Laughter and death: a paradox? For sure, but I had an amazing experience this weekend that gave me a different perspective.
On Friday, April 5, I attended George’s funeral in La Junta, Colorado with my brother. Because of his likable personality, I had a feeling the church would be full, so we arrived about thirty minutes early. Pickup trucks lined the street—I was right. As we approached the church’s entry, people milled around at the door. People packed the entryway. Friends and family already filled the sanctuary, so we ended up in the Choir Loft.
What a nice service he had. They had beautiful country and western songs throughout the service like “Wherever You are Tonight” and a traditional one, “Precious Lord, Take My Hand.” A close friend shared stories about George that made us laugh and remember his great sense of humor—also his love for storytelling. The minister shared a short sermon. The service ended with a PowerPoint show with more country-western music.
Then on Saturday, April 6, they planned a graveside service which led me to write the following poem:
Is Death a Laughing Matter?
I stood at the crossroads
Between life and death.
It happens a lot now
At 70,
repeatedly.
Yesterday, my brother and I walk by
His wife’s grave as we walked
To George’s graveside service.
I stood near George’s casket
In the country cemetery
Near Branson, Colorado.
I brushed my hand across the edge
Of the blue smooth metal edge—
Like a familiar touch
To a friend’s shoulder
Standing nearby.
March winds blew
Across the southeastern Colorado plains,
Swirling dust and grit,
With a piercing cold edge,
Adding to my grief.
A sea of faces watched
The day blow by.
Some familiar—lifelong friends—
Some not!
I sought out his family.
I wanted to hug them,
To share their sorrow,
To touch George through them again.
I met his 89-year-old sister
I had heard of
But didn’t know.
She left Branson the year
Before I was born.
Excessive strong wind gusts hampered
The solemn ceremony planned.
A short thoughtful prayer filled the air instead.
Then the music began,
With somber lyrics,
Country-western flavor
Guitars and familiar sounds.
Tears ran down my cheeks.
Sorrow for the loss
Of a dear lifelong friend.
Sorrow and regrets for
No more of his stories.
As the last song started up, I recognized its intro
And singer, Joe Diffie.
I gasped; in the midst of tears,
I choked back a chuckle.
The chorus confirmed it: “Prop me up beside
the jukebox if I die.”
In the howling wind, I strained to hear the first verse,
But the chorus captured me
And everyone there.
Laughter erupted—
Release
Appropriate humor
Through her tears, his partner
Announced,
“George planned it all!”
At that point,
I laughed;
I cried.
The laughter comforted me,
because
George taught me a meaningful lesson yesterday:
Tears
Laughter
Death
Life
It fits together,
Not a paradox,
But life
Reality!
I witnessed an honest
Graveside service,
Not contrived
Solemn
But mixed with
Laughter and tears.
Isn’t that life?
Now it’s death for me!
Thank you, George,
Laughter and death mixed,
And I walked away smiling
Because of you!
In closing, as I age and continue to lose close friends and family, death has become a hot topic. George’s graveside service helped me get it all in perspective—be sure the celebration of your life reflects who you really are! And for me, poetry captures the essence of any life event!
Two Loveland girlfriends continue to be a part of my life forty years later! I continue with my Women’s History Month focus. We meet once a month on Zoom, and yesterday we met and I interviewed them for this blog post! Here they are: Lynn Hafer and Sherrie Crandal!
Loveland Friend, Lynn Hafer
Lynn & Larada Smiling in 2018Larada Goofing around with Lynn in 2018
Lynn and I met in 1979 when my first husband and I moved to Loveland, Colorado. She worked at a real estate office part time and greeted us warmly. She worked full time as a lab tech. Being hospitable, Lynn asked us about any church affiliation. We told her we had already connected with the priest at All Saints, the Episcopal church there. Excited, she said, “That’s where I go!” And from then on, I saw her weekly and our friendship grew.
Later that year, my first husband and I planned a trip to Mexico, and because of her extensive travel experience, Lynn guided us in our first international trip and a second one later—wise suggestions that helped me a lot then and I continue to use to this day.
After my first divorce, Lynn and I became travel partners, venturing to the Mexican Yucatan peninsula several times. From my first sight of Mayan ruins, I was hooked! After our trips to several sites there—Cobá, Chicken Itza, and Tulum, we decided to visit the biggest Mayan ruin in Guatemala in Tikal which was our last international trip!
That trip turned out to be a trip of a lifetime! On the first leg of the trip, we flew into Guatemala City and caught a boat out to Cay Caulker to spend a relaxing week on the island, snorkeling and enjoying the tropical setting. Then we rode the Batty Brothers Bus service from Guatemala City to catch a plane to Tikal. The oversized ruins overwhelmed the jungle and delighted us so.
Larada on top of Tikal, GuatemalaLynn Goofing around on top of Tikal, Guatemala
(This afternoon, I grabbed my photo album of our Guatemala trip and would have shared more photos, but the snow has blocked our StarLink connection and I can’t scan them!)
After each trip, we came home with hilarious stories and experiences, like the time we added an ex-nun and ex-priest who married to our entourage to go see Chicken Itza. At that time, Mexico had a gas shortage, and he tried to help us siphon some gas and sucked on the hose too hard and ingested gas—Ugh!
During our first trip to Mexico, Lynn taught me how to compromise. We ended up at Playa del Carmen when we thought we were going to be in Cancun. Some experienced travelers advised us to rent a car in Cancun and enjoy that side of the peninsula, so we did! I desperately wanted to go Chicken Itza, but we had received some advice from locals not to drive the “short cut” there because of “the banditos,” but we were running out of time. The longer route would take more time. Lynn showed me how to weigh the pros and cons, to be honest about what I wanted and to compromise! I had never experienced anything like that in my young life (I was about 28-30 years old at the time).
On our last trip in 1990, we did a “Tony Hillerman” tour of Arizona and New Mexico, camping out at the Grand Canyon and Canyon de Chelly. What a time we had!
Yesterday, Lynn shared a story about me talking in my sleep on many of our trips, but sited one particular event. I raised up in bed and told her there was someone in the room. She told me no there wasn’t and to go back to sleep—and I did!
Lynn has two sons, and I have been especially close to her youngest, Chris, who joined our conversation yesterday!
Lynn and I stayed connected over the years with her a regular at two of my weddings: to Mike in 1992 and to Lin in 2011 when she was one of my bride maids. In 2011, we introduced Lynn to square dancing at our wedding and she went home and started lessons!
Larada, Lin, Lynn & Mom in Branson
When Lynn joined me in Branson, Colorado, it was always a treat and Mom loved her dearly. Over the years, I stopped in at her home in Loveland traveling with my ex-husband and his family, with Mom on a couple of trips and with Lin! Lynn’s hospitality always welcomed me back.
Loveland Friend, Sherrie Crandal
In 1982, I went back to school at Colorado State University in Fort Collins, Colorado to become a teacher. I bought a mobile home with two extra bedrooms. My God provided me with the best roommates in Sherrie Crandal and her son, Aaron that year.
We met at All Saints Episcopal church and became fast friends. Not having children, I wondered about taking in a woman with a youngster as a roommate. It turned out to be an amazing blessing.
Christmas 1982, I had strep throat really bad, and we planned to go home to Branson. So, Sherrie drove, and I watched a horrible snowstorm following us down the front range of the Rocky Mountains in Colorado. The storm hit after we arrived, so we celebrated a beautiful, white Christmas. Dad thoroughly enjoyed taking them out on the ranch in the snow.
Aaron & Sherrie in Branson for Christmas in 1982
Sherrie remembered all the food Mom had prepared for just us! And I remember Sherrie getting up Christmas Eve morning and making a Christmas Tree Coffee Cake to die for!
She reminded me of a party I hosted with my international friends from the university with no alcohol and what a great time it was!
Sherrie and Aaron stayed with me for about two years, and this living arrangement helped us both financially and emotionally. I was recently divorced and hurting. They were new to Loveland, and being a single mom, she needed the financial help too. Sherrie and Aaron repeatedly filled my home with love and laughter. They went to Branson with me to visit my folks, and we enjoyed dancing at Branson dances. They left Loveland in 1990 for Arizona to live near her mother.
When I married Mike in 1992, Sherrie and Aaron came from Arizona to the wedding in Albuquerque, but we lost contact for almost thirty years. I sent her my yearly Christmas letter and card, but we had no conversations about major life events.
During those absent thirty years, Sherrie got her teaching degree in early childhood development and a masters degree in special education.
Then the pandemic hit! Because Lin and I took the shelter-in-place mandate seriously, we isolated here in our mountain home. The isolation set me to thinking about key people in my life I had lost contact with, and Sherrie came to mind. So, I emailed her about doing a Zoom meeting.
After our first one, which was full of ohs and ahs about our lives, we added Lynn Hafer and the three of us have met monthly since 2020! During each gathering, we updated each other on our lives. We laugh a lot. We share titles of books we’re reading, and we love each other.
I’ve known both of these amazing women for over forty years. Yesterday, when they were sharing stories about our lives together for this blog, we laughed—I grabbed my face and shrieked at some of those memories I had forgotten. Forty years, they have known me and loved me.
Finally, Happy St. Patrick’s Day to you! I hope you celebrated your Irish heritage today, even if you have none! And remember to celebrate all of your friends, especially those who have known you through thick and thin, like my two Loveland girlfriends!
I’m in 4th place in the third round! I’m getting closer to clinch the “Cover of the Month” contest on AllAuthor! I need as much support from you guys as possible. Please take a short moment to vote for my book cover here: https://allauthor.com/cover-of-the-month/17423/
Margaret Lewis taught me to knit—a lifelong hobby I love! I continue celebrating Women’s History Month, and my personal heroines! Today, I honor Margaret Lewis, a lifelong friend and my Home Ec 4-H leader. I knit because of her!
This afternoon, I had a delightful conversation with Margaret Lewis and found out a bunch of information I didn’t know about her. When I stopped outside her house, childhood memories flooded me. During my childhood, Harry and Bea Warner lived in the house Margaret now lives in. I used to visit them regularly to get eggs. Such strong connections with the Warners and Margaret!
When I knocked at her door, she waved me in and we greeted each other warmly— she looked so good at 99 years old. Immediately, I started the interview and she aptly answered most of the questions with giggles and sighs ever so often.
FAMILY LIFE
Margaret Oxandaburu was born June 7, 1924 in Las Animas, Colorado. Her parents immigrated from France. They were French Basque. Her parents didn’t meet until they arrived in Las Animas and were there because of a couple, John & Jean Mary, who sponsored the two to come to the United States. This couple was called her parent’s “home parents.”
She was the youngest of six girls and grew up on their ranch south of Kim, Colorado, but her dad bought a house in Trinidad, 410 College Street. He took the six girls to Trinidad where she attended Holy Trinity Catholic School from kindergarten through twelfth grade.
After high school graduation, the six girls went to Trinidad State Junior College. Afterwards, Margaret went to Denver, Colorado to live with her sister Mary and husband Kenneth where she attended DU for several semesters. Then she finished her degree at Greeley with an elementary education certification.
After college, Margaret returned to their home ranch and rode a horse one to two miles to teach at Fallah Springs’ school for her first teaching assignment. Fallah Springs was fourteen miles south and east of Kim.
LEADING UP TO MARRIED LIFE
She met Don Lewis when he came home after the service. By that time, Margaret had several years of teaching under her belt. Also, by then she taught at Branson, Colorado. Because of the shortage of teachers with the men off to war, she taught English, history and math in the high school.
Branson Hotel & Restaurant
At this time, she lived in the hotel ran by Mrs. Shaw which also had a restaurant. Two women teachers lived there: she and Clara Van Matre (who was a dear friend of my parents and our family). These two young women walked to school each morning together.
Don Lewis’ parents owned the ranch presently owned by Will Ward north of Branson. Margaret’s sister, Ray, and her husband, Toy, owned it for most of my life.
Don and Margaret married January 17, 1944 at Holy Trinity Church in Trinidad, Colorado. They had two children: Dave and Lori. Margaret lost both Don and Dave. But her family has grown exponential: she has seventeen grandchildren. Her daughter and husband live in Branson and take good care of her. And her grandchildren regularly keep in touch. Her eyes sparkled with pride when she talked of their accomplishments.
As she thought back over her life here in Branson, Margaret noted she taught over fifty years in Trinidad, Fallah Springs and Branson. She remembered a memorable trip to France with her granddaughter Kerry and her husband, Jacob. And she noted she easily conversed in Basque there.
4-H LIFE
Margaret led 4-H groups in Trinidad at East Side school when she taught there, but her longest run as a 4-H leader was in Branson, where she so deeply touched my life.
Thinking back, she remarked, “I taught a lot of girls to knit,” as we talked about her 4-H groups.
“You taught me to knit when I was ten,” I replied, “and I’m still knitting sixty years later.” Margaret taught me and her niece and my classmate, Kay, the same year to knit.
However, we didn’t talk about all the hours she taught me to sew, too! First year I made a red gingham apron, the requirement for the first year. Each year afterwards, the requirements got harder, and she continued to teach me more and more—how to put in a zipper, gather a skirt and so much more. Margaret dedicated hours to me and many others, teaching us individually!
OTHER MEMORIES
When I asked her about her favorite memory about Branson, she sighed, “I have so many. It’s a charming little town.”
I knew she had a close relationship with Ray, her sister, who lived in the old Lewis place north of Branson. She shared a hilarious story: they each had two-way-radios. So, when they talked on them, they talked in Basque. Other, listening in, heard them and had no idea what they were saying and these two mischievous women loved that. Margaret also helped Ray out with her nine children.
Her niece, Kay, and I were in the same class, so I was with them often. When I joined them on trips to Trinidad, they stopped by 410 College Street to visit Grandma Oxandaburu and Uncle Cadet. I remember hearing them speak Basque and they taught me how to say “hello” to them in Basque. It sounded so luscious! Uncle Cadet was her dad’s brother and they had worked together. She noted he was a bachelor.
ON LEAVINGMARGARET TODAY
Before I left, she asked about my husband, Lin, remembering sitting next to him at the banquet at the prom at the school several years ago. She reminisced about watching my parents dance. I have known her my whole life. As we talked, she’d forget some details and said, “I’ll remember when we circle back.” What a memory she has for 99 years!
We ended our visit with her identifying five languages she can speak: French Basque, French, Spanish, English and Italian—what an amazing woman! As I gathered my things, we hugged a couple times, lingering over the memories and our sweet relationship. We moved to the front door, still holding on to more memories and relationships. I updated her on my family.
Yes, Margaret has always been a heroine of mine. This gentle, quiet, loving woman taught me so much, but more importantly—loved me and encouraged me my whole life! I look forward to big celebration in June of 100th birthday!
Did you have an adult in your childhood that not only taught you skills but so much more? Let me know.
~ My book cover of Hair on Fire made it to the 2nd Round: Out of 100 covers only top 50 covers will go to the next round. Voting time again. Vote my book cover at #CoverOfTheMonth. https://allauthor.com/cover-of-the-month/17423/
Last year during March I celebrated women in my life, not well-known women but family and friends. Looking at women in my life, I truly enjoyed honoring those women who touched me in a special way. I want to continue that tradition this year.
So, this year I want to honor my childhood and lifelong friend, Candy McMillan Vargas.
Candy was born on July 8, 1952, and my brother, Harold (Bub) was born May 25, 1952. Our mothers enjoyed being young pregnant women together, telling hilarious stories about getting their car stuck in the mud with their enormous bellies. Candy’s dad and my dad were best friends. So, we grew up together.
For many years, Candy and I were the only girls in Branson, Colorado, a small ranching town. So, I remember my early playtime with her—donning our mom’s dresses, hats, and shoes. Then we threw purses over our shoulders. Those female items transported us to be Ethel and Lucy for sure.
Dressed up at the Sweetheart dance to gather donations
So much of my childhood memories center on Candy and her family. They owned the grocery store in Branson, so we visited often. Also, back then, people visited each other’s houses in the evening.
Candy’s dad shared the same date as my birthday, June 27, so he and I had a special gift exchange each year—another thing that tied our families together.
Group of cheerleaders – 1963-64. Candy bottom row, second from the right & me first on the right
Candy moved away about the time she was twelve, but we didn’t lose contact. One morning she arrived at our doorstep at 6:00 AM, having just jumped off the train to come and see us. We felt like she was family.
Candy moved back to Trinidad, Colorado and graduated from high school there. We ended up going to Trinidad State Junior College together her last year, then she moved to Pueblo, Colorado. Candy was maid-of-honor at my first and second wedding. For my last wedding to Lin, she had passed away six weeks before.
She married Michael Vargas in Pueblo, and I was her matron-of-honor. Then they moved to Denver, just a few short blocks from where my first husband and I lived. I celebrated with her and Michael when their children, Sonia and Shane, were born.
When I graduated in 1986 from Colorado State University, Mom and Dad hosted a major shindig at a bar I frequented often, and Candy catered the delicious meal. She also partied like a crazy lady with me to celebrate my big day.
Candy listened to all my woes about my first husband, our marriage and divorce. After our divorce and my graduation from Fort Collins, Colorado, I lived with her and Michael for six months to get established in Denver because I got a teaching job there. I will always treasure those six months living with her and her family—special fun family times like cheering on the Broncos on Sundays and weekly watching Cheers, one of our favorite TV shows at the time. She always came to my rescue and added to my life.
When I moved to Raton, New Mexico, she continued having me cut her hair every six weeks and lined up enough friends to get perms and cuts to make my trip profitable. (I was a beautician for 14 years before becoming a teacher.).
Candy & me at Cripple Creek, Colorado celebrating my birthday
In 2005, when Lela, my sister-in-law died, we had a second funeral and her burial in Branson. Candy brought a tent to set up out in the backyard because of the hot July weather and helped Mom and I handle the meal after the service.
Diagnosed with kidney cancer, a group of her friends bought these “Team Candy Rocks!” t-shirts to support her. She loved the idea. I still have my “Team Candy Rocks!” t-shirt tucked away in a safe place.
Mom & I in our Team Candy Rocks T-shirts
Candy died September 13, 2011, and I had been experiencing some strange health episodes. The night she died, I had one of the worst ones yet at a square dance. After calling 911, I went to the hospital. They found nothing identifiably wrong, but my doctor strongly suggested I not drive to Denver, Colorado for her funeral on September 19. So, I didn’t, but I took the day off from work and had a private ceremony I prepared at home by myself. That broke my heart not to honor her by attending! I will always regret not saying goodbye formally to her and her family I love so much. Sonia, her daughter, told me later they had a rose for me to lay on her coffin at the burial site. Candy’s daughter takes after her mother in so many ways!
Candy’s hilarious sense-of-humor and jokes, her delicious home-cooked meals steeped in Texan traditions and her deep friendship remind me daily of my dear friend. I still see her sparkling eyes and hear her contagious laughter and know that I am a better person for having known her and been loved by her. Thank you, Candy, for everything you did.
Yes, March is here again, and I have looked forward to this time of honoring the women in my life. Candy holds a high place of honor for me!
Do you have a woman in your life you need to honor this month? Because of her death, I lost the opportunity of doing this while she lived, but it’s never too late. Be sure and honor the women in your life today!
Rose Ward comes to my mind as I continue to celebrate National Women’s History Month, and focus on the women in my history. The other four women I’ve written about this month are gone, but Rose lives on at 94 years old! And she’s quite a woman!
Rose was born December 14, 1928, in a boxcar in Watervale, Colorado, a spot on the railroad lien between Trinchera and Branson, the town I grew up in. Her family lived in a boxcar there for many years because the railroad provided them for the workers. Often, she caught the train to Trinidad there to pay the family bills. Then, moving from the boxcar, they lived in a rock house owned by the Doherty’s for many years in Watervale.
This fascinates me because I have only known Watervale as a ghost town or small settlement.
Rose’s dad worked for the railroad—he started at thirteen and worked for fifty-two years. Watervale was a water stop on the line, a necessity for the railroad cars back then. She had two brothers and two sisters. I, not only grew up with Rose’s children, but her brother Hildo’s, too.
From Watervale, her family moved to Trinchera and bought a bar. She met Tom Ward, her future husband, at her parents’ bar there. She remembers he rode up on horseback, a real cowboy.
Tom asked Rose’s dad if they could marry. On December 20, 1952, Tom came for her, and her mom wasn’t even awake yet. Rose wore a beautiful black dress. As they drove to Raton, New Mexico, to be wed, the car stopped and they had to crank it. She worried about it stopping, but it finally started up and they made it to Raton and wed. The young couple had a second wedding at the Catholic church in Trinchera.
During their young married life, they lived out on a ranch where she had to haul water and use an outhouse. Rose had had enough.
“Take me home,” she told Tom. So, he gave her a sizeable check and took her to her parents.
When she arrived home, she told her dad, “I left Tom.”
He had a quick response, “Go back to Tom!” so away she went.
So, Tom changed ranches, and their next home had another problem—skunks! So, Rose left again to her mother’s. Then, Tom changed ranches again and found a wonderful spot with Tom and Jack Morrow.
Tom and Rose raised four children. Tom passed away on October 23, 2003. They have ten grandchildren, twenty great-grandchildren and two great great-grandchildren. You can see that Rose enjoys her large family by all of her pictures surrounding her in her home today.
Rose also gave foster children a home, so many she can’t count them!
Growing up, I remember Rose in my life mostly as the mother of my classmates and friends. I got more acquainted with her after my dad died in 1996. She had moved to Branson, and Mom and Rose became close friends. Yes, they were friends for decades before that, but these two widows became extremely close in the loss of their husbands. Rose helped Mom with her loss of dad. They had daily contact and helped ease the horrible loneliness of women who had spent decades with their husbands.
Rose enjoyed going to our ranch with Mom. Often, these two small powerful women sat on Mom’s front porch facing a busy county road, drinking beer or Tequila Rose and not acting like grieving widows. They both had rascally personalities and fed off of each other. Supporting small town life, they went to school activities together and just had fun together.
Since Mom died in 2013, I try to visit Rose anytime I’m in Branson. We laugh, have ice cream or any of her delicious desserts, and talk about Mom and the gossip of town. Any time Rose reminisces about her childhood or younger life with Tom, I sit back and enjoy the tale. What a different time that was! I can’t imagine Branson without Rose.
What a hard worker Rose has been as long as I have known her, whether it’s cooking up dozens of tamales or cleaning someone’s house. She just offered to clean my house this past week! Amazing!
My husband, Lin, loves to be with Rose, discussing their gardening interests. He also loves to dance with her, as shown in this picture at the Branson-Trinchera Reunion.
Lin and Rose Dancing!
Rose defies the stamp of what 94 years old looks like. She lives alone, cooks delicious Mexican delicacies like tamales and sopapillas and still takes care of herself. Each morning she starts her day off with a cup of coffee with her son, then her daughter checks on her in the evenings and provides an evening meal if needed. Her out-of-town family members visit often, and she has pictures up of all her precious children.
She still does embroidery work and likes to keep a jigsaw puzzle going. In the evening, I often catch her watching her favorite Spanish Telenovela, and she has bought each one of my books!
Her laughter, her mischievous twinkle in her eyes and her loving, giving heart makes me choke up here in writing this!
What women in your history make you smile? Tell me about her/them!
In collaboration with Rose’s daughter, Jackie Mock
If you missed my other National Women’s History Month celebrations of four amazing women, here are the links:
All available at my website: laradasbooks.com or Amazon.com
~For me, it’s Christmas all year long!Here’s a variety of Christmas greetings from Flippo & Neeca, featuring his song, “When It’s Christmas Time in Texas”: https://youtu.be/mpJCUGffU3A
Grab a cup of coffee and enjoy a chapter!
~My new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? WON the 2022 New Mexico-Arizona Book Awards in the Body, Mind & Spirit Category. Have you bought your copy yet?Vist my website: laradasbooks.com or at Amazon.
A relaxed time with a latte and Flippo!
~Have you bought a copy of Flippo’s biography yet? Believe it or not—it’s been three years. Go here for your hardback or paperback: https://www.laradasbooks.com or at Amazon.
Mom with her Panda hat on!Mom at a Branson-Trinchera Reunion!Mom with horseshoe sunglasses
March—Women’s History Month! Did you know that? What a thrilling discovery! So, over the next four weeks, I plan on celebrating four women in my life and history. Some are dead; some are still alive! It doesn’t matter because they still have had an intact on me!
First, here’s a great resource with pictures from Dr. Carla Hayden, 14th Librarian of Congress to Sojourner Truth, three-quarter length portrait, standing, wearing spectacles, shawl and peaked cap, right hand resting on cane. What a wide variety of pictures of women in our history. Look at: https://womenshistorymonth.gov/about/
Now, more focused for me—where else would I start the celebration of women? My Mom—Elva Marie Dickerson Horner. Celebrating her this month has a poignant ring to it—she died March 23, 2013, ten years ago! In so many ways, that’s hard to believe! It seems longer; yet it seems like yesterday.
On March 23, 2013, at 5:10 pm, Dad and Jesus won—Dad had waited up there for seventeen long years to dance with the love of his life again. Jesus agreed with him, and the pull towards heaven won, and Mom passed from this world to the next.
Let’s Start at the Beginning
Elva Marie Dickerson Horner was born on September 24, 1928 to Virgil and Tresia Dickerson in Des Moines, NM. Mom joined her 9-year-old sister, Willa Lee.
Aunt Willie and Mom
Being the youngest child in the Dickerson home, Willa Lee tells a story about Mom: “when we went to the post office she would lie down on me—on the ground and throw a fit. I reached inside the fence and got me a switch. (Pause) She didn’t do that again.”
Living through the depression, Mom endured a hard life, living in a shack with dirt floors. Grandma would wet the dirt down and pack it hard, and Mom got in trouble for digging little holes afterwards.
Her Marriage and Family Life is Coming!
Mom loved to dance her whole life. A certain cowboy caught her eye at a dance. She noticed his unique dance style. At the Robin Hood Bar in Raton, New Mexico, he crossed the dance floor towards her. She knew he was going to ask her to dance. Then she panicked, and the romance of a lifetime started with Harold Horner, my dad. They dated; they danced!
Dad and Mom on their wedding day
Then, Dad and Mom were married on August 28, 1951 in Raton, New Mexico. Their married life that would span 45 years had begun. Mom immediately became stepmother to three small children and faced the trials of being a stepmom, but the children lived with their mom in Denver. They visited Mom and Dad regularly.
As newlyweds, they moved in with Dad’s parents in Branson, Colorado, and experience a small-town tradition—chevarier. Friends short-sheeted the beds, removed labels off all the canned goods, and Mom, the bride, had a wheelbarrow ride around town. Dad’s parents had the joy (and despair) of sharing this country tradition and all the effects.
Then Dad and Mom bought their own first home from the Stephenson’s a few months later—lock, stock & barrel. After the birth of my brother and me (thirteen months later), Mom’s family was intact! Her family grew with marriages, then nine grandchildren came, and then fifteen great grandchildren. She celebrated each addition to our family, so I witnessed a woman dedicated to her family.
Mom cherished family get-togethers and holidays. Her father-in-law, Laurence, loved to have family get-togethers at our house because of Mom’s cooking and hospitality!
Her Life in The Community
Lots of life happened in Branson through the years. Mom enjoyed not only her own children, but my brother’s and my friends in the community. She was happiest when her kitchen and adjacent dining room were full of young people. Mom maintained close relationships with many of these children into their adulthood.
After Granddad Horner died, Mom became Dad’s right-hand man, able to do anything on the ranch. She worked hard! In fact, in 1989, she fell off of a haystack and broke her wrist when I was teaching in Raton, New Mexico, right before shipping time. So, several rancher’s wives and I stepped in and helped cook and serve the meal to the shipping crew.
As Dad’s health worsened, I watched Mom lovingly cared for him until the end. What an example of dedicated love!
Mom’s Interests
Mom had a variety of interests:
She was an avid sports fan of all Branson sports. When Bub played, she yelled loudly at basketball games, drowning out other parents. For many years, Mom sat in the same place every game with a dear friend.
In the 70s, Mom got interested in genealogy and researched both the Dickerson and Horner sides extensively. In 1999, we traveled to Eastern Europe because of her genealogy interests, looking for connections to her granddad, who immigrated here as a castaway with no records of entry into the US. Today, I cherish her black ledger with all of her records. I joined her in this interest and have entered her data into an app on my computer, Family Tree Maker.
Girlfriends have been a part of Mom’s life forever: Ellen Berry in high school; Clara Warner, Nancy Salas & Mokey McMillan years ago; Helen Waldroup; Betty Clark and Rose Ward.
Learn More About Mom
Mom had an abiding faith and became baptized and a faithful member of the Des Moines, New Mexico Methodist church, attending every Sunday with her niece and her husband. She looked forward to the time after church when a group went to a local restaurant for lunch—and a little gossiping! Her faith lasted until the end.
All of us have evidence of Mom’s beautiful handiworks: afghans, quilts, Christmas ornaments and more.
I remember Mom as quite the prankster—she loved a good practical joke. If you fell asleep at her house in the living room, a good chance you would end up with whipped cream on your nose! That is just one of her many tricks!
Often when I was with Mom, I enjoyed the privilege of hearing her laughter, so rich and inviting, seeing her eyes twinkle and her joy for living.
Mom and I in our matching Christmas Outfits
As you can see, Mom touched my life and many others. She formed me and others to be the women we are today, and I will be forever grateful for my mom! So be sure to celebrate the women in your life this month by doing something special for them.
Mom’s Purple Bear
Recently my husband, Lin, went through our house collecting things for a rummage sale for the Garden Center in Albuquerque. I had a purple bear on the bed in our guest bedroom I gave Mom in her dying days. Somehow the purple bear ended up in a stack of stuffed toys, and he took it to the rummage sale to sell.
Afterwards we were in the guest bedroom, and I looked at bed and realized the purple bear had disappeared. Then I looked at the top of the bookshelf where the other various stuffed toys had ended and they were gone. I realized our house cleaners probably put the bear up with the others innocently.
When I told him where I thought the precious purple bear ended up, he returned to the sale before it started, went through bags and found it. He received cheers from the workers there because he had told them, “I have to save my marriage. I have to find that bear!”
Mom embrace that bear tightly in the hospital after I gave it to her, and we kept it near her until her dying day. Lin blessed my heart with his extreme effort to retrieve it!
Finally,
What women are you celebrating this month? Have you even thought about it? Which woman has influenced you? Why?
All available at my website: laradasbooks.com or Amazon.com
~For me, it’s Christmas all year long!Here’s a variety of Christmas greetings from Flippo & Neeca, featuring his song, “When It’s Christmas Time in Texas”: https://youtu.be/mpJCUGffU3A
Grab a cup of coffee and enjoy a chapter!
~My new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? WON the 2022 New Mexico-Arizona Book Awards in the Body, Mind & Spirit Category. Have you bought your copy yet?Vist my website: laradasbooks.com or at Amazon.
A relaxed time with a latte and Flippo!
~Have you bought a copy of Flippo’s biography yet? Believe it or not—it’s been three years. Go here for your hardback or paperback: https://www.laradasbooks.com or at Amazon.
Give away a Christmas tree? Why would anyone do that? When I first came to Albuquerque, NM in 1991 as a classroom teacher, I started a tradition in my classroom. Each year, I put up a Christmas tree, then gave it away to one of my students before our Christmas vacation. Early in December, I’d have them put their names in a hat, and we’d draw the lucky winner. I taught in a low-income school and many of my students’ families struggled with the basics. A Christmas tree was a luxury and a fresh cut one was a novelty.
In 1991 and throughout the time I taught, we had no problem putting up a Christmas tree in our classrooms and I dressed in my Christmas outfits, starting the first Monday after Advent. Today, I know that teachers can’t do this, which is really sad for me!
I will never forget that first year of seeing the lucky student whose name I drew. He was the winner! Several students helped me un-decorate the tree, and he convinced friends to help him carry the tree home. As I looked out the window, the smiles and excitement that the group exhibited warmed my heart. After that first year, I knew I had found a grand tradition to continue!
How did I come about having an extra tree each year to giveaway?
My parents had a family ranch in southeastern Colorado and northeastern New Mexico. Growing up, we went out to the ranch and cut our own tree each year. What memories I have! My dad always wanted a tall one; Mom wanted one that sit on the coffee table! So, during the year, Mom and I scouted out where the “good” Christmas trees were. Then my parents filled the actual trip with lots of good-hearted bantering, but Dad won—always!
So when I moved to Albuquerque, I went home for Thanksgiving. During that weekend, we went out to the ranch and cut down two trees—one for my home and one for my classroom.
I loved those trips out to our ranch, cutting down a fresh tree. Dad, Mom and I made a great excursion out of it. On previous trips out there, we had already decided where the best pinon pine trees were. Dad started the sawing, but because of his breathing issues and his age, I usually helped. And yes, we always got sap on our hands—what a delicious smell, but sticky mess!
Finally,
I felt privileged to giveaway a Christmas tree to one of my students. What a rewarding experience it was!
Is a Christmas tree giveaway something special? I thought it was, especially after seeing my students’ smiles. Have you ever given a Christmas tree away? If so, what was the effect?
~For me, it’s Christmas all year long!Here’s a variety of Christmas greetings from Flippo & Neeca, featuring his song, “When It’s Christmas Time in Texas”: https://youtu.be/mpJCUGffU3A
~My new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? WON the 2022 New Mexico-Arizona Book Awards in the Body, Mind & Spirit Category. Have you bought your copy yet?Vist my website: laradasbooks.com
~Have you bought a copy of Flippo’s biography yet? Believe it or not—it’s been two years. Go here for your hardback or paperback: https://www.laradasbooks.com or at Amazon.
On Friday, July 29, I returned to Colorado for a fun-filled time with my brother. We took our cousin Lisa to Cuchara, Colorado, on Saturday. Then Sunday we rose early and drove to Denver to see the Colorado Rockies play the Dodgers. Then, Monday morning, we got up and went to the Denver Broncos Training Camp! We explored the beautiful Colorado mountains and then went on to Denver and a sports adventure! What fun we had!
Cuchara, Colorado with Lisa
Dog BarMy brother, me & Lisa at lunch in the Dog Bar
On July 25, 2022, I received this text from Lisa: “Are you in Branson or back in Tijeras?”
I let her know I plan to go to Branson the next day and found out she would be in the area for a while, so we agreed to find some time together.
When I arrived in Branson on Friday, July 29, my brother and I put together plans for the next couple of days.
“How about we take Lisa to Cuchara tomorrow?” He asked. I texted her, and we made our plans.
I said, “Let’s go to the Bronco’s Training Camp on Monday.” My brother stated, “If we’re going to Denver, why not go to a Rockies’ baseball game on Sunday?” So the die was cast!
On Saturday morning, Lisa met us in Branson, we left Branson at 9:30 am and drove to Cuchara, a lovely drive west of Trinidad through the mountains. We stopped by Monument Lake, driving around the lake and marveling at the high level of water in the lake. Then we drove by North Lake and I reminisced about attending church camp at Camp Salvation near the lake.
From there we drove to Stonewall, Colorado and stopped at the store there, a favorite of ours for fun touristy items. It was on to Cuchara where we toured some stores. We ate lunch at the Dog Bar outside on the patio, enjoying all the dogs and their owners at this fun-loving bar.
After lunch, we continued our shopping tour and ended up at the Yacht Club for a drink and more conversation. My brother and I so enjoy any time we have with Lisa!
On the drive home, my brother saw a bear, but Lisa and I, heavy in conversation, didn’t see it, so we turned around to find this wildlife, but we didn’t. We hit a heavy rainstorm which we all celebrated because of the need for rain.
What a delightful time we had with Lisa in our favorite funky mountain town.
Trip to Denver & Colorado Rockies Game
On Sunday morning, we left Branson at 7:00 am, just in case there was any traffic issues on I-25 northbound. Because it’s a four hour drive, we cushioned the arrival time, just in case. It was a pleasant trip with no problems.
Once we got to Denver, finding Coors Field became a major task. My brother thought there would be signage up on I-25, but there was nothing. My Car Play app on my Jeep and iPhone weren’t working correctly, so that added to the confusion. After wandering around downtown, finally we found the Coors Field’s parking lot, parked and caught the shuttle to the field.
Because we arrived early, we had lots of time to walk around the stadium and enjoy the sights. We each bought a foot-long hotdog and delicious fries for lunch. After eating, we went to the store and looked around, but fans overflowed, so we got out quickly.
Then we went upstairs to the Rooftop Bar and took pictures. Up on that level, purple seats identify “A Mile High” in that level.
Me & My Brother near the Rooftop BarPurple Seats One Mile High
What a hot day! 90 degrees and we were in the sun for most of the game. I enjoyed the game, having bought a score sheet and pencil so I would watch it closer. When we were in high school, I kept a score book for my brother’s games and gave it to him as a graduation gift, but he had to help me with some notations—too many years away from baseball!
My brother is a San Francisco Giants fan, so he didn’t want the Dodgers to win, but they did and there were Dodger fans everywhere!
After the game we found our hotel, but it wasn’t where we thought it was going to be—within blocks of Dove Valley and the Bronco Training Camp the next morning. We had a delicious Mexican dinner at the Hacienda Colorado next door and spent the evening relaxing and watching TV.
Denver Broncos Training Camp, Denver, Colorado
Me and My Brother Waiting in Line for the Broncos Training Camp
On Monday morning, we again got up early, grabbed a ridiculously minimalist breakfast at the hotel and drove to Dove Valley. We arrived before the parking opened next to the training camp, so we parked some ways away and walked.
By doing that, we got in line ahead of those parking close to the camp. We waited in line from 8:00 – 9:00 am. When they opened the gate, the workers controlled the crowd, and we had front-row seats (on grass). Then, we had to wait another hour before it started. The Broncos provided free water and also had plenty of misters where fans could cool down.
Being avid Bronco fans, my brother and I have wanted to attend training camp for years, but it never worked out before. What an experience!
See the sea of orange behind me!Selfie of me and my brotherThe field is right there!
There we sat in the blazing, scorching sun—ended up being 94 degrees! I wore a bare shoudlers top—I have no idea what I was thinking! But I did have a light hoodie with me and I alternately draped it over my shoulders and then my legs.
The whole thing fascinated me with all the veteran players I love and the new players vying for a position on the team. When Russell Wilson, our new quarterback gained from Seattle, came on the field, the crowd exploded.
For most of it, we could clearly see the drills and the running backs were so close, it was exceptional. Onedrill they did farther away with the non-players standing between us and the action. That drug on and on!
Our kicker, Brandon McManus, entertained the crowd during one part. He got fairly close to us and kicked the football into the crowd. Fans threw it back to him, then he moved farther back and kicked again. This went on for quite a while.
Jerry Jeudy High FivingK J Hamler High Fiving
At the end, some players came by all us crazy fans lined up for autographs and high fives. My brother still for the high fives but gave up for the autographs. I got a few.
Russell practiced with two receivers right in front of us for a long time after the autograph time began and regular practice ended. Then he took off his helmet and started autographs at the end of line to the right of me.
Hot, tired and not feeling optimistic he’d come as far as where I stood, I gave up and found my brother further up the hill. I went to the bathroom and talked to a woman in there who worked at the camp.
She said I shouldn’t have given up because Russell walks down the entire line and gives autographs to everyone he can! It devastated me! So close to getting his autograph!
On our trip home, we left the craziness of Denver and ate lunch in Castle Rock and drove home. All in all, it was a fantastic time for us, but we both decided we never needed to return to training camp.
Finally,
Are you a sports fan? If so, which team? Which sport?
~NEW—Join me for my One-Year Anniversary of the Release of Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? Celebration on Zoom Wednesday, August 24, 2022 at 7:30 PM MST. Email me at larada@icloud.com for the Zoom meeting information.
~MY FIRST AUDIOBOOK IS AVAILABLE: Go to Audible to buy my first audiobook, Let Me Tell You a Story. I’m working on Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? but have gotten stalled with shingles.
~Do you listen to podcasts? Here are three podcasts with interviews about my new book & some Flippo stories:
Chat & Spin Radio, from Friday, June 24, 2022. Join us for a lively description of all my books!
~Have you bought a copy of Flippo’s biography yet? Believe it or not—it’s been two years. Go here for your hardback or paperback: https://www.laradasbooks.com or at Amazon.
~For me, it’s Christmas all year long! Here’s a variety of Christmas greetings from Flippo & Neeca, featuring his song, “When It’s Christmas Time in Texas”: https://youtu.be/mpJCUGffU3A
~Wish You Were Here: A Novelby Jodi Picoult, one of my favorite authors, deals with the COVID pandemic in fiction as opposed to my nonfiction book. Check it out! Interesting story!
~What happened to you in 2020-2021 during the coronavirus pandemic? Do you care? Are you on a spiritual path? Do you want to heal from the horrible effects of the pandemic of 2020? Visit my website to find out about my new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? and my other five books and three cookbooks: https://laradasbooks.com
Wise advice to a receptive spirit can make all the difference! The bad news—teenagers think they know everything and rarely listen. My teenager, Larada, has a receptive spirit today and agrees to listen to the wisdom of the crone Larada. For the first time, I’m using the prompt suggested by the Ultimate Blog Challenge and feel it has lots of possibility.
First, my top advice
Be yourself! As a teenager, I got so consumed by the popular view of my friends. Our jeans had to be long enough to touch the ground in the back, and we had to wear Wranglers. Once Dad bought me Levis, and I hated them. I had to have long straight hair and wore it parted on the side. I had a little curl on one side, so mine never hung straight.
By being quiet and not being authentic, people never really knew the real me because I didn’t share her. It took years to find her, but the “me” I found is delightful, energetic and a strong leader. Trust yourself!
Second piece of advice
My social life isn’t everything! Almost every Saturday night found the Horner family at a local dance, so my normal was an active social life. Then, when a snowstorm hit and we had to stay home, I mourned the loss of not being out and about.
I continued this mindset for most of my adult life, but the coronavirus pandemic forced me to learn balance in that area. Balance provides time with others, then time alone to become acquainted with the most important person in the world, me!
Third nugget of advice
Not having a boyfriend is okay! AS a teenager, I obsessed about boys, boyfriends, not having one, having one but thought he was the wrong one!
After periods of being single, I realized the importance of being okay as a solo. Then when I remarried, I had lots to offer to the relationship. You are enough!
Fourth snippet of advice
Be proud of your heritage. I remember being ridiculed when we went to Trinidad, Colorado, to shop. The “towny” kids called us “Sh*t kickers” which embarrassed me. Over the last seven years, I have written six books and five of them celebrate my heritage and family. Embrace your history!
Fifth morsel of advice
Don’t sweat the small stuff! Younger Larada worried about everything, spending too much time focussing on the “what ifs?”
“Let go and let God” had become a mantra of mine today, a slogan from recovery.
Last bit of advice
Focus on your spiritual life! As a teenager, I believed in Jesus, but my faith took a backseat. Popularity and peer pressure ruled my life, causing me to make life choices not centered in my faith.
Today, I have a strong faith, seasoned over the years with lots of pain, disappointments, and struggles. As I processed all of this, I leaned in closer and closer to my God.
Finally,
The teenage Larada did as well as she could with her limited knowledge. As a crone, I offer my advice, Larada, for your best!
Do you talk to the younger you? If so, what do you say?
Visit my website to find out about my new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? and my other five books and three cookbooks: https://laradasbooks.com
Check out Cyber Week Specials at my Etsy Shop, Larada’s Reading Loft, on select books! 40% off of select Individual books, 40% off of select bundles and 50% off of digital copies! These books make the perfect gift for your friends and family.
Two special friends came to mind today as I pondered who to write about in all my friends I have across the United States. These two precious ladies came up: Candy McMillan Vargas and Kathi Raver Miller. Both have died from cancer, but their influence in my life lingers years after their deaths. They both helped me soar and succeed in ways I never imagined! Kathi died in 2009, and Candy died in 2011. Here’s how Candy touched me so deeply, and tomorrow I will tell Kathi and my story!
Candy McMillan Vargas
Candy was born on July 8, 1952, and my brother, Harold (Bub) was born May 25, 1952. Our mothers enjoyed being young pregnant women together, telling hilarious stories about getting their car stuck in the mud with their enormous bellies. Candy’s dad and my dad were best friends. So, we grew up together.
For many years, Candy and I were the only girls in Branson, Colorado, a small ranching town. So, I remember my early playtime with her—donning our mom’s dresses, hats, and shoes. Then we threw purses over our shoulders. Those female items transported us to be Ethel and Lucy for sure.
So much of my childhood memories center on Candy and her family. They owned the grocery store in Branson, so we visited often. Also, back then, people visited each other’s houses in the evening.
Candy moved away about the time she was twelve, but we didn’t lose contact. One morning she arrived at our doorstep at 6:00 AM, having just jumped off the train to come and see us. We felt like she was family.
We ended up going to Trinidad State Junior College together her last year, then she moved to Pueblo, Colorado. Candy was maid-of-honor at my first and second wedding. I think I exhausted her out for the next couple.
She married Michael Vargas in Pueblo, and I was her matron-of-honor. Then they moved to Denver, just a few short blocks from where we lived. I celebrated with her and Michael when their children, Sonia and Shane, were born.
When I graduated in 1986 from Colorado State University, Mom and Dad hosted a major shindig at a bar I frequented often, and Candy catered the delicious meal. She also partied like a crazy lady with me to celebrate my big day.
Candy listened to all my woes about my first husband and our marriage. After our divorce and my graduation from Fort Collins, Colorado, I lived with her and Michael for six months to get established in Denver. She always came to my rescue.
When I moved to Raton, New Mexico, she continued having me cut her hair every six weeks and lined up enough friends to get perms and cuts to make my trip profitable. (I was a beautician for 14 years before becoming a teacher.).
In 2005, when Lela, my sister-in-law died, we had the funeral and burial in Branson. Candy brought a tent to set up out in the backyard because of the hot July weather and helped Mom and I handle the meal after the service.
Mom and I with our Team Candy t-shirts on.
Diagnosed with kidney cancer, a group of her friends bought these “Team Candy” t-shirts to support her. She loved the idea.
Candy died September 13, 2011, and I had been experiencing some strange health episodes. The night she died, I had one of the worst ones yet. Needing to call 911, I went to the hospital. They found nothing identifiably wrong, but my doctor strongly suggested I not go to her funeral on September 19. So, I didn’t, but I took the day off from work and had a private ceremony I prepared at home by myself. That broke my heart not to honor her by attending! I will always regret not saying goodbye formally to her and her family I love so much.
Larada & Candy, Cripple Creek for Larada’s birthday
Candy’s hilarious sense-of-humor, her delicious home-cooked meals and her deep friendship remind me daily of my dear friend. I still see her sparkling eyes and hear her contagious laughter and know that I am a better person for having known her and loved by her. Thank you, Candy, for everything you did.
Do you have a best friend? Have you thanked him or her lately?
Here’s the Gratitude Log again if you need it. I shared a couple days ago.
Visit my website to find out about my new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? and my other five books and three cookbooks: https://laradasbooks.com
Check out Cyber Week Specials at my Etsy Shop, Larada’s Reading Loft, on select books! 40% off of select Individual books, 40% off of select bundles and 50% off of digital copies! These books make the perfect gift for your friends and family.
