Category: Writing

An Emotional Trigger: Do You Have Any Idea!
Book Promotion · My Thoughts · Spirituality

An Emotional Trigger: Do You Have Any Idea!

Larada Horner-MillerLeave a comment
Emotional redhead - emotional trigger

As an incest/rape survivor, the results of this last election have devastated me. After the unforgettable loss in 2016, this tragic loss has triggered me again emotionally with profound consequences.

NOTICE:

If you’re a Trump supporter, you probably don’t want to read any further and you may want to unsubscribe from my blog posts. The world has changed!

An Emotional Trigger Definition

“. . . a trigger is an instance when you become physically and/or emotionally reactive to something that relates to the trauma you have experienced. These symptoms and feelings are part of your brain’s natural response to unsafe experiences from the past.”

Common Symptoms: Triggers

2016 – An Emotional Trigger Big Time!

In 2016 thinking Hillary Clinton would win, I sat in shock when her defeat was announced. I sat up until after 2:00 AM before she conceded. Lin went to bed earlier but came down stairs and asked who won, honestly thinking she had won.

When I announced who won, it shocked him even though he supported the other candidate. He said I looked like someone had beat me up. And that’s how I felt.

Why did I respond so deeply? He’s a perpetrator, plain and simple. On October 7, 2016, just a month before the election, this was revealed:

“In a video from 2005 published by The Washington Post on Friday, Republican presidential candidate Donald J. Trump can be heard making lewd comments about women to then-Access Hollywood host Billy Bush.”

https://www.etonline.com/news/199902_donald_trump_and_billy_bush_discuss_nancy_o_dell_2005_recording

He became an emotional trigger for me with this disclosure, but I really felt this horrible information would crater his chance of being elected. It didn’t. My reaction continued through his four year presidency.

2020 – I Wasn’t Prepared for the Emotional Trigger

Thankfully, Joe Biden defeated him! I sighed with relief, but then sat glued to the TV screen on January 6, 2021 when he led a violate insurrection of our capitol. Again, I dealt with an emotional trigger with him and had to listen to him whine about his lost election which he never accepted. He just kept emotions stirred up for years!

2024 – A Deep Emotional Trigger

So, here we are! For many years of my life, I wondered what was wrong with me. I made three bad choices of husbands. During my active drinking days, I never understood my promiscuous behavior because I wasn’t raised that way.

In 1988, recovery saved my life. Since then, I have done a massive amount of therapy and recover for the incest and rape I experienced at the hand of two family members as a young girl. In 1993, I went to sexual trauma treatment in Los Lunas, New Mexico. I had focused on one perpetrator when I went into CoDA (Codependence Anonymous) treatment in 1988. In Los Lunas, I focused on the second one. Now I understand my behavior and know my limits and emotional triggers.

So, the Republican candidates for president and vice president emotionally trigger me deeply with their misogynist comments and posturing. Couple that with the horrendous attacks on women’s rights, and it’s too much.

Therefore, that’s why I can’t stay here!

I’ll end with a haiku I wrote this last week. The first two lines came from my sand play therapy many years.

I’m Marilyn Monroe.

I’m a Samurai warrior.

Don’t f**k with me now!

Finally,

I had to be vulnerable today because one of my great-nieces shared deeply her concerns on social media last week, and I told her I was sharing my story in my blog post. My power today as a woman is my story and telling it. One of my perpetrators tried to silence me many years ago—no more!

If you relate to my story at all, let me know. If you need help, get in touch with the resources listed below or email me at larada@icloud.com and we can talk.

RESOURCES FOR SEXUAL TRAUMA

EXCITING NEWS:

I’m so excited and relieved. I wanted to release this book in August but the dog attack delayed it! Just this week, I released my ninth book, Was It a Dream?: Navigating Life’s Journey Through Poetry.  It’s available as a paperback or an e-book on Amazon.

LOTS AND LOTS OF SALES COMING YOUR WAY, SO BE SURE AND OPEN ANY EMAILS FROM ME!

[mc4wp_form id=3447]

National Cliché Day: What’s That?
My Thoughts · Writing

National Cliché Day: What’s That?

Larada Horner-Miller2 Comments
Scramble Blocks - Cliché

I grew up with parents who loved a familiar cliché. I bet you’ve heard one today from someone in your family or a football announcer. What is a cliché and why are authors warned against them?

Definition of Cliché

“A cliché is a tired, stale phrase or idiom that, because of overuse, has lost its impact.”

https://prowritingaid.com/cliche

Writers who use cliches are accused of having a lack of original thought, and I have been warned against them vehemently!

Think About Things Differently - Cliché

Nevertheless, We hear cliches every day because they’re rooted in our culture. Here’s some you might recognize.

Familiar Cliches

  • read between the lines
  • play your cards right
  • it’s an uphill battle
  • better safe than sorry
  • you can’t judge a book by its cover
  • bring to the table
  • low-hanging fruit
  • the grass is always greener on the other side
  • ignorance is bliss

https://prowritingaid.com/list-of-cliches

I avoid cliches in my writing because of stark warning against them, but in my research today, I found this.

Three Times Authors Can Use Cliches

1. To sync with a readership. Clichés of idiomatic phrases and slang words can work for specific audiences. If you’re writing for a baby boomer audience, the cliché “back in the day” would make sense. By contrast, millennial readers would be familiar with the cliché “the struggle is real.”

2. To simplify. Clichés can be used to explain beginning level concepts. For example, a how-to guide for expectant mothers might use the phrase “Remember, you’re eating for two!”

3. For characterization. Writers might have a character use clichés to demonstrate that they are not an original thinker.

https://www.masterclass.com/articles/writing-101-what-is-a-cliche-learn-when-to-use-cliches-in-writing-and-20-common-cliches-all-writers-should-avoid

My dad, an old cowboy, had many cliches he liked, but my favorite is “it’s raining like a cow peeing on a flat rock.” Obviously that’s a rancher’s cliché and not used in everyday language in the city! My mom had a couple cliches she repeated: a pinch to grow an inch and you’re cruisin’ for a bruisin.’

Finally,

If you’re still wondering what a cliche is, think outside the box, grab the bull by the horns, it goes without saying, there are plenty of more fish in the sea. At the end of the day, check your language. I’ve got my plate full with all my writing commitments, but today I realize, every cloud has a silver lining. And we’re quite a team—there’s no “I” in team. How many cliches did I just use? What’s your favorite cliché? How about your family? Does anyone have favorite cliches they use regularly? In reality, they’re just a part of our culture, so celebrate this national day. I just have to be careful in my writing and use them wisely!

Podcasts & My Interviews

Buy My Audio Books:

This Tumbleweed Landed

This Tumbleweed Landed audiobook cover

Let Me Tell You a Story 

Let Me Tell You a Story audiobook cover

Hair on Fire: A Heartwarming & Humorous Memoir Audiobook

Hair on Fire: A Heartwarming & Humorous Christmas Memoir audiobook cover

[mc4wp_form id=3447]

Delays, Delays, Delays: Not My Choice!
My Thoughts · poetry · Self-publishing · Writing

Delays, Delays, Delays: Not My Choice!

Larada Horner-MillerLeave a comment
Allow for Delays

Delays have hampered the release of my new poetry book, Was It a Dream?: Navigating Life’s Journey Through Poetry. The reasons vary: publishing issues and the effects of the dog attack.

Dog Attack Causes Delays

Today is three months since that vicious dog attack that has altered my life and caused the delay of the release of this book. First, I hurt too much to work at all on this book. Then my life filled up with doctor’s appointments and just trying to get everything figured out with the wound. During the early weeks of this trauma, my thoughts and concentration suffered with the pain and the horror!

Recently, the nerve damage pain in my foot and ankle and now my leg has overtaken my life. So, the orthopedic doctor prescribed gabapentin for the nerve pain, causing me to feel fuzzy and have trouble thinking clearly. All of this affected the way I handled the specifics of self-publishing which now has caused further delays.

Publishing Issues

I originally planned to release this book in August. At first, I received the book cover on June 26 and gave them a page count for the book but didn’t get back to them until September 5. Then I changed the page count and needed them to adjust it. I also had neglected to get them the book description and my biography. So more delays!

I received the book description on July 16, timely enough. Because of a planned family get-together in Colorado, I neglected to look closely at the book description and forgot I hadn’t. Then on July 21, my life changed with the dog attack.

The cover company, 100covers.com, has been a dream to work with. Patiently, they have let me alter the requirements so far.

As I waited for the paperback cover, I wondered about the delay. On October 12, 2024, I emailed them because I had been waiting to release the paperback but hadn’t received the final cover. Today I got an email from them saying they sent me the covers on October 2, 2024—see the effect of the gabapentin. I couldn’t believe it I missed it, delaying another two weeks.

So, this afternoon, I checked the paperback cover and found two mistakes in the book description and my biography. I just emailed them to see if we can correct the mistakes that are my fault! Yikes!

I’ll let you know. What’s so frustrating for me about this—early in April when this four-book poetry book series became a reality, in my over-performing mindset, I thought about publishing maybe two or three of these books this year. Yes, I realized quickly that was far-fetched, but taking all this time to just publish one goes against my work ethics!

As I lamented to Lin, my husband, today about the delays, he reassured and said, “So, if you don’t release it until November, what difference is it?” His relaxed attitude helps me as I labor over these delays.

Update on Chapbook and Title

Last week, I shared about my chapbook I’m creating and offered some possible titles. Well, after my book coaching session this last week, I threw those titles out because they had nothing to do with the topics of the poems I write about in this chapbook. My book coach reminded me of four ways to title a nonfiction book. One of them was using the title of a poem from the book. I did that with Hair on Fire: A Heartwarming & Humorous Christmas Memoir and my new poetry book I’m getting ready to release, Was It a Dream?: Navigating Life’s Journey Through Poetry.

So, here’s the new title and the cover I created. I need your opinion on the difference choice of fonts.

#1

Book cover - delays

#2

Book cover - delays

Please help me out! Make a comment in the Comments section on which number you like or email me at larada@icloud.com but respond!

Finally,

Self-publishing a book has so many moving parts. Add the insanity that the dog attack had on me and my abilities and it equals delays, delays, delays!

Podcasts & My Interviews

Buy My Audio Books:

This Tumbleweed Landed

This Tumbleweed Landed audiobook cover

Let Me Tell You a Story 

Let Me Tell You a Story audiobook cover

Hair on Fire: A Heartwarming & Humorous Memoir Audiobook

Hair on Fire: A Heartwarming & Humorous Christmas Memoir audiobook cover

[mc4wp_form id=3447]

A Lead Magnet—What’s That? And Why Is It Important?
Book Promotion · My Thoughts · poetry · Writing

A Lead Magnet—What’s That? And Why Is It Important?

Larada Horner-MillerLeave a comment
Marketing strategies - lead magnet

A lead magnet in the book marketing industry plays a key role, but what is it? And why is it important? I’m creating one for my four-book poetry series.

Lead Magnet Explained

“For authors marketing their books, giveaways (which we shall refer to as ‘lead magnets,’ for reasons that will become clear) work on multiple levels. They will:

  • Make readers more aware of your work and your ‘brand’;
  • Operate on the psychological principle of reciprocity — people innately wish to “pay you back” when you give them something for free; and
  • Give you access to their contact details.”

https://www.ingramspark.com/blog/how-to-create-an-irresistible-lead-magnet-to-market-your-book

Lead Magnet for My New Poetry Series

As I have listened to my book coach, Derek Doepker, and book coaching group, I realized I needed a lead magnet for my new poetry series. In the book industry, the lead magnet is usually is an e-book.

At first, I was going to make Book #1 of this series (the one I’m about ready to release) the lead magnet and have it FREE to entice poetry readers to join my email list. But another poet in our book coaching group gave me an idea—she created a chapbook as her lead magnet.

So what’s a Chapbook?

A chapbook is “a small book containing ballads, poems, tales, or tracts.”

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/chapbook

A chapbook’s size varies, but usually isn’t more than forty pages.

“From where would this chapbook come?” I wondered one day as this idea took root and sprouted. I have enough poetry I’ve written and more for the three other books in this series. Could I grab some from those three books not finalized yet? I needed a theme—something to organize this chapbook around!

Then it hit me! As an English teacher, I taught a poetry unit each year and wanted to grow as writer/teacher. So in 2002 & 2003, I attended poetry classes put on by Continuing Education, affiliated with University of New Mexico. These classes stretched me as a teacher/writer and ultimately as a poet later.

What a great theme! The teacher becomes the student! So, I sat in those six weeks classes and at time wondered—what was I doing! I had never been a poet who wrote rhyming poetry or formatted poetry. These classes focused on formats and forms. I had embraced Free Verse as my poetry of choice for writing. In this class, I felt challenged, stretched and wondered about my creations. The teacher encouraged me; my fellow students did, too, so it was an affirming experience. That’s why I wanted to feature them in this chapbook.

Help Me Select My Chapbook Title

Because you support my writing, I want you to have a part of the selection process for the title to my chapbook. Remember, it’s a short chapbook featuring poetry I wrote for two poetry classes I took.

Here’s the title possibilities:

  1. Two Poetry Classes, One Lesson: A Teacher’s Poetic Enlightenment
  2. Two Poetry Classes, One Insight: A Teacher’s Journey to Poetic Enlightenment
  3. Chalk Dust and Stanzas: Lessons from Both Sides of the Desk
  4. Chalk Dust and Stanzas: Lesson from the Other Side of the Desk

Help me decide! I like all of these choices. Make a comment in the Comments section and identify which title you like the best by the number.

Finally,

this chapbook will be the lead magnet for my four-book poetry series and will be permanently FREE on Amazon as an e-book. I will let you know when it’s available—probably next week or so!

Historical Fiction & Family Saga Book Giveaway!

This giveaway expires October 9, so jump on it today!

https://booksweeps.com/giveaway/historical-fiction-family-sagas-giveaway

Podcasts & My Interviews

Buy My Audio Books:

This Tumbleweed Landed

This Tumbleweed Landed audiobook cover

Let Me Tell You a Story 

Let Me Tell You a Story audiobook cover

Hair on Fire: A Heartwarming & Humorous Memoir Audiobook

Hair on Fire: A Heartwarming & Humorous Christmas Memoir audiobook cover

[mc4wp_form id=3447]