Colorado · family · Memories · Mom · MY LIFE · My Thoughts · Panama

Day 21 – Here and There!: A Poem About Two Places

juggling - here

For most of my adult life, I have struggled with “here” and “there.” I grew up, moved and had my adult home but my home in Branson, Colorado always called to me.

After our move to Panamá, this poem came up when I was visiting in Branson in December 2025. Witness my current struggle with “here” and “there”!

Here & There: Juggling Two Lives

The familiar train whistle blows

                  And I know I’m home

                                    In Branson,

A sound that echoes through my childhood.

The wind blows

                  Dust devils twirl on the plains.

The mesa towers to the southwest of us.

Saddlerock hangs to the west

                  As another reminder of home.

This my here now!

Our family ranch calls to me

                  Dad voices his familiar stories

                                    In my heart

                  Granddad looms large in my history

                  Mom’s sweet presence and squeals of delight

                                    Echo in my soul

                                    Memories overflow

                                                      Even though they’re gone.

Now, sitting beside my brother

                  With our stories.

He’s the only one who can verify their truth

                  Our stories

                  Our family’s stories

Sometimes quiet fills the truck cab

                  Dust swirls

                  Silence

                  Reverence for our shared lives

My brother opens up while we ride around

                  Safe

                  With deep stories

                                    His childhood disappointments

                                                      At our community church.

                                    I never knew!

                                                      Why???

The familiar sights

                  Cholla cactus

                                    Graceful with arms extended

                  Yucca

                                    Sharp spikes pointing heavenly

                  Pinon pine trees

                  Cedar trees

                                    The smell I love!

                  Oak brush, orange at this time of the year

                  Dead trees ravaged by drought and bugs

                  A windy trail, bumpy with rocks

                                    Reminds me of a Canyon Lullaby!

We try to make daily trips to the ranch,

                  But our busy schedule doesn’t allow.

Each trip feeds my soul, my spirit, my heart!

The train whistles in the background

                  Of my life here

                                    Several times a day

                                    Welcomed and comforting!

This house I inherited overflows

                  With Mom and Dad

I just used Mom’s pressure cooker

                  To cook spaghetti noodles

                  She called it her “Poor Man Microwave.”

Dad’s pot on the stove

                  To add some humidity to this dry climate.

Here my life is

                  Ranch business,

                  English, English, English!

                  No one knocks on my door anymore               

                                    My brother only

I visited my 96-year-old friend

                  But she’s failing!

That’s the here, but underneath

                  The “there” beckons!

Life there!

Our new life in Panama

                  Green jungle surrounds us

                  New friends live near us

                                    They knock on my door.

                  Beautiful clear mornings as we look towards

                                    Vulcan Barú

                  Rainy afternoons during the rainy season now.

Our life carved out

                  Two markets for fun and people

                  A knitting group

My recovery group

Basketball games, following one of our landlords

A more relaxed life

                  Less stress

                  US politics not the focus

No dishwasher in our rental house

                  Gives me time looking out the window

                                    At the green

                                    The colorful flowers

                                    The hummingbird buzzing the lavender flowers

                                                      Being present

                                                                        A gift!

Here my life is

                  My book business

                  Spanish, English, Spanish

                                    Which I love!

I never planned to move

                  To Panama

I planned to live and die in Tijeras

                  And visit Branson

My here and there

                  Used to be Tijeras, then Branson

But we stood on our decision and morals

                  We said no to the insanity

                  We took action,

                                    Well planned by Lin

                  And it happened

Here and there—juggling these two lives

                  When I’m here, I think of there.

                  When I’m there, I yearn for here.


My Writing Group

I shared this on Monday with my Writing Group from New Mexico at a Zoom meeting. One person’s critiqued: “I loved the homeyness of it. Also, I can relate to the train because I had a train in my childhood. I also love the line – ‘The “here” now.’”

Another writer in the group shared he loved the visuals and it felt so many of the topics in it were universal.

Finally,

Juggling the here and there has become an art for me—I’ve done it my whole life. What are your thoughts about this poem? Any line resonate with you? Any topic remind you of something in your life? I hope it did and please share it.

Larada Horner-Miller - here
Here or there? Where am I?

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family · My Thoughts · New Mexico · Panama · Ranching

A Whirlwind Week: Back in the USA & My New Book’s Cover

Whirlwind

What a whirlwind week I’ve had. I started it in Panamá. Then I flew to Albuquerque for a few days and then on to Branson, Colorado to be with my brother! Whew!

It was an early day for Lin and I—up at 4:30 AM with our trusty Uber driver, Joel, picking us up at 5:15 AM. At the airport, we went our separate ways: Lin returned to David, Panamá and our dear neighbor picked him up.

I flew to Houston, Texas in Business class, a new experience for me. The reason we did that—we don’t get charged for two suitcases. Otherwise, in Economy Premium you pay for the second suitcase. So, to explain: I put my medium suitcase in my big one to fill when I go through the storage shed. On the flight, I worked on the final layout of my second book some, but not as much as I had hoped.

In Houston, once again I went through customs easily because Lin and I bought the “Global Entry” which makes entry into the US seamless because of facial recognition.

I had a four-hour layover in Houston, but it worked because I did have to get my suitcase and recheck. I needed to eat, and I love sitting in an airport and watching people.

On my flight to Albuquerque, I slept most of the way. My dear friend, Sheri, picked me up and we went to one of our favorite eateries, Rusty Taco, for dinner.

Immediately Sheri offered to chauffeur me around, so we went to two different Walmarts to pick up some things I knew I couldn’t get in Panamá—yarn for the baby afghan I’m knitting for my great nephew and three-hole hole puncher. Sheri graciously offered to go to the second one.

Then in the afternoon, we drove up to our house in Tijeras to change the air conditioning to heating. It ended up being super easy because when we put in the air conditioning we bought a top-line thermostat.

We walked around Lin’s garden and marveled at how well it looked, but we were sad to see the absence of the three big fish we had in our pond. Sheri and I only saw the three little ones.

Then, on our way home, we stopped at our storage shed just to check on it. Everything looked great, and I easily found the scale we have to weigh a suitcases. Lin had left it out in the open on top of the “Panamá” boxes near the door.

After that, we went home and enjoyed a relaxing evening of watching “Dancing With the Stars.” I used the yarn I bought and knitted like crazy. I want to finish it on this trip and mail it—it’s late because he was born May 25, on his granddad’s (my brother) birthday.

This whirlwind day centered on medical needs. I had messaged my primary care physician about the hearing loss I’ve experienced since the ear infection I had in September. His nurse called back but I didn’t answer because I didn’t recognize the number. She left a voicemail, so I called back and they got me an appointment on November 14. I had to delay it because I was going to  northern New Mexico on the train on Thursday and staying a couple weeks with my brother.

Then a little later I got a phone call saying they had a 1:00 appointment THAT day! OMG! I had plans to go with our realtor to our house to meet a painter for an appraisal at 11:30 AM. So, I declined.

When our realtor picked me up and we barely pulled away from Sheri’s house, my phone rang and it was primary care physician with no greeting, only a question—“Why can’t you make the 1:00 PM appointment?”

I told him what I was doing. After a short silence, he said, “Can you make it at 3:00 this afternoon?”

I looked at my realtor and she shook her head, so I said, “YES!” Wow! Can you believe that!

We met the painter then had lunch and great conversation, catching up.

Sheri took me to my 3:00 appointment. My doctor had concerns about my right ear and the possibility I still had an infection in it, so he gave me a prescription for an antibiotic.

Sheri has dinner every Wednesday with two girlfriends, so I joined them. What a delightful time I had to meet the women I heard her talk about often. Afterwards we picked up my prescription. When we got home, I went through seven weeks of junk mail mostly that our realtor had collected! It was a bin full! To end the evening, I organized my suitcase, to prepare for my trip the next day.

Sheri woke up sick because of an antibiotic she was taking, but she did feel better later so she took me to the Amtrak train station. The train was an hour late from Albuquerque then delayed thirty minutes more on the trip.

Because of problems with my leg still, I sat downstairs by a 92-year-old woman traveling to Wisconsin. She was a retired high school English teacher, so we had a lot in common.

On the trip, I worked on my book business and set up a couple ads to promote some of my books.

When I arrived in Raton, New Mexico, my brother was waiting. We went to Bruno’s for pizza and had some of the best pizza I’ve ever had. Then we drove the hour trip home to Branson.

Of course, we went out to our ranch in the morning! I love going out there with him. Recently we’ve had road work done on our canyon and created two new reservoirs. What fun it was to see the road improvements and water in both of the reservoirs.

My brother is a big sports fan, so we watched the sixth game of the World Series with both of us cheering for the Toronto Blue Jays. Sadly they didn’t win which pushed it into a seventh game.

What a busy whirlwind day I had full of Zoom meetings!

First, I joined my CoDA meeting at 10:30 AM in Albuquerque via Zoom. I love staying connected to this meeting and my friends there.

During the meeting, my brother texted me that his deer meat was ready to pick up. He’s a great hunter and shot a buck last week. So, he drove to Capulin, New Mexico to pick up the meat and the head. He’s going to have the head mounted to add to his collection of nine heads he already has in his living room.

After the meeting, I cooked some antelope backstrap for us for lunch. When he got back, I went to his house to watch the Texas Tech football game and eat lunch. His great nephew, Coy Eakins, plays on the team and our whole family has been following Coy and Tech.

At 3:00 PM, I changed from Tech football and came to my house and did a Zoom meeting with my three friends for our monthly meeting. Again, I enjoyed the stories and the camaraderie of this group.

That night, we watched the seventh game of the World Series that stretched into an eleven-inning game. These two teams were evenly matched, but the LA Dodgers won. Sadly we had no trick or treaters!

Another whirlwind day for sure!

Because I’m a Denver Broncos’ fan, I missed church and went to my brother’s house to watch the game with him. He’s an avid Broncos’ fan with a house totally decorated with Denver Broncos’ stuff and San Francisco Giants’ stuff—he lived in northern California for 32 years.

And the Broncos pulled out another win, driving us crazy until the end.

Afterwards, my brother and I drove fifty miles to Trinidad to his friend Bill who is a taxidermist and gave him the head of the buck my brother shot. I love Bill! We sat for quite a while listening to his stories.

As you can see, this whirlwind week overflowed with activity. In the midst of everything, I did a poll on four book cover possibilities for my new book. Let me know which one you like.

This book will be out sometime this year, hopefully at the end of November! Be on the lookout!


Larada outside - whirlwind
A New Mexico/Colorado greeting to my readers!

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family · MY LIFE · My Thoughts

Three Generations Today: A Day of Delight!

Two women shopping- generations

Three generations today had a delightful time shopping—at Tony Bernal’s Art Studio, Appaloosa Gallery (I knew it as Walt’s Corner) and then on to Trinidad to shop and then see the movie, How to Train a Dragon. I’m exhausted, so this will be short!

My brother, his son and his two granddaughters and I had a marvelous time today enjoying southeastern Colorado. We started with a stop at Tony Bernal’s Art Studio. What an amazing collection of local and international artwork and jewelry.

From there we went on to Trinidad and had Mexican food at Tequilas’s Family Restaurant. The place was hopping! We all enjoyed our different dishes and we ended with mouth-watering sopapillas.

Then we headed downtown where the three of us ladies shopped until I dropped. Several of the stores were closed because of being Sunday, but we had fun. Our most outrageous fun was an old style photo booth. We crammed the three of us in and took our first pictures which cut two of our heads off. We tried a second time and concentrated on where the camera was! Such a memory maker!

Larada & her two nieces - generation
Larada & her two nieces - generation

Originally we planned to go the movie at the 3:45 PM showing, but our extended shopping downtown messed that up, so we had to move it up to the 6:30 PM time slot. To cool down, we stopped for ice cream at a local shop. Then we went to Big R to see the wares there. I ended up sitting down for most of our time there.

From there we decided to go to the Dollar Tree and enjoyed walking almost the whole store.

We arrived at the theater about an hour ahead of time, so I snuck in a short nap before the movie. With a bucket of popcorn and Fanta Orange drink, I enjoyed the magic of seeing Toothless and Hiccup and their adventures. We sat in a row—three generations enjoying this fun-filled, adventurous movie!

Because of the later showing, we had to drive home in the dark. My nephew spotted a herd of six elk in the road before anyone else—thank God he saw them because that could have been a serious accident.

I’m exhausted but so satisfied with a great time connecting three generations for a lovely day together. The guys waited around for us downtown as we shopped, parked on a bench, but I saw them having fun laughing at crazy videos on my nephew’s phone. All in all, a memorable day! These days are special—make sure you take the time to get a 71 year old aunt and two young great nieces together for fun—and a dad and his son!


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family · Holidays · Memories · Mom · My Thoughts

A Peaceful 4th of July

Lin's luscious garden - a peaceful 4th of July

I enjoyed a peaceful 4th of July morning this year, sitting in Lin’s luscious garden doing my daily Quiet Time which includes Julia Cameron’s practice of “Morning Pages”—three handwritten pages of what’s going on in my life. Then I joined online an international meditation group I belong to and enjoyed an inspirational poem, “Lady Liberty,” then twenty minutes of meditation and then an opportunity to list three ways I saw God working in my life during the last twenty-four hours.

Peaceful, calm! For sure! Normally, I sunbath, starting in May, but I’ve had some health issues the last couple years and haven’t, so I decided it was time to enjoy the sun again. I donned my patriotic two piece red, white and blue bathing suit and soaked up the sun.

For lunch, Lin grilled hot dogs, then we drove to Albuquerque to drop by garden club friends of ours and enjoyed a lively conversation there and a lovely garden full of blooming lilies. This gardener has been one of Lin’s mentors over the years.

For the evening, we had decided a couple days ahead of time we would watch the movie, “Oppenheimer.” In May, I heard the co-author of the book, Kai Bird, talk at the Santa Fe International Literary Festival. His comments ignited my interest, so I bought the book there. Then in the last month, the movie came up on Prime, so we decided to watch it.

Peaceful, calm—it wasn’t! What a sad, horrible treatment of a man who should have been deemed a national hero but the insane “Red Scare” and McCarthyism grilled and grilled him. Watching his metamorphoses, he had to deal with what he had done by being the “Father of the Atomic Bomb.”

“. . .after World War II, Oppenheimer lobbied vigorously for international control of atomic energy, proposing that the Soviet Union and the United States submit to a supranational organization designed to allow sharing of peaceful atomic energy information while keeping weapons development to a monitored minimum.”

https://www.atomicarchive.com/history/hydrogen-bomb/page-15.html 

At the end, both Lin and I felt he got the raw end of the deal. Robert Downey Junior played Lewis Strauss superbly and won an Oscar for his performance. At first, I didn’t want to believe him as a villain because I like him so much, but in the end Downey Junior had us cheering when he lost his appointment he sought to be in Eisenhower’s cabinet.

So, no fireworks—no outlandish party with insane behavior! Just a mindful consideration of a piece of our country’s sad history.

When we were younger, I anticipated the first fireworks of the evening: sparklers that we could draw figure eights in the black sky around us. Then all the families in our little country town pooled their money and bought fireworks for us to enjoy, mostly bottle rockets in the 50s. But they lit up the sky and thrilled the gathered celebrants and me! It seemed magical.

As a child on this celebratory day, I focused on fireworks—Black Cat firecrackers my uncle and aunt brought from New Mexico to us in Colorado because they were illegal there, not peaceful! It fact, that was the farthest thing from my mind—I wanted explosions, noise, family around and fireworks.

Many years, our family and friends gathered and picnicked at the Folsom Falls during the day. I always wore my tennis shoes in the water because of the crawdads. I knew they’d bite my toes. Then we returned home for our firework display.

Cuchara, Colorado on the 4th of July - peaceful
Cuchara, Colorado on the 4th of July

Later over the years, Mom, my brother and I went to Cuchara, Colorado for the 4th of July, a small town in southern Colorado that celebrates this day with a short parade, live music with lots of families and dogs (the Dog Bar encourages people to bring their dogs.). What a cool respite on a hot July day.

First, it was Mom, my brother and I who enjoyed this mountain retreat, starting 2010—cooler weather, fun people and great music. We had so much fun the first time with some rowdy Texan women dancing in the Dog Bar, we had to go back the next year.

Larada playing putt-putt golf - peaceful
Larada playing putt-putt golf

After Mom died, my brother, Lin and I kept up the tradition of going to Cuchara, playing putt-putt golf and dancing at the Dog Bar.

Lin and I at Cuchara, Colorado - peaceful
Lin and I at Cuchara, Colorado

Then my brother’s youngest daughter and her family joined us there. We played putt-putt golf and enjoyed the mountain getaway.

My niece and I all dressed up for the 4th of July - peaceful
My niece and I all dressed up for the 4th of July

In 2018, we moved this celebration to Red River, New Mexico and found out they had more fun activities for my niece’s two young sons. We also had the privilege of attending a Michael Martin Murphy dance/concert at the Mother Lode bar.

Michael Martin Murphy at the Mother Lode - peaceful
Michael Martin Murphy at the Mother Lode

As for so many, the pandemic changed everything, so we stayed away from the mountain resorts where there would be a lot of people gathering. In 2021, my brother’s two daughters brought their families to Branson, Colorado and we went out on the ranch and shot off our fireworks.

Fireworks on our ranch - peaceful
Fireworks on our ranch

For the last couple years, Lin and I have stayed home—peaceful and calm. But I still remember those family-filled holidays with loved ones and am thankful for the memories.

This 4th of July in Lin’s garden and being with him felt good—the right way to celebrate this patriotic day. Peaceful and calm has become something I enjoy these days.

How about you? What did you do for this holiday?


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