We will celebrate Memorial Day, 2024 tomorrow. This year I plan to send time with my brother, but as a child, we had a tradition.
However today, some Americans seem confused about Memorial Day and Veterans Day.
Difference Between Memorial Day & Veterans Day
“Memorial Day and Veterans Day are both patriotic holidays honoring the military, but there is a significant difference between the two aside from when they land on the calendar.
Memorial Day, which falls on the last Monday in May, honors the men and women who died while serving in the military. This solemn occasion is a time to reflect on these American patriots who made the ultimate sacrifice while protecting and defending the country they deeply loved. Veterans Day, observed every November 11, recognizes all who have served in the Armed Forces.”
https://www.hfotusa.org/difference-memorial-day-veterans-day/
Many Americans see Memorial Day as the first holiday of the summer—a barbecue and maybe some family time and a day off from work but not a thought about the men and women who have died serving in the military. How about you? Did you know that?
My Childhood & Memorial Day
During my childhood, I knew “the dead” played a role in this holiday because we often we met my maternal grandparents who lived in Amarillo, Texas, at the cemetery in Des Moines, New Mexico and “decorated” the graves of our family members. But I didn’t know the military aspect of it.
It was a community time with many local people assembling with friends who had moved away. Yes, there was reverence for “decorating” the graves, and the grown-ups enjoyed seeing friends and visiting. As children, we met up with friends and ran around, not really understanding the importance of the day.
Afterwards, Mom, my brother and I would go back to Amarillo with my grandparents as the beginning to our summer fun.
My mom and dad religiously “decorated” the graves of their deceased relatives on Memorial Day. They went to Trinidad where my dad’s side of the family were buried. Then they went to Des Moines, New Mexico to honor Mom’s side of the family. When my dad died, I joined Mom in keeping up these traditions.
After Mom died, I continued the tradition of “decorating” the graves in Trinidad for many years, but I didn’t go on Memorial Day because I live 280 miles away. My cousin agreed to honor our family buried in the Des Moines cemetery.
Today & Memorial Day—”Decorating” Graves
This afternoon, my brother and I returned from a two-day trip to Cripple Creek, Colorado for his birthday celebration. We gambled and enjoyed each other—a precious relationship I have with my brother!
As we neared Trinidad this afternoon, he asked if I wanted to go by the cemetery, and I answered enthusiastically, “Yes!” This year he “decorated” the graves a week or so ago. I so appreciate him taking on this task.
When we arrived, I thought, “Here we are again, honoring our deceased relatives like our parents and grandparents taught us.” I took pictures of Mom and Dad’s grave and my brother and I enjoyed simple conversation, silence and reverence.
Then we walked to my Aunt Helen’s grave and my paternal grandparents, commenting on the state of each—Aunt Helen’s stone has tilted over the years and is supposed to get fixed. A small tree has grown besides Granddad Horner’s side of the gravestone and my brother commented about bringing shears to cut it down.
“Decorating” graves, graveyards and Memorial Day—that has been my tradition. We have lost no one in our family in military service, so this day became a day to honor the dead in our family.
Hopefully, if you have lost a family member or friend to military service, today you will take the time to honor them with flowers on their grave, a silent prayer of thanks or whatever ritual you think of for their service. Yes, enjoy your barbecue, your day off, the beginning of summer, but—”lest we forget!”
As a nation, we need to remember these days for what they are—forgetting the meaning of a holiday renders it less than what it is.
~ Hair on Fire: A Heartwarming & Humorous Christmas Memoir available in audiobook format at the following places:
Enjoy my interview on the podcast, The Writing Table
