My Books · My Thoughts · My Writing · poetry

Day 12 – Instructions for Living a Life—Mary Oliver-Style!

Blank blackboard - instructions

“Instructions for living a life:

Pay attention.

Be astonished.

Tell about it.”

~Mary Oliver, “Sometimes”

Attention Please - Instructions

Mary Oliver’s Instructions for Living a Life resonated with my heart and soul the first time I read it. Because of that, I have quoted it at the beginning of both of my poetry books in the Navigating Life’s Journey Through Poetry series.

So I thought I’d share the Introduction to my new book, Time Measured Out!: Navigating Life’s Journey Through Poetry.

Life’s all about paying attention and not letting the world pass you by. Some call it mindfulness. That’s a big order, but I see that’s what I did over the years with my poetry by being present and seeing the specifics in my life around me. Prior to writing poetry and taking note of my life, years escaped me! The poet arose in me, and this is what transpires: I write poetry when I’m happy, when I’m sad. I write about what’s important—and about what’s trivial.

And now you’re getting a peek into me. Not only am I sharing the vulnerability in my poetry, but in my life.

This is the second book of poetry in a five-book poetry series that chronicles my journey from 1986 to the present, showcasing both difficult times and, ultimately, my most fulfilling era. It all changed at fifty-eight and my fourth marriage, but that’s much later, in book #5.

My first book in this series, Was It a Dream?: Navigating Life’s Journey Through Poetry, which covered my life in poetry from 1986 to 1998, won a Gold Award in the Global Book Awards and second place for poetry in the Next Best Reads Writing Contest, which felt so affirming.

When I choose a title for my books, I consult my husband. I gave him the list of poems chronicling my life from 2000-2003, and he quickly came up with Time Measured Out. I love how this title captures not only the transformative time this was for me, but my playfulness in poetry, as well.

So much happened in the years this book covers, not just for me personally, but also globally. Because I worked as a middle school teacher, I did a lot of my writing during the summer, sitting in the passenger seat, my ex-husband driving down the road to the next square and round dance festival. The summers were my time to write, to travel, to get away from the crushing schedule of teaching, and to see our country near and far—and to dance!

In 2000, my ex-husband, Ted, and I bought a Four Winds Majestic Flyer Class C motorhome in preparation for our 2001 road trip to Alaska on the Al-Can Highway. I dubbed the summer of 2000 “The Majestic Flyer Summer,” after our RV, as we tested it out while traveling to dance festivals.

We spent hours planning our Alaska trip, and my excitement grew as we prepared. We traveled north to the Canadian border then followed the Al-Can Highway from Dawson Creek, British Columbia, to Delta Junction, Alaska, via Whitehorse, Yukon. The rough uneven roads made it an adventure for me, but Ted as the driver grew tired of it. But our journey didn’t go how either of us expected. We broke up in Homer, Alaska in one of the most picturesque spots, the ocean surrounding us. Ted took me to Anchorage to my cousin, then I flew home, leaving him to drive the RV back.

After our breakup, I sought refuge at the Santuario de Chimayó for the second time, but how different my experience was this time compared to my first visit in 1991 (see book #1)!

My ex-husband and I tried to resolve our differences for seven more years, but our reconciliation didn’t fare smoothly. We did have some good times sprinkled in, but it was mostly trouble, chaos, and agony. We struggled until 2008, and I share our final breakup in book #4. Amid this, I continued to turn to poetry to make sense of life—my writing comforted me and helped me survive, and survive I did!

Though there’ve been deep struggles in my life, my positivity always weaves its way through. In this book, you’ll see me repeatedly struggle with my relationship with my ex-husband and how I viewed myself because of it—a dysfunctional relationship at its worst! Yet I bounced back, resilient. If you’ve had similar experiences, resilience saved our lives!

The book will draw near its end with poems I wrote in celebration of my niece for her thirtieth birthday and, lastly, a tribute to my mom. Ending this book with my thoughts about Mom brings a smile to my lips and an ache to my heart! Yes, Mom, you end this second book—so apropos!

Just a reminder! Someone wrote this comment in a review on Goodreads about Was It a Dream?: “There were a few places where these poems felt amateur. In some ways that adds to the charm, but I can’t help wanting to poke at them and try to use one of the many tools we have to make poetry more effective.”

Please remember this poetry series dates back to 1986, and I didn’t polish any of the poems. I wanted you, the reader, to see my progression through the years as a poet. Refraining from “fixing” them felt risky, yet I committed myself and you to this journey. And, yes—it’s been hard!

Step into my world of poetry, and don’t look back. You might decide to grab a seat and linger or even stay.


These three short lines of instructions have become my motto in life. I always want to remember them and be sure and adhere to them—otherwise, I lose essence of the life I’m living! My poetry will direct me!

Larada Horner-Miller - instructions
First I have to pay attention!

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Grief · My Thoughts · My Writing · poetry

Loss and Death: National Poetry Month Topics?

National Poetry Month - Loss

For so many years, poetry about loss and death has comforted the grief-stricken. So, this week for National Poetry Month, I’d like to look at that poetic topic.

On Thursday, I attended a Celebration of Life of a dear friend and saw the juxtaposition of joy and sorrow in real time. Poets have done that for years.

So that led me on Friday to select the poem, “When Death Comes” by Mary Oliver as the inspirational reading for my meditation group as I led it that day. My emotions still ran strong with attending yet another service for a loved one. As we get older, that seems to be the norm. And when I need consolation in poetry for strong emotions, I turn to Mary Oliver’s sensitive and powerful poetry.

When Death Comes

When death comes 
like the hungry bear in autumn;
when death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse

to buy me, and snaps the purse shut;
when death comes
like the measles pox

when death comes
like an iceberg between the shoulder blades,

I want to step through the door full of curiosity,
wondering:
what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?

And therefore I look upon everything
as a brotherhood and a sisterhood,
and I look upon time as no more than an idea,
and I consider eternity as another possibility,

and I think of each life as a flower, as common
as a field daisy, and as singular,

and each name a comfortable music in the mouth,
tending, as all music does, toward silence,

and each body a lion of courage, and something
precious to the earth.

When it's over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.

When it's over, I don't want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened,
or full of argument.

I don't want to end up simply having visited this world.

—Mary Oliver

https://www.loc.gov/programs/poetry-and-literature/poet-laureate/poet-laureate-projects/poetry-180/all-poems/item/poetry-180-102/when-death-comes

My Response to “When Death Comes”

In response to this poem and our meditation time together, I wrote the following haikus. Remember that a haiku is a three-line poem with 5 syllables in the first line, 7 in the second and 5 in the third. Traditionally the third line should hold some spice, some punch. That’s why in my fourth haiku below, I provide three choices. Which one do you like the best?

When death comes, I want

To be astonished with it!

To run—shout for joy!


When death comes, I will

See Jesus and run to him.

He will hold me close.


Finally, I will be

Home at last—where my heart is!

Familiar faces!


No longer do I

Fear death. It’s the gateway there.

  1. I know many there.
  2. It’s dying I fear.
  3. My heart has been there.

Other Mary Oliver poetry about death and grief:

  • Love Sorrow from Red Bird
  • Ocean from Red Bird
  • No Voyage from New and Selected Poems
  • After Her Death from Thirst
  • A Pretty Song from Thirst

Yes, the topics of poetry span all of life and death. In my book, A Time to Grow Up: A Daughter’s Grief Memoir, I address the loss of my parents in poetry, especially my mom.

Here’s one of my poems dealing with her death:

I Want You Back! Or Do I?

January 27, 2014

I stand at that mysterious wall 
between life and eternity
and scream,
"I want you back!"

I pound my fists.
I scream!
I cry,
but nothing changes.

You slipped
through my fingertips.

I grasped.

You were here one second
and
gone the next!

Nothing I could do
would hold you.

Where are you now?
Sitting next to Jesus and Dad—
smiling
youthful
relaxed
happy!

I hope so!

I am earth bound—
held in place
by time and
my human existence!

I now know more,
realize there's more.
There has to be!

A small peephole
opened into eternity
at your death bed.

Surprisingly, a small kernel of hope was
born that day for me.

Life ended here for you
so quickly!

Your shell of a body
lay limp and lifeless
in that hospital bed.
I saw your last breath,
but I also saw something else
slight
faint

Relief for you!
A passing
A knowing
that you are gone
from here,
but will wait for me
there.

In my solemn, desolate space,
I will still cry,
"I want you back!"

But today I know
that
I don't want you back—

I want to join you
there!

Larada Horner-Miller, A Time to Grow Up: A Daughter’s Grief Memoir, (Horner Publishing Company, 2017), 193-195


Life, death and everything in-between—poetry addresses it all and comforts the soul. If any of you feel sorrow or grief today, I hope these verses touched your heart and gave you some solace and relief!

Finally,

do you have a favorite poem that addresses loss and death? Grief? Sorrow? Let me know so I can add it to my list!


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My Thoughts · poetry

April—National Poetry Month: Read & Listen to Poetry

National Poetry Month - April

It’s National Poetry Month. I love April for a variety of reasons: spring in the air, a fresh spring snow storm yesterday of sixteen inches and poetry!

Yes, you all know I write poetry and prose. I love that combination and have used it in many of my books, but as of late, I have focused more on poetry. My favorite poet right now is Mary Oliver, and these words from her poem, Sometimes, have inspired and shocked me:

“Instructions for living a life:

Pay attention.

Be astonished.

Tell About It.”

~Mary Oliver, “Sometimes”

These instructions shock me because I have realized that’s what I do with my poetry and have done it for years. Right now, I’m working on Book #2 of my four-book poetry series that spans my poetry from 1986-2025. Yes, unconsciously I have followed her advice.

Because I’m in the recording mode, I decided to record Oliver’s instructions for living a life.

So I wanted to share some of my poems this week from recent book, Was It a Dream?: Navigating Life’s Journey Through Poetry which is book #1 in my four-book poetry series.

Somehow, I let April 1 and 2 slip, but I recorded poetry the last four days and shared them on various social media sites, but today I’m only sharing two of my poems and recordings.

Two Poems from Was It a Dream?

December 8, 1995

Catch a word
and drag it by the leg—

hold on tight. Don’t let go!

Hold on!
Don’t let it bite you— you might die from its

poisonous bite or worse—

YOU MIGHT WANT TO WRITE MORE!


Spokane, Washington

June 18, 1998

Ingenuity of children
Big Brother sees it as a race car.

Mom sees it as a laundry basket on wheels.

Little brother takes advantage of

big brother’s imagination.

Down one aisle Down another

Little brother’s eyes glisten.

Smiles and giggles filled his face.

For a moment, it was a race car— they raced

and won,
but mom interrupted the fun!

“Boys, stop that!”

I plan on packing a lot of my poetry in April, so I hope you’re ready for the ride—from my books. See—I have poetry in seven of my nine books, so I have a lot to choose from! Also I will share haiku I haven’t published yet, so April will be full!

If you’d like to sample some of my poetry, click on the link below!


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haiku · My Thoughts · poetry

A Hummingbird Party: Let’s Attend!

Hummingbird

A hummingbird party continues to rage at our house on the deck where the feeders are. The birds arrived late this summer—first or second week of July. We lamented over their absence in June, but they’re here now and chugging the nectar Lin puts out daily! And what a stunning spectacle!

Our hummingbirds at three feeders - day of leading meditation
Hummingbird Party

On Tuesday, August 8, 2023, I selected our deck to lead a meditation group I’m in. Why the deck? So the participants could see the massive amount of hummingbirds we have and join the party. Those tiny birdy rebel-rousers came out in full force.

Our group time together began with: I read my favorite poet, Mary Oliver’s poem, Hummingbirds, for the inspiration part of our time.

Hummingbirds

By Mary Oliver

The female, and two chicks,
each no bigger than my thumb,
scattered,
shimmering

in their pale-green dresses;
then they rose, tiny fireworks,
into the leaves
and hovered;

then they sat down,
each one with dainty, charcoal feet –
each one on a slender branch –
and looked at me.

I had meant no harm,
I had simply
climbed the tree
for something to do

on a summer day,
not knowing they were there,
ready to burst the ledges
of their mossy nest

and to fly, for the first time,
in their sea-green helmets,
with brisk, metallic tails –
each tulled wing,

with every dollop of flight,
drawing a perfect wheel
across the air.
Then, with a series of jerks,

they paused in front of me
and, dark-eyed, stared –
as though I were a flower –
and then,

like three tosses of silvery water,
they were gone.
Alone,
in the crown of the tree,

I went to China,
I went to Prague;
I died, and was born in the spring;
I found you, and loved you, again.

Later the darkness fell
and the solid moon
like a white pond rose.
But I wasn’t in any hurry.

Likely I visited all
the shimmering, heart-stabbing
questions without answers
before I climbed down.

https://thepoetryplace.wordpress.com/2011/12/10/hummingbirds-by-mary-oliver/

At first, my reading of the poem featuring them chased off all of those hummers. They flee from any sound we make. During the meditation part and the quiet, they came back in full force—dipping and diving. One vied for a position near the feeder, then another ran him off—probably an ornery rufous. I love the collective sound they make—probably their wings flapping, “10-15 times a second. Hummingbirds can fly forward, backward, and even upside down.”

Is all the sound from their wings flapping or do they sing? “While most birdwatchers can identify a Hummingbird by the furious buzzing of their wings, they also have a series of calls, songs, and vocalizations to communicate with each other.”

The herd of hummingbirds and Oliver’s poem inspired me to write the following haikus about hummingbirds and tree climbing:

My Haikus

You are the Lord of

The dainty hummingbird gift!

They make me laugh so!


Climb a tree at my

Age? Why not? Discover life!

Nature heals my heart!


Come and sit on our

Deck to see hummingbirds feed.

Sweet nectar lures them.


I can visit the

Whole world, sitting in a tree.

My deep concerns melt.


Clouds hang over the

Sandias. Hummingbirds dance.

  1. A picturesque scene!
  2. New Mexico True!

(I had trouble deciding on the third line. Which do you like?)


Jesus orchestrates

The hummingbirds’ migration.

Thanks for stopping here!


The thirsty crowd has

Arrived! Hummingbirds party!

Be quiet and watch!


Yes, living in the mountains has many blessings, but these fanciful little hummingbirds have to be the best. They continue to come—hopefully for the rest of August. Yesterday, Lin prepared two gallons of nectar which according to some formula he uses, means he fed 1000 hummingbirds yesterday—wow! Also, he only plants flowers and plants in his garden like penstemons, to feed and attract hummingbirds, bees and butterflies!

Finally, yes, when they gather to party and drink the nectar, the hummingbirds disturb the quiet, but naturally. As I sit and type this, those hungry little lovelies gather at the feeders I can see. Two feeders need filling, but there are ten spread out on the deck, and Lin has a schedule of keeping them full.

Hummingbird feedings I see from my laptop

I love to sit outside and watch their maneuvers and marvel at their speed and antics. Do hummingbirds party at your house? Do you feed any? many? Let me know! Join the hummingbird party!

I’d like to leave you with a treat—a video Lin took last week! Let the party begin!

Hummingbirds Party!

News, News, News!

Pre-order my new book, Hair on Fire: A Heartwarming and Humorous Christmas Memoir, ahead of the Christmas rush. To be released in September for your early shopping pleasure!

Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? meme - hummingbird
Vacation with my book and heal!

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