’s Christmas all year long! Here’s a variety of Christmas greetings from Flippo & Neeca, featuring his song, “When It’s Christmas Time in Texas”: https://youtu.be/mpJCUGffU3A

Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? meme - Rose
Grab a cup of coffee and enjoy a chapter!

~My new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? WON the 2022 New Mexico-Arizona Book Awards in the Body, Mind & Spirit Category. Have you bought your copy yet? Vist my website: laradasbooks.com or at Amazon.

Just Another Square Dance Caller: Authorized Biography of Marshall Flippo meme - Rose
A relaxed time with a latte and Flippo!

~Have you bought a copy of Flippo’s biography yet? Believe it or not—it’s been three years. Go here for your hardback or paperback: https://www.laradasbooks.com or at Amazon.

Friends · My Thoughts

Super Bowl LVII is Here!

Football fan? Yes, I am, but my team is not playing in the Super Bowl! My husband’s team is—the Philadelphia Eagles. So, we drove to Phoenix, Arizona to take part in the pre-game NFL Experience. No, we couldn’t afford to go to the game, but the NFL Experience was a blast.

How We ended up in Phoenix?

My brother is a super fan of the Denver Broncos—me too! When the Broncos went to the Super Bowl seven years ago, my brother has a big regret. The big game was in San Diego, California, and he lived in northern California. He regretted not going to their promotional week and has repeated that to me!

So, a month out from the Super Bowl, I warned my husband: The Eagles were winning, the Super Bowl this year is in Phoenix—7 hours away, Lin’s best friend, Bob, lived in Phoenix, and you don’t want to regret it!

When the Eagles won the NFC championship to go to the Super Bowl, I started googling the promotional week. Bob called and the plan fell into place.

Following Bob’s suggestion, I signed up for the NFL Experience on Thursday, February 9, 2023 at 6:00 PM—it was a go! Bob and his wife, Linda, had tickets for Saturday, February 5 and planned to get the lay-of-the-land.

What I Had to Do to Go!

Then I remembered after doing that, I was supposed to go to a church training from Monday to Thursday, the same week. I emailed the leader of that and explained my situation and asked if I could rollover my registration to next year. She replied immediately, saying I could!

Then I texted my pet sitter to see if she could take care of my 20-year-old cat! It was a go!

How It Unfolded

On Wednesday, February 8, 2023, we left home for Phoenix about 10:30 AM. We stopped in Grants, New Mexico for lunch at the Subways. To beginning our journey, I ordered a “Philly Cheese Steak” in honor of the Eagles.

After an uneventful and pleasant trip, we arrived at Bob and Linda’s house about 7:00 PM. We caught up and focused on the big event we faced the next day. They filled us in on what they had learned on Saturday—their day had been great but crowded!

 What the day looked like

Bob & Lin on the back side of the stadium!
Bob & Lin on the back side of the stadium!

On the morning of our big day, Bob toured us around Phoenix. We drove closer to the stadium and pulled in to the back of it and got pictures. After returning to their home for a brief break, we left their house at 3:00 PM, to be sure to get in on time. The couple we were meeting at the Food Court were easy to find.

Bronco repeat Super Bowl ring from 1998.
Broncos’ 1998 Super Bowl ring when they repeated winning!

Our first stop was to see the past Super Bowl rings. The line was long, but Bob and Linda told us the crowd wasn’t as large as Saturday. As we waited, we looked at jeweled helmets displayed by division. How amazing! When we finally moved up in line to see the rings, the size blew me away—so much larger than I could imagine!

Being the Bronco fan, I took pictures of each of our Super Bowl rings, and I also took pictures of the Eagles’ Super Bowl rings, too. Seeing the names of all the football heroes, I loved it!

To fully experience this NFL Experience, it’s participatory. So, all of us tried to throw a football through the letter “O” of a large display of Lowe’s. From there, two of us tried to kick a field goal.

The halls were full of historical displays that we didn’t have time to read. We ended the night in the NFL store, the size of a warehouse. It had three parts: Super Bowl LVII attire, Eagles, and Chiefs attire. I bought Super Bowl LVII clothing: a light jacket, a hat and a t-shirt. My husband stayed in Eagles’ section. What fun!

My Super Bowl hat & shirt!
My Super Bowl hat & shirt!

Finally,

What an amazing experience! I didn’t take any Broncos shirts, but our friends told us on Saturday, fans wore paraphernalia for whatever team they loved! So I borrowed a Broncos’ shirt and Bob, Linda and I supported our Broncos! Of course, Lin proudly wore his Eagles’ stuff!

PS – I had hoped to get this done before the end of the Super Bowl, but I didn’t! The Chiefs won, but I wouldn’t exchange our memories at the NFL Experience in Phoenix for anything!


News, News, News!

A Winter meme of five of my books!
All available at my website: laradasbooks.com or Amazon.com

~For me, it’s Christmas all year long! Here’s a variety of Christmas greetings from Flippo & Neeca, featuring his song, “When It’s Christmas Time in Texas”: https://youtu.be/mpJCUGffU3A

Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? meme
Grab a cup of coffee and enjoy a chapter!

~My new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? WON the 2022 New Mexico-Arizona Book Awards in the Body, Mind & Spirit Category. Have you bought your copy yet? Vist my website: laradasbooks.com or at Amazon.

Just Another Square Dance Caller: Authorized Biography of Marshall Flippo
Baby, it’s cold outside! Read about Flippo inside where it’s warm!

~Have you bought a copy of Flippo’s biography yet? Believe it or not—it’s been three years. Go here for your hardback or paperback: https://www.laradasbooks.com or at Amazon.

Colorado · family · Friends · My Thoughts

A Reunion Reborn!

Last week on Saturday, August 27, 2022, the Branson-Trinchera Reunion saw a rebirth after being canceled for two years because of the pandemic. The creative committee came up with a different format, which attracted younger alumni.

So, this is how the day looked! The celebration started off at Branson’s new amazing football field with two games—first the junior high and then the high school. Many alumni circled the football field to cheer on both teams. We didn’t have football when I was in school. In fact, the football field is where the baseball field used to be!

The senior class manned the concession stand and provided needed refreshments on a hot day. What fun I had talking to old friends in the cafeteria—hugs galore!

After the two school games, there was an alumni flag football game. Several recent graduates stood in front of me and my car during the game, eager to get back on the field. As the high school game drew closer and closer to its finish, they put on their cleats and stretched muscles, ready to get on the field once more. During this game, the festivities began in the gym with an ice cream and dessert social. The committee provided the ice cream; the alumni brought the delicious desserts.

Keeping with tradition, the committee displayed Tom Cummins’ amazing historical photo collection and land plats. Many alumni with their families strolled by the photos, and I heard exclamations and shouts when someone recognized a relative.

The atmosphere of lifelong friendships and storytelling filled the air. What a pleasant experience! We only had a few “ole timers,” but people clustered around them to show their love and respect. The sad truth—we don’t have many “ole timers” left!

Kaylinn Gilstrap, a professional photographer, added an art show to the festivities, with its opening reception on August 13, 2022 from 3:00—6:00 PM and its closing reception coinciding with the reunion from 5:00—7:00 PM. This art show added quite an artistic flair to the traditional reunion. Many people ventured up to the old County Garage building to view the amazing artwork from many local artists and alumni.

I served on this committee for about twenty-five years, and we had seen a major decline in attendance. The “ole timers” were passing away. Many alumni from the 60s, 70s and 80s, for whatever reason, chose not to attend the reunion, and I don’t understand why. I love the fact that we had it this year—maybe different, but we had it.

When I first saw the flyer announcing a change of date and format, I have to admit I was skeptical. I couldn’t see how our elderly alumni could attend the football games, then stay for the social time with ice cream and desserts. I thought it would be too long! It worked!

Finally, it wasn’t the old format, but is that so bad? This innovative committee worked hard to provide the event we all love—a time to get together with family and friends. You can’t beat that.   

And now looking towards 2023 and the future. Next year we will celebrate 100 years for the Branson school. What a time to celebrate! (The black-and-white picture is the original Branson School!)


~WATCH MY NEW INTERVIEW on Douglas Coleman’s show dated August 5, 2022.

~MY FIRST AUDIOBOOK IS AVAILABLE: Go to Audible to buy my first audiobook, Let Me Tell You a Story. I’m working on Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? but have gotten stalled with shingles.

~Do you listen to podcasts? Here are three podcasts with interviews about my new book & some Flippo stories:

Just Another Square Dance Caller: Authorized Biography of Marshall Flippo meme. Reunion
Grab a last drink on the beach with Flippo & enjoy!

~Have you bought a copy of Flippo’s biography yet? Believe it or not—it’s been two years. Go here for your hardback or paperback: https://www.laradasbooks.com or at Amazon.

~For me, it’s Christmas all year long! Here’s a variety of Christmas greetings from Flippo & Neeca, featuring his song, “When It’s Christmas Time in Texas”: https://youtu.be/mpJCUGffU3A

~Wish You Were Here: A Novel by Jodi Picoult, one of my favorite authors, deals with the COVID pandemic in fiction as opposed to my nonfiction book. Check it out! Interesting story!

Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better meme. Reunion
Read, reflect and respond!

~I’m not afraid of tough subjects like the coronavirus. Yes, I get people are tired of hearing about it, but. . . Visit my website to find out about my new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? and my other five books and three cookbooks: https://laradasbooks.com

Baby boomer · family · Friends · My Thoughts

Sixty-nine tomorrow—It’s my birthday!

Happy birthday - sixty-nine

I turn sixty-nine years-old tomorrow and wonder about how quickly I got here! Let me ponder life at the end of my sixth decade.

At each major birthday in my life, I’ve advanced easily, without regret or any desire to be younger and go backwards. I have always felt age was an attitude and looked forward to the future with anticipation! Often, I still feel sixteen inside!

Turning Thirty

When I moved from twenty-nine to thirty, my family gathered together at my parent’s home in Branson and celebrated with a watermelon (crepe paper around it). Watermelons have always been my favorite fruit and my young nephew giggled as he presented it to me. They also gave me a survival kit for me that included a pair of my grandma’s underwear (see picture above) and a set of false teeth. And then my Aunt Willie added to the festivities and decorated a cake which said, “One foot on the grave and one on a banana peel!”

Turning Sixty

Sadly, when I turned sixty, Mom had just died, so my heart broke on my birthday because I found out she had big plans for my big birthday that year. But I enjoyed being with Lin, my brother and Aunt Willie. Mom always made birthdays memorable, and Lin continues to do that.

Turning Sixty-Nine

My beautiful birthday bouqet - sixty-nine
Beautiful birthday bouquet from Lin

Yesterday morning, Lin brought me a beautiful bouquet to start my birthday celebration; he said! Last night he forewarned me I needed to be dressed and ready to leave here at 5:15 PM for dinner tomorrow night—mysterious and so much fun!

At sixty-nine, I have had an amazing life, filled with much heartache and so much joy. Isn’t that what many people experience in this life? Last November, I came up with a resounding motto when I took part in a blog challenge where I posted blogs daily for the month of November. That motto is “a baby boomer with a purpose.”

You might wonder what that motto means to me. When it hit me so sharply last year, I felt deep down that described who I am. Yes, I’m a baby boomer, and just because I’m a designated “Senior Citizen,” I’m not done!

I’m not done with

  • Challenging myself—I continue as a lifelong learner.
  • Growth—My Christian beliefs grow daily. My spiritual life expands.
  • Adventure—In Lin, I have the perfect life partner to look at life as an adventure.
  • Writing—I’m working on my seventh book and have three poetry books and a fiction in the queue.
  • Traveling—Lin and I have two cruises planned for this year and more trips for 2023.
  • Dancing—I will dance ‘til I die because Harold and Elva Horner were my dancing parents!

So, as I face the end of my 60s, I look back and marvel. Yes, I have had several health issues over these last nine years, but I have had so many blessings. And I choose to focus on the blessings—my late-in-life writing career, my delightful, dear husband, my brother and family ranch and my exceptional family and friends. During these last nine years, I have hundreds of hilarious memories with each of these people and on our family ranch.

So, yes, as a part of being fully alive, I take part in a variety of sites in the social media world. On LinkedIn.com, I met another senior with a purpose, Idessa Toney, whose website, Seniors with a Purpose, and her YouTube channel, captured my attention. Idessa and I share a passion for living life now, no matter what age. Be sure and visit her website.

As much as I love my parents, I remember them so old at sixty-nine. Is that true or my perception only? My dad had breathing issues, and he started downhill about this age. He died at seventy-eight. At sixty-nine, my mom had been a widow for a year, burdened with the loss of her life partner. I had the privilege of being closely connected with her until her death at eighty-four. Yes, I feel much younger than I remember them to be!

Finally,

Tomorrow I age one year, but I look forward to my last year in my 60s. I trust my God to provide a memorable, fun-filled year. Then, look out 70s, because I know they offer adventure, life and surprises. I opt for it all!

How do you feel about aging? Do you dread a certain age? Do you have a motto?



~WATCH MY NEW INTERVIEW on Chat & Spin Radio, Friday, June 24 at 1:00 PM. Join us for a lively discussion of my books!

~MY FIRST AUDIOBOOK IS AVAILABLE: Go to Audible to buy my first audiobook, Let Me Tell You a Story. I’m working on Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? but have gotten stalled with shingles.

~Do you listen to podcasts? Here are three podcasts with interviews about my new book & some Flippo stories:

Just Another Square Dance Caller: Authorized Biography of Marshall Flippo meme

~Have you bought a copy of Flippo’s biography yet? Believe it or not—it’s been two years. Go here for your hardback or paperback: https://www.laradasbooks.com or at Amazon.

~For me, it’s Christmas all year long! Here’s a variety of Christmas greetings from Flippo & Neeca, featuring his song, “When It’s Christmas Time in Texas”: https://youtu.be/mpJCUGffU3A

Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? meme

~What happened to you in 2020-2021 during the coronavirus pandemic? Do you care? Are you on a spiritual path? Do you want to heal from the horrible effects of the pandemic of 2020? Visit my website to find out about my new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? and my other five books and three cookbooks: https://laradasbooks.com

Dancing · family · Friends · Holidays · My Thoughts

New Year’s Eve Memories & Shenanigans!

Happy New Year Ev'es

New Year’s Eve 2021 is here! I always get nostalgic thinking of past New Year’s Eves, so I’d like to share some with you.

New Year’s Eve With Bub & Lela

My brother, Bub, and his wife, Lela were my favorite New Year’s Eve partiers! For a couple of years, we went out to a bar in Clearlake Oaks, California and danced to country and western music. They followed one band and became good friends with the whole band and their spouses, so it felt like family.

My sister-in-law, the perfect playmate, dressed up with me, and we sprayed glitter in our hair and out the door we went. After doing that a couple of years, we became known as the “Glitter Girls.”

When the bar closed, we often went to someone’s house to continue the party—being in our early thirties, we had the energy to stay up late, drink a lot and keep going. One year, we came home after the party at someone’s house and went through all their pictures. We finally went to bed around 5:00 AM.

One year, I rode out to California with a friend on Amtrak. We woke up New Year’s Eve morning in the party car, and we had a party day traveling to Sacramento.

Square & Round Dancing on This Night

When I started square dancing, I loved to dance on New Year’s Eve with the tradition of ending the year with a dance, then starting the new year with another one.

For a couple of years, my ex and I drove to Raleigh, North Carolina, to spend Christmas with his brother and then attend a round dance festival at Myrtle Beach, South Carolina that ended on New Year’s Eve. During the festival before the holiday, Charlie Lovelace and Wayne and Barbara Blackford taught us some gorgeous higher-level dances. I loved being on the beach, too.

I had gotten into the habit of calling Mom in Colorado on New Year’s Eve—so, not thinking, I called her from Myrtle Beach when we got back to our room to wish her a “Happy New Year.” I didn’t realize it was late in Colorado, but she didn’t blink an eye! She was so glad to hear from me.

For several years, my ex and I went to Green Valley, Arizona, for New Year’s Eve. They served a delicious sit-down dinner, and then we square and round danced. We have so many friends in Arizona; it was a delight to celebrate with them there.

After Lin and I got together, we celebrated many years at the Albuquerque Square Dance Center with our Albuquerque square dance family. They got into the habit of observing the New York time of celebrating the New Year at 10:00 PM, our time, so we became used to an earlier night on New Year’s Eve.

Unique Night for New Year’s Eve

The most unique New Year’s Eve was Marshall Flippo’s last square dance in Green Valley, Arizona in 2017. About twenty-five callers came from all over the United States to see their mentor and friend call his last dance.

Flippo called a fun-filled dance. During the night, I saw groups of callers watching him on stage, emotions mixed for everyone.

During the amazing night, Flippo handpicked his music. He sang, “Another Square Dance Caller.” He shared a heartfelt thank you to everyone in attendance and ended his final dance with the song, “I’m Leaving Here a Better Man.” I’m sure that’s how he felt that night!

Larada Horner-Miller, Just Another Square Dance Caller: Authorized Biography of Marshall Flippo, (2020): 327.

What made that New Year’s Eve dance so unique—anyone there witnessed the end of an era with Flippo ending his square dance calling career. I felt honored to be there!

The Last Few Years on New year’s Eve

For a variety of health reasons of ours, we’ve been at-home the last few years on New Year’s Eve—not my idea of how to spend this holiday. And yes, during the pandemic last year we watched TV to ring in the new year.

Finally,

I enjoy celebrating the end of the current year and the anticipatory feelings of the new one coming. Putting on a silly paper hat, blowing a horn and throwing up confetti make me feel celebratory, but I love to observe this festive night dancing and being with friends.

Do you celebrate New Year’s Eve? If so, how? What is your favorite New Year’s Eve memory?


Here’s Christmas greetings from Flippo & Neeca, featuring his song, “When Its Christmas Time in Texas”: https://youtu.be/mpJCUGffU3A

Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? New Year's Eve meme

Visit my website to find out about my new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? and my other five books and three cookbooks: https://laradasbooks.com

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Christmas · Christmas · family · Friends · Holidays · My Thoughts

The Day After Christmas—Now What?

Girl sitting sad the day afer Christmas

The day after Christmas is here! Santa needs a vacation. Now, what? As a child, I focused on playing with my new toys on this day. As an adult, what do I do?

Looking Back

Looking back on my Christmas preparations, I created a calendar for a family gift. I wrote, designed and published our annual Christmas newsletter. Then, I sent cards to friends far and near. During Advent, I took part in a group who read Richard Rohr’s Preparing for Christmas, then we shared comments and remarks on WhatsApp because we had an international group participating. What a rewarding group that was!

Christmas Eve

Lin and Larada on Christmas Eve
Lin and Larada on Christmas Eve

I had an errands day in Albuquerque, getting a prescription and some groceries. At 5:00 pm, Lin and I virtually attended my church’s, Hope in the Desert Episcopal Church, Christmas Eve service. It started with “La Posada,” a Mexican tradition of the pregnant Mary and Joseph going house to house and being denied any lodging. The last home welcomes them in. In its simplicity, it was beautiful.

After the service, we ate Costa Rican tamales from Lin’s ex-wife and watched two traditional Christmas movies—“Scrooge” and “It’s a Beautiful Life.” Then we watched a contemporary movie on Amazon Prime with a strong Christian message.

Christmas Day

On Christmas morning, we opened our gifts and ate blueberry empanadas from Pastian’s Bakery. After that we played two Cribbage games. Lin worked hard so I wouldn’t be skunked on Christmas Day—what a loving man! We ate a late lunch—honey-baked ham, cheesy cheddar potatoes, asparagus, and applesauce. Later, we enjoyed pecan pie. Lin added eggnog ice cream.

From that point on, Lin watched the two football games scheduled for Christmas day. That’s always shocking to me to have football at Christmas. I made a big batch of popcorn balls—my favorite Christmas goodies. I neglected to get my traditional baking in this year.

During the day, we both called friends we knew having a hard time this holiday: one who lost her dad this year and was alone, one who recently lost her husband of fifty-three years and another long-time friend in an assisted living facility. Sharing those calls made our day! We are so blessed to have each other!

The Day After Christmas

So, here we are the day after Christmas. Usually, mega commercials for after-Christmas sales dominate our TV viewing. I have seen none! Probably because the stores’ Christmas items were picked over weeks ago. I went to our grocery store on Friday, and there was hardly anything available. Is this because of shortages or supply chain irregularities because of the pandemic? Unusual, no matter what. Mom used to love to go to these sales, looking for great buys!

I’ve always enjoyed this day. As a child, I familiarized myself with my new toy. As a high school student, we stayed up late each night and watched Johnny Carson and later Jay Leno on the Tonight Show. Later, I savored the time with Dad and Mom, with stories and trips to the ranch. After my niece moved to Texas and came regularly to Branson, she arrived this day, and we looked forward to a few days of loud games at the round table with laughter and stories and trips to the ranch looking for wildlife.

Extended Christmas Season

Twelve Days of Christmas - day after Christmas

For me, just because Christmas Day is behind me, the Christmas season isn’t over. My church celebrates the “Twelve Days of Christmas” which ends on January 6 at Epiphany, “a Christian festival held on January 6 in honor of the coming of the three kings to the infant Jesus Christ.”

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/epiphany

So, I keep wearing my Christmas outfits and enjoy extending the holiday. We don’t take our tree down until after Epiphany. I love this longer holiday season.

Day after Christmas

Many people have a big letdown on the day after Christmas—holiday expectations not met, memories of better times haunted by the changes today, etc. You fill in the blank with whatever weighs on you today.

Games - Day after Christmas

This year, on this day after Christmas, try something different. Call someone who may need cheering up, family or friend. Ask a family member about what Christmas was like when they were children, listen and ask questions to draw out more specifics. Dust off your stack of games and have a marathon game day. Tonight, make up some hot chocolate, grab your coat and hat to look at Christmas decorations in your area.

Finally,

The day after Christmas has arrived—enjoy it!

What are you doing today? Do you do anything traditional? If so, what?

Here’s Christmas greetings from Flippo & Neeca, featuring his song, “When Its Christmas Time in Texas”: https://youtu.be/mpJCUGffU3A

Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? Christmas meme

Visit my website to find out about my new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? and my other five books and three cookbooks: https://laradasbooks.com

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Christmas · Christmas · family · Friends · Memoirs · My Thoughts

Homemade Christmas—I Love It!

It's a homemade Christmas!

Homemade Christmas decorations and gifts have always given me a lot of pleasure in the making! From knitting stockings to plastercraft figurines to annual family calendars, I have made quite a variety.

Homemade Stockings

I started knitting in 4-H when I was ten years old and still enjoy this productive hobby. Many years ago, I found a fantastic stocking pattern and made my first. Then I branched out, making my nieces and nephew their own with their names on them. I also did great-nieces and nephew. Recently, I have made a great-nephew one.

I didn’t limit my production of Christmas stockings to just family. Because of my close relationship, I made my best friends’ children each one, and over the years, I have knitted so many I do not know how many!

To make these colorful holiday stockings, I always use red, white and green yarn or variegated yarn, but I don’t plan out the color scheme until I start. I have to graft out the name so it will fit on half of the stocking, so that takes some designing for sure. You can see my name almost doesn’t fit. I learned from mine a trick to make long names to fit!

Homemade knitted Christmas stockings
Stockings I knitted

What a truly wonderful experience it is to finish it, then add my label that says, “From the knitting needles of Larada Horner-Miller.”

Plastercraft Figurines

As a young married couple in 1973, we didn’t have any Christmas decorations and not much money to buy them, so I found out about plastercraft, “. . .similar to ceramics, but there is no firing or kiln necessary. Simply use easy water based acrylic paints.”

https://www.plastercraft.com/#:~:text=Plastercrafts%20are%20similar%20to%20ceramics,easy%20water%20based%20acrylic%20paints.

The first year I made Santa and love the whimsical look he has on his face with his wink. The next year I added Mrs. Santa. Over the years, I have protected my favorite Christmas plastercraft figurines in my many moves. After Christmas, I always stored them on a shelf in a spare bedroom to make sure they survived any storage problem. So when Lin wanted to store them in trunks in a storage shed, I panicked, but he wraps them up carefully and they have fared well these last ten years.

My other plaster craft figurine is a Christmas tree with lights. Every year, I love putting the little light bulbs in the spots and marvel at how pretty it is lit up.

So almost fifty years later, I continue to enjoy these three items as they remind me of our many years together.

Homemade Annual Family Calendar

A couple years after my dad died, one of my team teachers, Rebecca Betzen, reached out to my mom and put together a calendar filled with a variety of pictures from my childhood to my graduation dinner for my master’s degree! Several pictures high‐lighted favorite places on our family ranch. Those pictures ignited fond memories as my mom and I flipped through the pages, and I needed that. The gift thrilled me so much that I decided to do the same thing for my own family the next year. The recipient list grew over the years, so I added my brother and sisters, my nieces and nephew, cousins and great nieces and nephews. And it’s a tradition I continued until the pandemic. We weren’t together in 2020, so I have no pictures to highlight.

Each year I highlight whoever had a special event that year, like graduations or weddings. If a family member died the previous year, I featured him or her on the cover. I also featured our family ranch on the cover of several calendars. My second cousin married in England in 2017, and Lin and I attended, with me taking lots of pictures. Her new husband said, “I bet we make the calendar next year!” And they did—front cover!

Over the years, these calendars have become keepsakes, logging the key events of each year.

My joy came when my family members opened this gift and leafed through the pages, laughing at certain pictures and making heartfelt remarks. These calendars have become a historic family document of our year together.

Larada Horner-Miller, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? (2021): 217-218.

So I didn’t make a calendar in 2020, but it’s back in 2021 and here’s the cover:

2022 Horner calendar cover - homemade

Finally,

I love making homemade Christmas decorations and gifts. As I set out my decorations I’ve made, I get nostalgic remembering sitting at the table so long ago and making them. With each stitch I knit or photo I place, I have the joy of thinking about the gift and the person I made it for. How about you? Do you make anything for Christmas gifts? If so, what?


Here’s Christmas greetings from Flippo & Neeca, featuring his song, “When Its Christmas Time in Texas”: https://youtu.be/mpJCUGffU3A

Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? Christmas meme - homemade

Visit my website to find out about my new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? and my other five books and three cookbooks: https://laradasbooks.com

EXCITING NEWS HERE!

Press release for Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better?
Friends · My Thoughts

Two Team-Teachers: Thank God for Them!

Denim Christmas Shirts We Had Alike! Team-teachers
Denim Christmas Shirts We Had Alike!

Team-Teaching

In 1991, I moved to Albuquerque, New Mexico from Raton, New Mexico and started two lifelong relationships with two team-teachers, Rhonda Sandoval and Rebecca Betzen. We grew beyond colleagues to friends. Here’s why I’m thankful for them in my life.

First, I started team-teaching with Rhonda for sixth graders at Washington middle school. She taught math, science and social studies. I taught language arts, literature and Spanish.

Rhonda taught me so much about classroom management. She had a B.S. in Sociology and had worked with tough kids before, so her strict but fair discipline kept our students well behaved. Her famous “Honest Man” speech showed me how to get students to be honest first and then value of honesty.

Next, a couple of years later, we added Rebecca to our team, so we split the teaching areas with her. Rebecca student taught with Rhonda and, but the three of us worked together. When she finished her student teaching, we enjoyed her so much, we wanted her to join our team, so our principal hired her. Rebecca’s positive attitude was infectious!

We did interdisciplinary units where we worked on projects for an extended period that addressed all the content areas. We had a Future City unit and a Native American Unit the students loved. In fact, they enjoyed these projects so much we had to kick them out of the classroom to go to lunch. Our teaching techniques complimented and supported each other, and our students thrived!

For Halloween, we put on a play with vampires and more vampires. We had it translated into Spanish, so each class did the play in both languages. Rhonda designed the sets, and Rebecca and I rehearsed the lines. Early Halloween morning, the three of us arrived at the school to do the makeup for all the kids. How they enjoyed it! Team work—that’s what they both taught me! Life is better done as a team.

Socially

We partied at Rhonda or Rebecca’s houses often. For many Christmases, Mom and I would attend a party at Rhonda’s house and her parents would be there too!

The End of Our Team-Teaching

I left the team first in about 2000, then we ended up back together later in our careers for a couple years, working together, which was a dream come true. Rhonda had become a principal and hired Rebecca and me to work at her school. It never felt strange to work for Rhonda because of the type of person she is.

Throughout the years we have been apart, we scheduled regular time to meet, eat, and talk endlessly about our lives. We have gone through the deaths of a couple of Rhonda’s dogs. As the years unfolded, we watched Rebecca’s four daughters grow up, graduate, and move on with life. We celebrated Rebecca’s granddaughters when they arrived. We mourned the death of Rebecca’s family members. Rhonda has been with me for three of my four marriages; Rebecca for two.

In 1993, I got deathly sick and ended up in the hospital for the first time in my life. Rhonda was my first visitor and was so helpful through the whole horrible ordeal.

I lost both of my parents during our friendship, and when Mom got sick in 2013, Rhonda visited her in the hospital twice. When she died in 2013, Rhonda and Rebecca drove to Trinidad, Colorado, for her funeral. That’s the friends they are.

When Lin and I married in 2011, they stood up with me and celebrated our wedding day.

Bridal  party - team-teachers
Front Row: Rhonda-third from the left; Rebecca-second from the right

Finally,

Yes, we worked together—team-teachers, but because of these two women and how we related, we became enduring friends I know I can count on for anything. We may not talk for a few months, but when we get together, we pick up right where we left off! In fact, we have our annual Christmas get-together already scheduled.

Thank you, Rhonda and Rebecca for your constant support and love over the years!

Do you have friends from work that are close to you? How do you keep close?


Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? meme

Visit my website to find out about my new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? and my other five books and three cookbooks: https://laradasbooks.com

Check out Cyber Week Specials at my Etsy Shop, Larada’s Reading Loft, on select books! 40% off of select Individual books, 40% off of select bundles and 50% off of digital copies! These books make the perfect gift for your friends and family.

Friends · My Thoughts · square dance · Travel

Part 2: Two Special Friends Continued!

Kathi twirling - Part 2
Kathi Twirling

Part 2 of my series on two special friends continues today. I met Kathi Raver at Duke City Singles square dance club in 1997, excited to have a younger woman to relate to—she was a teacher, too! She immediately jumped in and took part in the club’s leadership.

Kathi stood nearly six-foot-tall and I’m 5 feet 3 inches, so we were like Mutt and Jeff for sure, but we loved to dress alike with our square dance clothes. When she died, we had about thirteen outfits alike.

One year to promote the Fling, we went to TASSD (Texas Area Single Square Dancers) in Amarillo, Texas—Art Tangen, our club caller, was calling. So, we decorated our petty pants on our backside with, “I (a heart) Art!” Then we mooned him when he was calling, showing him our petti pants and our support. Someone took a picture of Kathi’s bottom, and they featured her on the TASSD newsletter the next month.

I had been the chairperson for the New Mexico Singles Fling for several years, and she became my co-chair, then chaired it for several years. I stayed onboard the committee then and did the publicity for her. We had so much fun on that committee, producing major successful event, one right after the other.

For years, we did an outfit check before a dance weekend to see what we would wear each night. Kathi made several of my square dance outfits when she was chairing the Fling. She always felt that it helped me out because she liked to sew and I did the computer stuff for us for the Fling.

In 2000, she and two other women square dancers from Albuquerque went to Oklahoma City for Dance-A-Rama, the national single square dance festival. They came home and convinced me to chair the Dance-A-Rama in Albuquerque in 2003.

To promote Dance-A-Rama, 2003, the committee traveled to Richmond, Virginia, Norfolk, Nebraska and Dallas, Texas. Those travel trips top the list of my memories with Kathi. We had a blast doing it, and again, we had a major success. After DAR, 03, we promised each other we would go into the same nursing home and remember DAR, 03 and all of our fun antics over the years.

During this time, Kathi’s melanoma came back with a vengeance after being in remission for twenty years. It broke my heart to watch my spirited, fun-loving friend slow down as she dealt with this horrible disease. She continued working and daily gave herself shots as needed.

In 2004, Kathi met Lin Miller, and immediately they connected. In 2005, I treasure the memory of being present at Festigal, an annual square dance festival in Gallup, New Mexico where they met, when Lin asked her to marry him. Her face said absolute shock.

We hung out together with my ex-husband. We danced all over the Southwest together. When we were home, we danced at Duke City Singles on Friday night, then afterwards played cards until the wee hours of the morning.

Kathi’s the one responsible for my red hair. At a dance in Norfolk, Nebraska, in 2007, we went out to have breakfast. She saw a woman standing in line in front of us. Casually, she whispered in my ear, “Go ask her what color she uses. You’d look great with red hair.”

So, I did. The women chuckled, “Hot Tamale.” I came home and colored it and loved it. I returned to my natural color after a year, but in 2013 I went back to “Hot Tamale” and have had it red ever since. Every time I color it, I think of her.

During the years, we traveled together a lot. In 2008, we went to Branson, Missouri with two other couples. We cried at the Roy Rogers Museum during the show with Roy’s grandson.

In 2008, my ex and I broke up, and Kathi and Lin took me under their wing. Kathi went house hunting with me and her sister-in-law was a realtor. She would tell her sister-in-law, “Larada can’t afford this place.”

When I moved into my new townhouse, Kathi helped me find it. After getting instructions from her brother on how to do it, she hooked up my gas dryer. She climbed behind the dryer with barely enough room to get around in. She did it to save me $85.

In thinking about relationships, Kathi had a brisk attitude about them: give your mourning time of six months, then get on with life. She had a hard time watching me deal with my recent divorce—she wanted me to move on.

Her cancer came back with a vengeance again, and she kept beating it, but she couldn’t for the last time. Her powerful spirit still shown through, though. When the ambulance drove her to the hospice in Albuquerque, they went to the wrong hospital, and she had to direct them to the right one! Leave it to Kathi.

Kathi died on November 25, 2009, eleven years ago today. I felt privileged to be by her side when she died. My heart felt shattered as I stood by her bed and witnessed her last breath after our fourteen years relationship. What a privilege to be there!

Her spirit lives on around me today—because Lin, her husband, and I ended up together and married. We live in her house she built. Some might be uneasy about this. I have never had an issue because I remembered her strong directive when my ex and I broke up—take six months and get on with life.

Lin and I had a very interesting confirmation about our relationship from a mutual friend of ours and Kathi after she died. We’re all on the committee of an annual dance, Hot August Nights. Kathi and this friend were talking in the kitchen. Kathi had been battling her last round of cancer. She watched me on the dance and told our friend, “I hope Lin and Larada get together if something happens to me. They would make each other happy.” That was August; she died in November!

So every day I get to thank Kathi for so much! The memories, the fun, the craziness an her beautiful house! And she gave me Lin!

Part 2 features Kathi; Part 1 featured Candy. I’m so fortunate to have had two friends like these two women, and I carry them with me each day.

Here’s the Gratitude Log again if you need it. I shared a couple days ago.

Do you ever buy clothes alike? Have you ever been present with a friend dying? What did you take away from it?


Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better?

Visit my website to find out about my new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? and my other five books and three cookbooks: https://laradasbooks.com

Check out Cyber Week Specials at my Etsy Shop, Larada’s Reading Loft, on select books! 40% off of select Individual books, 40% off of select bundles and 50% off of digital copies! These books make the perfect gift for your friends and family.