family · My Thoughts

Celebrate Women This Month!

March—Women’s History Month! Did you know that? What a thrilling discovery! So, over the next four weeks, I plan on celebrating four women in my life and history. Some are dead; some are still alive! It doesn’t matter because they still have had an intact on me!

First, here’s a great resource with pictures from Dr. Carla Hayden, 14th Librarian of Congress to Sojourner Truth, three-quarter length portrait, standing, wearing spectacles, shawl and peaked cap, right hand resting on cane. What a wide variety of pictures of women in our history. Look at: https://womenshistorymonth.gov/about/

Now, more focused for me—where else would I start the celebration of women? My Mom—Elva Marie Dickerson Horner. Celebrating her this month has a poignant ring to it—she died March 23, 2013, ten years ago! In so many ways, that’s hard to believe! It seems longer; yet it seems like yesterday.

On March 23, 2013, at 5:10 pm, Dad and Jesus won—Dad had waited up there for seventeen long years to dance with the love of his life again. Jesus agreed with him, and the pull towards heaven won, and Mom passed from this world to the next.

Let’s Start at the Beginning

Elva Marie Dickerson Horner was born on September 24, 1928 to Virgil and Tresia Dickerson in Des Moines, NM. Mom joined her 9-year-old sister, Willa Lee.

Aunt Willie and Mom - women
Aunt Willie and Mom

Being the youngest child in the Dickerson home, Willa Lee tells a story about Mom: “when we went to the post office she would lie down on me—on the ground and throw a fit. I reached inside the fence and got me a switch. (Pause) She didn’t do that again.”

Living through the depression, Mom endured a hard life, living in a shack with dirt floors. Grandma would wet the dirt down and pack it hard, and Mom got in trouble for digging little holes afterwards.

Her Marriage and Family Life is Coming!

Mom loved to dance her whole life. A certain cowboy caught her eye at a dance. She noticed his unique dance style. At the Robin Hood Bar in Raton, New Mexico, he crossed the dance floor towards her. She knew he was going to ask her to dance. Then she panicked, and the romance of a lifetime started with Harold Horner, my dad. They dated; they danced!

Dad and Mom on their wedding day - women
Dad and Mom on their wedding day

Then, Dad and Mom were married on August 28, 1951 in Raton, New Mexico. Their married life that would span 45 years had begun. Mom immediately became stepmother to three small children and faced the trials of being a stepmom, but the children lived with their mom in Denver. They visited Mom and Dad regularly.

As newlyweds, they moved in with Dad’s parents in Branson, Colorado, and experience a small-town tradition—chevarier. Friends short-sheeted the beds, removed labels off all the canned goods, and Mom, the bride, had a wheelbarrow ride around town. Dad’s parents had the joy (and despair) of sharing this country tradition and all the effects.

Then Dad and Mom bought their own first home from the Stephenson’s a few months later—lock, stock & barrel. After the birth of my brother and me (thirteen months later), Mom’s family was intact! Her family grew with marriages, then nine grandchildren came, and then fifteen great grandchildren. She celebrated each addition to our family, so I witnessed a woman dedicated to her family.

Mom cherished family get-togethers and holidays. Her father-in-law, Laurence, loved to have family get-togethers at our house because of Mom’s cooking and hospitality!

Her Life in The Community

Lots of life happened in Branson through the years. Mom enjoyed not only her own children, but my brother’s and my friends in the community. She was happiest when her kitchen and adjacent dining room were full of young people. Mom maintained close relationships with many of these children into their adulthood.

After Granddad Horner died, Mom became Dad’s right-hand man, able to do anything on the ranch. She worked hard! In fact, in 1989, she fell off of a haystack and broke her wrist when I was teaching in Raton, New Mexico, right before shipping time. So, several rancher’s wives and I stepped in and helped cook and serve the meal to the shipping crew.

As Dad’s health worsened, I watched Mom lovingly cared for him until the end. What an example of dedicated love!

Mom’s Interests

Mom had a variety of interests:

She was an avid sports fan of all Branson sports. When Bub played, she yelled loudly at basketball games, drowning out other parents. For many years, Mom sat in the same place every game with a dear friend.

In the 70s, Mom got interested in genealogy and researched both the Dickerson and Horner sides extensively. In 1999, we traveled to Eastern Europe because of her genealogy interests, looking for connections to her granddad, who immigrated here as a castaway with no records of entry into the US. Today, I cherish her black ledger with all of her records. I joined her in this interest and have entered her data into an app on my computer, Family Tree Maker.

Girlfriends have been a part of Mom’s life forever: Ellen Berry in high school; Clara Warner, Nancy Salas & Mokey McMillan years ago; Helen Waldroup; Betty Clark and Rose Ward.

Learn More About Mom

Mom had an abiding faith and became baptized and a faithful member of the Des Moines, New Mexico Methodist church, attending every Sunday with her niece and her husband. She looked forward to the time after church when a group went to a local restaurant for lunch—and a little gossiping! Her faith lasted until the end.

All of us have evidence of Mom’s beautiful handiworks: afghans, quilts, Christmas ornaments and more.

I remember Mom as quite the prankster—she loved a good practical joke. If you fell asleep at her house in the living room, a good chance you would end up with whipped cream on your nose! That is just one of her many tricks!

Often when I was with Mom, I enjoyed the privilege of hearing her laughter, so rich and inviting, seeing her eyes twinkle and her joy for living.

Mom and I in our matching Christmas Outfits - women
Mom and I in our matching Christmas Outfits

As you can see, Mom touched my life and many others. She formed me and others to be the women we are today, and I will be forever grateful for my mom! So be sure to celebrate the women in your life this month by doing something special for them.

Mom’s Purple Bear

Recently my husband, Lin, went through our house collecting things for a rummage sale for the Garden Center in Albuquerque. I had a purple bear on the bed in our guest bedroom I gave Mom in her dying days. Somehow the purple bear ended up in a stack of stuffed toys, and he took it to the rummage sale to sell.

Afterwards we were in the guest bedroom, and I looked at bed and realized the purple bear had disappeared. Then I looked at the top of the bookshelf where the other various stuffed toys had ended and they were gone. I realized our house cleaners probably put the bear up with the others innocently.

When I told him where I thought the precious purple bear ended up, he returned to the sale before it started, went through bags and found it. He received cheers from the workers there because he had told them, “I have to save my marriage. I have to find that bear!”

Mom embrace that bear tightly in the hospital after I gave it to her, and we kept it near her until her dying day. Lin blessed my heart with his extreme effort to retrieve it!

Finally,

What women are you celebrating this month? Have you even thought about it? Which woman has influenced you? Why?


News, News, News!

My five books meme - women
All available at my website: laradasbooks.com or Amazon.com

~For me, it’s Christmas all year long! Here’s a variety of Christmas greetings from Flippo & Neeca, featuring his song, “When It’s Christmas Time in Texas”: https://youtu.be/mpJCUGffU3A

Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? meme
Grab a cup of coffee and enjoy a chapter!

~My new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? WON the 2022 New Mexico-Arizona Book Awards in the Body, Mind & Spirit Category. Have you bought your copy yet? Vist my website: laradasbooks.com or at Amazon.

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A relaxed time with a latte and Flippo!

~Have you bought a copy of Flippo’s biography yet? Believe it or not—it’s been three years. Go here for your hardback or paperback: https://www.laradasbooks.com or at Amazon.

Christmas · My Thoughts

Give Away a Christmas Tree?

Christmas tree--giveway

Give away a Christmas tree? Why would anyone do that? When I first came to Albuquerque, NM in 1991 as a classroom teacher, I started a tradition in my classroom. Each year, I put up a Christmas tree, then gave it away to one of my students before our Christmas vacation. Early in December, I’d have them put their names in a hat, and we’d draw the lucky winner. I taught in a low-income school and many of my students’ families struggled with the basics. A Christmas tree was a luxury and a fresh cut one was a novelty.

In 1991 and throughout the time I taught, we had no problem putting up a Christmas tree in our classrooms and I dressed in my Christmas outfits, starting the first Monday after Advent. Today, I know that teachers can’t do this, which is really sad for me!

I will never forget that first year of seeing the lucky student whose name I drew. He was the winner! Several students helped me un-decorate the tree, and he convinced friends to help him carry the tree home. As I looked out the window, the smiles and excitement that the group exhibited warmed my heart. After that first year, I knew I had found a grand tradition to continue!

How did I come about having an extra tree each year to giveaway?
Cutting Down a Christmas tree--giveway

My parents had a family ranch in southeastern Colorado and northeastern New Mexico. Growing up, we went out to the ranch and cut our own tree each year. What memories I have! My dad always wanted a tall one; Mom wanted one that sit on the coffee table! So, during the year, Mom and I scouted out where the “good” Christmas trees were. Then my parents filled the actual trip with lots of good-hearted bantering, but Dad won—always!

So when I moved to Albuquerque, I went home for Thanksgiving. During that weekend, we went out to the ranch and cut down two trees—one for my home and one for my classroom.

I loved those trips out to our ranch, cutting down a fresh tree. Dad, Mom and I made a great excursion out of it. On previous trips out there, we had already decided where the best pinon pine trees were. Dad started the sawing, but because of his breathing issues and his age, I usually helped. And yes, we always got sap on our hands—what a delicious smell, but sticky mess!

Finally,

I felt privileged to giveaway a Christmas tree to one of my students. What a rewarding experience it was!

Is a Christmas tree giveaway something special? I thought it was, especially after seeing my students’ smiles. Have you ever given a Christmas tree away? If so, what was the effect?


News, News, News!

~For me, it’s Christmas all year long! Here’s a variety of Christmas greetings from Flippo & Neeca, featuring his song, “When It’s Christmas Time in Texas”: https://youtu.be/mpJCUGffU3A

Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? meme - Giveaway

~My new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? WON the 2022 New Mexico-Arizona Book Awards in the Body, Mind & Spirit Category. Have you bought your copy yet? Vist my website: laradasbooks.com

Just Another Square Dance Caller: Authorized Biography of Marshall Flippo - Giveaway

~Have you bought a copy of Flippo’s biography yet? Believe it or not—it’s been two years. Go here for your hardback or paperback: https://www.laradasbooks.com or at Amazon.

Christianity · My Thoughts · Recovery · Spirituality

My Spiritual Father: A Priest and a Friend!

Father dancing with little girl - Spiritual Father

My spiritual father? Does that sound strange? I would say it’s a man who contributes to the growth and nurturing of my spirit, someone who touched my life deeply. As I thought about Father’s Day this week, I knew I’d already written about my dad and other key men in my life. So, I wanted to share about my spiritual father!

I met Fr. Tom Weston, a recovering Jesuit priest, thirty years ago. Here it is Father’s Day 2022 and I want to honor his work in my life. He contributed to my spiritual growth over the last thirty years in a variety of ways. I attended many retreats in Albuquerque after the Mesilla retreat identified below. After hearing him the first time, I have bought eleven recorded cassette tapes then CDs of his teachings. Then, during the coronavirus pandemic, Fr. Tom offered monthly Zoom retreats since April 2020 (or that’s when I started).

My First Experience

In the spring of 1993, I attended my first Serenity Retreat for recovery. A new friend in the program invited me to go with her to Holy Cross Retreat Center in Mesilla, New Mexico, outside of Las Cruces for the weekend. She had raved about Fr. Tom often, and I needed a shot in the arm. I had been dealing with some heavy-duty stuff.

So, we took off at noon—both of us taught our morning classes and away we went. From the first talk on Friday night, I saw Fr. Tom’s amazing talents. He had me laughing one minute and crying the next, then laughing again. He provided a refreshing picture of recovery and Christianity that I needed.

On the drive down, my friend forewarned me Fr. Tom held ten-minute private counseling sessions on Saturday and sign up early because he filled up quickly. She knew the woes I had been going through and felt I needed an extra boost, so I signed up.

When my time came on his packed Saturday schedule, Fr. Tom suggested we walk around the pecan orchard next to the retreat house. I shared my current trauma that had my life topsy-turvy.

Calmly, he said, “I have no experience with your issue, but how about finding a tree here to connect with and something might come up.”

So, I followed his instructions and parked myself under near a tree with my journal. Immediately, memories flooded my mind, and I knew Fr. Tom had known my God and the trees would help me. This became a pivotal point in a deep healing for me.

Fr. Tom Grew to become My Spiritual Father

From then on, I became a follower of Fr. Tom, attending multiple retreats at the Dominican Sisters Retreat House in the South Valley and then off of Coors Boulevard in Albuquerque. Every retreat, I signed up for the one-on-one time with Fr. Tom, keeping him updated with my current life, and I loved the connection we made.

Over the years, listening to his teachings, Fr. Tom expanded my belief in my God from a punishing, judgmental white guy sitting in robes on the clouds to a peaceful, accepting personal God I could talk to and have a personal relationship with. And he did this through a variety of instruments: through an inclusive Mass on Sunday at the retreats and reading part of the Mass in Hebrew to connect me to our Jewish roots, through Rumi’s delightful and resounding poetry, through simple Buddhist reminders to stay present, through Fr. Anthony de Mello’s humor and stories and through Mary Oliver’s nature-focused poetry and especially her blue iris poem about prayer, “Praying.” With each retreat, I looked forward to his literary references peppered throughout the weekend.

Once, while listening to one of Fr. Tom’s recorded retreats, on one of my hundreds of four-hour trips north to Colorado to visit my folks or my southern trip to return home, he shared a very risky prayer. Immediately, I pulled over and jotted it down, shivered at its possibilities and put it away for many years. I felt if I prayed that prayer, the world would turn upside down.

Then he shared it again recently on one of his monthly Zoom retreats, and I embraced its truth and now pray it daily. Here it is:

Father Robert Egan’s Come Holy Spirit (Pentecost) Prayer

  • Come, Holy Spirit! We pray
  • Rattle our cages
  • Break into our locked houses
  • Water our parched land
  • Undo our bends and twistedness
  • Awaken our hearts
  • Help us overflow with kindness and
  • Give us unending joy.
Marked up Bible - Spiritual Father

Fr. Tom gave me the freedom to open my heart up to a larger God than I had ever known before and, with that, I have returned to my Christian faith and my religion of choice with a deeper acceptance and renewal.

In conclusion, your spiritual father may be the father that raised you. Mine wasn’t. My dad had little interest in spiritual matters. My spiritual father came many years later in life, in God’s time, and I am so grateful.

Do you have a spiritual father? Was it your dad? If not, who was he? How did he affect your life?

Fr. Tom’s website: https://www.innerlightproductions.net/fr-tom-weston


~NEW INTERVIEW on Chat & Spin Radio, Friday, June 24 at 1:00 PM. Join us for a lively discussion of my books!

~MY FIRST AUDIOBOOK IS AVAILABLE: Go to Audible to buy my first audiobook, Let Me Tell You a Story. I’m working on Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? but have gotten stalled with shingles.

~Do you listen to podcasts? Here are three podcasts with interviews about my new book & some Flippo stories:

Just Another Square Dance Caller: Authorized Biography of Marshall Flippo meme

~Have you bought a copy of Flippo’s biography yet? Believe it or not—it’s been two years. Go here for your hardback or paperback: https://www.laradasbooks.com or at Amazon.

~For me, it’s Christmas all year long! Here’s a variety of Christmas greetings from Flippo & Neeca, featuring his song, “When It’s Christmas Time in Texas”: https://youtu.be/mpJCUGffU3A

Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? meme

~What happened to you in 2020-2021 during the coronavirus pandemic? Do you care? Are you on a spiritual path? Do you want to heal from the horrible effects of the pandemic of 2020? Visit my website to find out about my new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? and my other five books and three cookbooks: https://laradasbooks.com

My Thoughts · New Mexico

A Pilgrimage to Chimayó —A New Mexico Tradition!

El Santuario de Chimayó
El Santuario de Chimayó

Many New Mexicans take part in a pilgrimage to El Santuario de Chimayó on Good Friday. Mostly are Catholic and here’s my experience with this amazing tradition.

In the late 80s, I moved to Raton, New Mexico, to teach. I had grown up on the northeast border of New Mexico, but had toured little of the state. When I moved to Raton, I spent many weekends doing day trips to different parts of the northern part of the state. I fell in love with Taos and visited whenever I could.

As I talked to many locals, I learned about the Good Friday pilgrimage to Chimayó. Yes, people as far away as Raton knew about the pilgrimage, and some took part. I’m Episcopalian and share some traditions and rituals with the Catholic church, so it appealed to me. That Lenten season, I sought a unique experience during Holy Week and went to El Santuario de Chimayó, which was the goal of the Good Friday pilgrims.

So, I had the day off from school. I loaded up my ten-pound poodle, Windy, in the car, some snacks and water, and off we went. It was a 200-mile trip, taking us about three hours. I left early in the morning so I would have ample time to look around—before that trip I had only been to Chimayó once with a girlfriend, and we stopped at Ortega’s Weaving Shop, but we didn’t stop at El Santuario de Chimayó. At that time, I did not know the significance it had in New Mexico Christian heritage.

Inside the gate at El Santuario de Chimayó
Inside the gate at El Santuario de Chimayó

“El Santuario de Chimayó is a Roman Catholic church in Chimayó, New Mexico, United States. (Santuario is Spanish for “sanctuary”.) This shrine, a National Historic Landmark, is famous for the story of its founding and as a contemporary pilgrimage site. It receives almost 300,000 visitors per year and has been called “no doubt the most important Catholic pilgrimage center in the United States.”

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/El_Santuario_de_Chimayo

I remember enjoying the early spring morning ride up I-25 to Santa Fe, knowing this part of the road from trips to Albuquerque to visit my aunt and uncle when they lived there. Then I turned off I-25, and the world changed.

As soon as I drove through Santa Fe, the pilgrims appeared—some with large wooden crosses on their shoulders, many in a small cluster. Then I turned onto Road 503, which is the “High Road to Taos.” I had only been on that road once before, with my girlfriend on our previous trip to travel the High Road and go through Truchas, New Mexico, where The Milagro Beanfield Wars was filmed. Before the release of the film in 1988, I had read the book by John Nichols, howling at some of its hilarious situations and crying at its message about land and water rights. We had a great time on that trip.

The further I went with sage and pinon pines covering the mountainside, the number of pilgrims increased. As I motored by in my car, I glanced at serious faces on a mission. At one point, I felt a little ashamed of being in a car, but then I stopped and applauded myself for the effort.

When I arrived at the small village of Chimayó, I immediately knew the direction of the church. The masses walked towards it. I parked off on the side of the road, rolling down the windows for Windy and providing him with water.

I joined the crowd as it moved towards El Santuario de Chimayó. As we neared the gate in the adobe wall, a line formed and waited. Many people had told me about this part of the attraction to this place: holy dirt that heals.

The Gate into Sanctuario de Chimayó - pilgrimage
The Gate into Sanctuario de Chimayó

So, I waited in line, marveling at the size of the crowd and the age of the attendees—many faithful people ready to receive something special this holy day at this sacred place. Upon entering the church, it had wooden ceiling beams, white-washed walls, with a few pews. The altar area captured my eye—a wooden depiction of Jesus and the crucifixion.

How respectful the people in line were—a reverent silence canopied the church as we made our way to a door on the side of the sanctuary where the holy dirt was. When I entered the small room tucked away, crutches lined the walls from healings. I saw the hole in the ground where the dirt came from. Then I grabbed my bag of holy dirt and left. As I walked out, pictures lined the walls of people who had been healed. I have kept some dirt from Chimayó in my home in a variety of spots ever since.

When I got outside, I returned to my car, put Windy on a leash and we wandered around the area. I soaked up the peaceful, reverent atmosphere and found a shady spot under a tree to relax. Windy curled up next to me and we noticed blissfully the pleasure of being with worshipping people. I hadn’t gotten into the habit of carrying a journal with me yet, so that day never got memorialized in a poem, but what I took away from it has lasted for over thirty years in my heart. Today, I still feel the serenity in that church’s courtyard.

In the following years, I returned once during Holy Week on Good Friday in the early 90s when I moved to Albuquerque and on other occasions to share this New Mexican treasure.

In the summer of 2009, I returned to Chimayó after a divorce. After moving into my townhouse, I remembered the holy dirt and realized I had misplaced it. I knew I needed some to heal my broken heart. This time I went alone because Windy had passed away. Again, a line formed but shorter and wove its way through the church. I gathered a bagful of dirt and brought it home, placing it around my townhouse, believing in its power to heal. This time I spent time with a notebook in the courtyard recording my experience.

Lin leaning against the gate into Santuario de Chimayó - pilgrimage
Lin leaning against the gate into Santuario de Chimayó

In 2015, Lin and I vacationed in the Santa Fe area in the spring, and I showed him around Chimayó and El Sanctuario. We had a delightful time and the grounds surrounding it had changed a lot during my absence. We brought home a fresh bag of dirt to replace the old. All the pictures included here are from this trip.

As I face Holy Week this week, I remember my pilgrimage to El Santuario de Chimayó from Raton—every year I am reminded of my experience, still savoring the time there. It still blesses my heart in a special way!

If you are interested, here’s this year’s Holy Week schedule there: https://www.holychimayo.us/holy-week. Have you visited Chimayó? If so, what was your experience? Have you ever done a pilgrimage or something special during Holy Week? I’d love to hear about it!


~Celebrate spring with 20% off select book bundles at my Etsy Shop, Larada’s Reading Loft until April 30!

~NEW PODCAST to be released Thursday, March 17, 2022, discussing my new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? : Live on Purpose Podcast at https://liveonpurposeradio.com/category/podcast/

~MY FIRST AUDIOBOOK IS AVAILABLE: Go to Audible to buy my first audiobook, Let Me Tell You a Story

~Do you listen to podcasts? Here are three podcasts with interviews about my new book & some Flippo stories:

Just Another Square Dance Caller: Authorized Biography of Marshall Flippo

~Buy a copy of Flippo’s biography on my website: https://www.laradasbooks.com or at Amazon.

~Here’s a variety of Christmas greetings from Flippo & Neeca, featuring his song, “When It’s Christmas Time in Texas”: https://youtu.be/mpJCUGffU3A

Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? meme

~Are you on a spiritual path? Do you want to heal from the horrible effects of the pandemic of 2020? Visit my website to find out about my new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? and my other five books and three cookbooks: https://laradasbooks.com