Category: Mom

A Redhead Once Again!
Colorado · Mom · My Thoughts

A Redhead Once Again!

Larada Horner-MillerLeave a comment
Me a redhead now!
Me a redhead now!
Me a redhead now!

I’m a redhead once again! I’ve not felt like it for the past seven months—but I decided last Thursday it was time, time to reclaim my life.

I’m not a natural redhead, so I became a redhead from a bottle. In fact, over the last seven months, I noticed a strong growth of white hair around my face—not a lot sprinkled elsewhere, but some! I inherited my dark hair color from my mom and grandmother and our German roots.

My Family History

My dad was a redhead, so much so his nickname as a young man was “Red.” I never knew him as a redhead because his hair had thinned out and changed to a brown speckled with some gray. I learned about this nickname years later from one of his friends.

My half-sister and half-brother both were redheads, and I always admired their hair color growing up!

First Time a Redhead

In May 2007, Kathi Raver, Lin’s deceased wife, Lin, Ted and I were at a square and round dance festival in Norfolk, Nebraska. The morning after the festival, we had a delicious breakfast at a local restaurant, rivaling in the fun memories of the weekend and were standing in line to pay.

Kathi noticed a woman in line ahead of us and said to me with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes, “Go ask that woman what color she uses. You would look good with that color hair.”

I looked at the woman’s flaming red hair and felt a nudge inside, so I walked up to her, and asked what color she used—”Hot Tamale by Garnier Nutrisse.” I shared this information with Kathi when I returned and tucked it away.

At that point in my life, I hadn’t reconsidered coloring my hair. I had been a beautician for fourteen years before I became a teacher. I experimented regularly with coloring my hair. In fact, I volunteered to be the first to have my hair “frosted” in Beauty School only to end up with a green cast to my frost.

For many years, I bleached out the “frame” around my face and experimented with a variety of shades of color, from silver to pink. Right before my best friend’s wedding, I “framed” my face with red—fire engine red, and it horrified her when she saw me because my maid-of-honor dress was peach, and I was to wear a peach hat. What a clashing color combination that was!

So, I came home from Nebraska and pondered the possibility but didn’t do anything immediately. In June or July, I went to Colorado to visit my mom and told her about the idea. She always loved to do adventurous things with her hair, so we did it.

When I came home a redhead, Ted’s only comment was, “So you did it!” I continued coloring my hair until October or November and decided it was too much work.

Second Time a Redhead

Me, the redheade
Me, the redhead

Fast forward to 2013. My mom passed away in March, and in the summer, I needed an uplift—I remembered the “Hot Tamale” color and went for it. I loved the new me in the mirror and I received lots of compliments. It felt right!

Garnier Nutrisse did away with “Hot Tamale” a few years ago, so I changed to “Red Hibiscus” and have loved it ever since.

I continued coloring my hair until July, 2024 when the dog viciously attacked me. To say the less—I focused on recovering and making it through another day. At first, I couldn’t stand easily and used a cane. Then it just slipped past me. In fact, it was too much to do in my mind with all the doctor’s appointments and the pain.

Not a redhead anymore! Notice the white hair!
Not a redhead anymore! Notice the white hair!

About 4-5 months after the dog attack, someone asked me, “Where’s the redhead?”

I said, “She’s dead.” I really felt that vivacious, energetic person I had been for so many years had died.

A week ago Friday a good friend, Cindy Gillette, asked me, “Where’s the redhead?” That’s all she knew me as. I told her about my earlier response, but I was feeling more like a red head again.

After pondering it for a few days, I decided it was time. So, last Thursday, Lin (my hearty assistant) and I colored my hair. The redhead is back! I look in the mirror and love what I see! I know in my heart-of-hearts—I’m a redhead!

So, what does that mean?

Am I totally healed? Yes, the wound has been healed for a few months, but I still struggle with nerve damage pain. I’ve had five injections in my ankle and leg with little relief. Next Wednesday, I see the pain management doctor and he’s going to do two trigger point injections in my knee and butt because the pain radiates up from my ankle to my butt. I also have an appointment at the end of March for another three injections in my ankle. We have no idea what the prognosis is.

No, I’m not totally healed, but this redhead can hear her dad saying, “Take the bulls by the horns. Don’t let the SBs win! Drink a lot of ice water and stay in there. Quitters never win and winners never quit.” You can see my ole cowboy dad was full of what he thought were motivational sayings.

Yes, today I agree with Dad—no matter what—I have to be true to myself, keep going and for now—that means being a redhead!

My Newest Books

Is My Truth Universal?: A Woman’s Poetic Odyssey e-book – FREE

Was It a Dream?: Navigating Life’s Journey Through Poetry e-book on sale for $.99

Hair on Fire

Hair on Fire: A Heartwarming & Humorous Christmas Memoir e-book on sale for $1.99

Buy My Audio Books:

This Tumbleweed Landed

This Tumbleweed Landed audiobook cover

Let Me Tell You a Story 

Let Me Tell You a Story audiobook cover

Hair on Fire: A Heartwarming & Humorous Memoir Audiobook

Hair on Fire: A Heartwarming & Humorous Christmas Memoir audiobook cover

A Peaceful 4th of July
family · Holidays · Memories · Mom · My Thoughts

A Peaceful 4th of July

Larada Horner-MillerLeave a comment
Lin's luscious garden - a peaceful 4th of July

I enjoyed a peaceful 4th of July morning this year, sitting in Lin’s luscious garden doing my daily Quiet Time which includes Julia Cameron’s practice of “Morning Pages”—three handwritten pages of what’s going on in my life. Then I joined online an international meditation group I belong to and enjoyed an inspirational poem, “Lady Liberty,” then twenty minutes of meditation and then an opportunity to list three ways I saw God working in my life during the last twenty-four hours.

Peaceful, calm! For sure! Normally, I sunbath, starting in May, but I’ve had some health issues the last couple years and haven’t, so I decided it was time to enjoy the sun again. I donned my patriotic two piece red, white and blue bathing suit and soaked up the sun.

For lunch, Lin grilled hot dogs, then we drove to Albuquerque to drop by garden club friends of ours and enjoyed a lively conversation there and a lovely garden full of blooming lilies. This gardener has been one of Lin’s mentors over the years.

Instead of Fireworks

For the evening, we had decided a couple days ahead of time we would watch the movie, “Oppenheimer.” In May, I heard the co-author of the book, Kai Bird, talk at the Santa Fe International Literary Festival. His comments ignited my interest, so I bought the book there. Then in the last month, the movie came up on Prime, so we decided to watch it.

Peaceful, calm—it wasn’t! What a sad, horrible treatment of a man who should have been deemed a national hero but the insane “Red Scare” and McCarthyism grilled and grilled him. Watching his metamorphoses, he had to deal with what he had done by being the “Father of the Atomic Bomb.”

“. . .after World War II, Oppenheimer lobbied vigorously for international control of atomic energy, proposing that the Soviet Union and the United States submit to a supranational organization designed to allow sharing of peaceful atomic energy information while keeping weapons development to a monitored minimum.”

https://www.atomicarchive.com/history/hydrogen-bomb/page-15.html 

At the end, both Lin and I felt he got the raw end of the deal. Robert Downey Junior played Lewis Strauss superbly and won an Oscar for his performance. At first, I didn’t want to believe him as a villain because I like him so much, but in the end Downey Junior had us cheering when he lost his appointment he sought to be in Eisenhower’s cabinet.

So, no fireworks—no outlandish party with insane behavior! Just a mindful consideration of a piece of our country’s sad history.

As a Child—Peaceful?

When we were younger, I anticipated the first fireworks of the evening: sparklers that we could draw figure eights in the black sky around us. Then all the families in our little country town pooled their money and bought fireworks for us to enjoy, mostly bottle rockets in the 50s. But they lit up the sky and thrilled the gathered celebrants and me! It seemed magical.

As a child on this celebratory day, I focused on fireworks—Black Cat firecrackers my uncle and aunt brought from New Mexico to us in Colorado because they were illegal there, not peaceful! It fact, that was the farthest thing from my mind—I wanted explosions, noise, family around and fireworks.

Many years, our family and friends gathered and picnicked at the Folsom Falls during the day. I always wore my tennis shoes in the water because of the crawdads. I knew they’d bite my toes. Then we returned home for our firework display.

Cuchara, Colorado As an Adult—Peaceful?

Cuchara, Colorado on the 4th of July - peaceful
Cuchara, Colorado on the 4th of July

Later over the years, Mom, my brother and I went to Cuchara, Colorado for the 4th of July, a small town in southern Colorado that celebrates this day with a short parade, live music with lots of families and dogs (the Dog Bar encourages people to bring their dogs.). What a cool respite on a hot July day.

Pictures in Cuchara, Colorado - peaceful
Mom, my brother and I 2010
My mom dancing in the Dog Bar
Mom, my brother and I 2011

First, it was Mom, my brother and I who enjoyed this mountain retreat, starting 2010—cooler weather, fun people and great music. We had so much fun the first time with some rowdy Texan women dancing in the Dog Bar, we had to go back the next year.

Larada playing putt-putt golf - peaceful
Larada playing putt-putt golf

After Mom died, my brother, Lin and I kept up the tradition of going to Cuchara, playing putt-putt golf and dancing at the Dog Bar.

Lin and I at Cuchara, Colorado - peaceful
Lin and I at Cuchara, Colorado

Then my brother’s youngest daughter and her family joined us there. We played putt-putt golf and enjoyed the mountain getaway.

Red River, New Mexico As an Adult—Peaceful?

My niece and I all dressed up for the 4th of July - peaceful
My niece and I all dressed up for the 4th of July

In 2018, we moved this celebration to Red River, New Mexico and found out they had more fun activities for my niece’s two young sons. We also had the privilege of attending a Michael Martin Murphy dance/concert at the Mother Lode bar.

Michael Martin Murphy at the Mother Lode - peaceful
Michael Martin Murphy at the Mother Lode

Branson, Colorado As an Adult—Peaceful?

As for so many, the pandemic changed everything, so we stayed away from the mountain resorts where there would be a lot of people gathering. In 2021, my brother’s two daughters brought their families to Branson, Colorado and we went out on the ranch and shot off our fireworks.

Fireworks on our ranch - peaceful
Fireworks on our ranch

For the last couple years, Lin and I have stayed home—peaceful and calm. But I still remember those family-filled holidays with loved ones and am thankful for the memories.

Finally,

This 4th of July in Lin’s garden and being with him felt good—the right way to celebrate this patriotic day. Peaceful and calm has become something I enjoy these days.

How about you? What did you do for this holiday?

Buy My Audio Books:

This Tumbleweed Landed

This Tumbleweed Landed audiobook cover - peaceful

Let Me Tell You a Story 

Let Me Tell You a Story audiobook cover - peaceful

Hair on Fire: A Heartwarming & Humorous Memoir Audiobook

Hair on Fire: A Heartwarming & Humorous Christmas Memoir audiobook cover - peaceful

Enjoy my interview on the podcast, The Writing Table

Memorial Day, 2024—My Childhood Traditions of Decorating Graves
family · Memories · Mom · My Thoughts

Memorial Day, 2024—My Childhood Traditions of Decorating Graves

Larada Horner-MillerLeave a comment
Gravestones - Memorial Day

We will celebrate Memorial Day, 2024 tomorrow. This year I plan to send time with my brother, but as a child, we had a tradition.

However today, some Americans seem confused about Memorial Day and Veterans Day.

Difference Between Memorial Day & Veterans Day

“Memorial Day and Veterans Day are both patriotic holidays honoring the military, but there is a significant difference between the two aside from when they land on the calendar.

Memorial Day, which falls on the last Monday in May, honors the men and women who died while serving in the military. This solemn occasion is a time to reflect on these American patriots who made the ultimate sacrifice while protecting and defending the country they deeply loved. Veterans Day, observed every November 11, recognizes all who have served in the Armed Forces.”

https://www.hfotusa.org/difference-memorial-day-veterans-day/

Many Americans see Memorial Day as the first holiday of the summer—a barbecue and maybe some family time and a day off from work but not a thought about the men and women who have died serving in the military. How about you? Did you know that?

My Childhood & Memorial Day

During my childhood, I knew “the dead” played a role in this holiday because we often we met my maternal grandparents who lived in Amarillo, Texas, at the cemetery in Des Moines, New Mexico and “decorated” the graves of our family members. But I didn’t know the military aspect of it.

It was a community time with many local people assembling with friends who had moved away. Yes, there was reverence for “decorating” the graves, and the grown-ups enjoyed seeing friends and visiting. As children, we met up with friends and ran around, not really understanding the importance of the day.

Afterwards, Mom, my brother and I would go back to Amarillo with my grandparents as the beginning to our summer fun.

My mom and dad religiously “decorated” the graves of their deceased relatives on Memorial Day. They went to Trinidad where my dad’s side of the family were buried. Then they went to Des Moines, New Mexico to honor Mom’s side of the family. When my dad died, I joined Mom in keeping up these traditions.

After Mom died, I continued the tradition of “decorating” the graves in Trinidad for many years, but I didn’t go on Memorial Day because I live 280 miles away. My cousin agreed to honor our family buried in the Des Moines cemetery.

Today & Memorial Day—”Decorating” Graves

This afternoon, my brother and I returned from a two-day trip to Cripple Creek, Colorado for his birthday celebration. We gambled and enjoyed each other—a precious relationship I have with my brother!

As we neared Trinidad this afternoon, he asked if I wanted to go by the cemetery, and I answered enthusiastically, “Yes!” This year he “decorated” the graves a week or so ago. I so appreciate him taking on this task.

Mom & Dad's gravestone - Memorial Day
Mom & Dad’s gravestone

When we arrived, I thought, “Here we are again, honoring our deceased relatives like our parents and grandparents taught us.” I took pictures of Mom and Dad’s grave and my brother and I enjoyed simple conversation, silence and reverence.

My Grandparent’s gravestone
My Aunt Helen’s gravestone

Then we walked to my Aunt Helen’s grave and my paternal grandparents, commenting on the state of each—Aunt Helen’s stone has tilted over the years and is supposed to get fixed. A small tree has grown besides Granddad Horner’s side of the gravestone and my brother commented about bringing shears to cut it down.

“Decorating” graves, graveyards and Memorial Day—that has been my tradition. We have lost no one in our family in military service, so this day became a day to honor the dead in our family.

Hopefully, if you have lost a family member or friend to military service, today you will take the time to honor them with flowers on their grave, a silent prayer of thanks or whatever ritual you think of for their service. Yes, enjoy your barbecue, your day off, the beginning of summer, but—”lest we forget!”

As a nation, we need to remember these days for what they are—forgetting the meaning of a holiday renders it less than what it is.

Hair on Fire audiobook cover - Memorial Day

~ Hair on Fire: A Heartwarming & Humorous Christmas Memoir available in audiobook format at the following places:

Enjoy my interview on the podcast, The Writing Table

Moms Everywhere: Bless You!
family · Mom · My Thoughts

Moms Everywhere: Bless You!

Larada Horner-MillerLeave a comment
Mom & Larada

Bless you, Moms everywhere! This day slows downs, steps aside from the rush and the hurry, and celebrates moms everywhere! You are the backbone of our worlds! I’ve never been a mom, but I marvel at how you do it all: the laundry, the meals, the housecleaning and the job! It’s beyond my comprehension!

So, I want to salute my dear mom once more! I never tire of writing about her. I remember her perky personality and giggles that often caused me to giggle. Then a chain reaction of laughter filled the room. As I wrote this, I pondered her as a young mother, the mother I don’t remember!

How Did You Manage?

How did you manage?

My heart beat next to yours

            For nine months.

I felt what you felt     

            Your loves and fears

                        Ate what you ate

Spicy food often

                        Loved what you loved

                                    Dancing, dancing and Dad!

My world was you!

I always knew you wanted me!

            Never a doubt!

You didn’t know I was a girl

            The daughter that would complete

your family!

Quickly everything changed

            For me!

My comfortable world

            Of warm

                        Fluid

                                    And you!

My birth came

            You square danced the night

                        Before I was born!

                                    Doing what you and Dad loved!

Did you feel any pain

            When Dad twirled you that night?

Did your big belly bounce

            To the beat of the music?

                        Is this why I love to dance?

Was my birth hard?

            You never spoke of the pain

                        Only the glory!

You welcomed me into your family

            A dad who cherished me,

A brother, thirteen months older than me

            A baby himself

            Three half-siblings who saw me

                        As the spoiled baby!

A young mother of twenty-five,

            I wonder how you managed,

                        Me, a new born

                        My brother, so close to my age!

                                    Really two babies!

How did you manage?

Did you have many sleepless nights?

            Did you have arms aching from holding

                        Two sleeping babies?

                                    Did the mounting heap of diapers

                                                Seem to never end?

You never spoke of the responsibility,

                        Only the glory!

You managed

            Like all mothers do!

                        You did what you had to do,

                                    Washed diapers,

                                                Filled bottles with milk.

                                                            You marveled at my

                                                                        Small fingers wrapped

                                                                                    Around yours!

Mother and baby's hand - Mom

And you loved

            Every minute!

Yes, you managed!

            You managed well!

Writing poetry always puts me in another dimension in thinking about a familiar topic. I thought I had written everything there was to say. I have written several poems about mom, an entire book about losing her, yet here, in a fresh moment, these words came.

Finally,

Happy Mother’s Day, Moms—how do you manage it all? You just do it and love every minute.

Celebrate your mom today and remember her on this special day!

News, News, News!

Just Another Square Dance Caller meme - mom
Lounge on the beach with your iPhone and Flippo!

~Get your FREE Fifty minute audio recording of “Highlights of My Conversations with Flippo.” Learn how he started calling, how he recorded “The Auctioneer,” and a bonus: which caller did he sleep with? Click here for easy access!