As March 2020 ended, I pondered God and faith issues in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic and sheltering in place. I seldom ventured out—only for groceries and prescriptions, but I ventured inward. As always, poetry helped me wrestle with deep emotions about this controversial time and face some spiritual reservations.

Do you question God and his presence in this world? I do because we talk regularly, and we have that kind of relationship. I don’t need to blame God about the pandemic because my God is good, but I challenged Him—where are you? What about faith and fear? Can I have both at the same time?
Through my poetic view, I labored over God’s absence and my struggle with faith and fear.

Where is My God? March 30, 2020 I see the coronavirus cases Increase Where is my God? Who will protect me? You? People have died Are dying Will die Screams of despair Reverberate across The world Mass mournings in the loss Of a son A daughter A mother A father Left to die alone No one familiar to hold a hand Wipe a tear Whisper, “I love you!” God, in your infinite mercy, Where are you? "Each one of them is Jesus in disguise." Disguised like Mother Teresa shared as A doctor A nurse A LPN A caring neighbor A stranger’s smile in the grocery store A phone call or text message to check-in With loved ones I believe you’re in The midst of this Oh, lover of souls! I believe your heart Breaks As you watch The loss The horror Have you rallied the angels? The archangels? The guardian angels? Have you thrown your power Into the wind To bring a new day? You hold me gently to your bosom Scared Frightened Yet knowing full well You have the power You are the power! You are in control!
As you can see from this poem and last week’s, I believe God is in control of this mess, my mess, any mess that comes along. I wind my way through the caverns of questioning always to arrive at the same place!
As this pandemic has struck, many spiritual people wonder about their personal faith. Often, I hear people say either faith or fear, but I came up with a different answer.

March 31, 2020 It’s not either or. I’m human— Fear lurks Faith falters But I can open my hands Have faith in one And fear in the other I can raise them up To my God! I can release Both To do what needs done. Fear reminds me I’m vulnerable Faith reminds me God is in control. I need both. Fear chokes my throat Strangling life out of me Faith hugs me to close Saturating my heart with love God extends his hand. I need both. Fear drives me to despair Faith draws me to the Comforter. Yes, I need both In balance. Too much fear Paralyzes me Too much fear Focuses me On the problem Then my faith comes And refocuses me On the solution. I want more faith Less fear But I need both! A balance To stabilize me To force me To look outside Myself to Him Who waits for me! Faith is power So is fear I yearn to be faith-powered!

I present a dichotomy in this poem—faith and fear, side-by-side and needed. What do you think?

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