Coronavirus · My Books · My Thoughts

COVID-19 Pandemic: Tough Topic #2—Denial?

Stop COVID-19

Has the COVID-19 pandemic faded from our memories? Have we faced all of its losses and grieved? Or have we denied its impact and moved on? If I move on from a tragedy and haven’t dealt with it, I may carry some of it with me.

Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? book cover-COVID-19

My book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? offers the possibility of facing what this horrible pandemic was to you by reading my experience, reflecting on what you dealt with, and responding to some probing questions to put it all to rest.

NEWS UPDATE: I won the 2022 New Mexico/Arizona Book Award for the Body, Mind & Spirit category!

As we look back, we all lost two years of our lives—for me, it was dancing, traveling and seeing my family. Many suffered severe anxiety and depression.

These charts show the mental effect COVID-19 pandemic had on many people.

I structured my book in small chapters. Each begins with a captivating picture and quote. Then I share my thoughts and experience on that topic. Afterwards, I end each chapter with a reflection question. So, the reader has choices in how to use it: read it from cover to cover, peruse the Table of Contents and select a topic that jumps out at you, and/or use it as a journal.

Excerpt from Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? Addressing COVID-19

An excerpt from my book might whet your appetite. I titled chapter twelve, “I’m Suffering.” The quote by Nichiren starts the chapter: “If you light a lantern for another, it will also brighten your own way…”

“The isolation of sheltering-in-place has begun to take its toll on me—basically interacting personally with no one except my husband since March 8th. As an extrovert, I relish social interaction. Yes, I get ample hugs from my dear husband daily, but I’m accustomed to hugs from a variety of people. We hug when we square dance, we hug at recovery meetings, and we hug at church. My family hugs a lot, also. I heard someone say this week, “I’m suffering from hug deprivation!” Me, too! That describes it perfectly.

I’m used to an abundance of hugs, so the social distancing has been a real trigger for me. Yes, I agree the restrictions are a necessity, but my spirit and soul thirst for a hug, and this lack of a normal staple has zapped me.

On top of the restrictions, I filled my March and April with the final production of my book project, Just Another Square Dance Caller: Authorized Biography of Marshall Flippo, and though I was able to add some special features I wouldn’t have been able to do if I had rushed the production, it drained me. Hugs from a variety of people and interaction with dear friends are how I would normally replenish myself after a grueling workday, but there was no safe way to do that.

Come Back Tomorrow and I’ll Have More

April 17, 2020 

I’ve run out, 
Empty, 
No More,
Barely running on fumes. 

But come back 
Tomorrow. 
There will be more! 

More of me 
My humor 
My expertise 
My talents. 

I’ve used up
Everything today,
Ran desperately scarce! 

I spilled me 
Wide-open, 
Nothing left.
 
But daily I rejuvenate 
Refresh 
In my Quiet Time 
With God 
And start again 
With a full tank! 

So, don’t ask me
When I’m on empty 
To give more! 
That’s selfish! 

Ask me about
My availability. 
Ask me if I’m full 
Or empty. 
Don’t assume! 

I know me! 
I can tell 
The meter’s hanging 
Dangerously low, 
Near empty. 

I’m zapped, 
Nothing now, 
Today! 

But come back tomorrow, 
And I’ll have more! 

More of me 
More joy 
More compassion 
More energy! 
Totally more! 

Larada Horner-Miller, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better?, (2021): 95-99.

Finally,

When you finish, I hope you have reconciled the lost years and feel deeply better about how you handled it. In recovery, we say, “Denial is not a river in Egypt!” Face it, feel it and heal it!

Do you have a residual effects from the COVID-19 pandemic? If so, how have you dealt with them?


News, News, News!

Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? COVID-19
Read, reflect and respond!

~My new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? is a finalist in the 2022 New Mexico-Arizona Book Awards in the Body, Mind & Spirit Category. Winners will be announced in a couple of weeks.

~Wish You Were Here: A Novel by Jodi Picoult, one of my favorite authors, deals with the COVID pandemic in fiction as opposed to my nonfiction book. Check it out! Interesting story!

~MY FIRST AUDIOBOOK IS AVAILABLE: Go to Audible to buy my first audiobook, Let Me Tell You a Story. I’m working on Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? but have gotten stalled with shingles.

~Do you listen to podcasts? Here are three podcasts with interviews about my new book & some Flippo stories:

Just Another Square Dance Caller: Authorized Biography of Marshall Flippo. COVID-19
Grab your SmatPhone & read this hilarious book!

~Have you bought a copy of Flippo’s biography yet? Believe it or not—it’s been two years. Go here for your hardback or paperback: https://www.laradasbooks.com or at Amazon.

~For me, it’s Christmas all year long! Here’s a variety of Christmas greetings from Flippo & Neeca, featuring his song, “When It’s Christmas Time in Texas”: https://youtu.be/mpJCUGffU3A

Grief · Memoirs · My Books · My Thoughts · poetry · Spirituality

Afraid of Tough Topics—Not Me!

We'll get through it! Tough Topic

Am I afraid of tough topics? Not at all! Two of my books touch very heavy subjects: death and the coronavirus pandemic, and I felt compelled to write them, no matter what the consequences. A Time to Grow Up: A Daughter’s Grief Memoir addressed the death of my parents and my growth. Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? dealt with my experience with the coronavirus pandemic—another difficult concern.

Tough Topic #1—Death

A Time to Grow Up: A Daughter’s Grief Memoir

A Time to Grow Up book cover. Tough Topic

When my father died in 1996, my mother told me, “Everyone grieves in their own way.”

I took these words to heart when Mom passed away in 2013. I discovered that writing poetry was the best way of working through my fresh grief. Eventually, I penned dozens of intimate, heartfelt poems about my parents’ lives and legacies and my deep sorrow and gradual recovery and growth. Yes, it was a grief memoir but a growth memoir, as well.

I discussed the emotional challenges of caring for my parents at the end of their lives. My words will strike a chord with any worried caretaker or child watching over ailing but fiercely independent loved ones.

As I explored the nuances of bereavement through my poetry, I provided inspiration and comfort for readers coping with the same burdens. While many of my poems explore the depths of my anguish, others exude humor and warmth—a reminder that there is still always light in the world.

Besides my poems, I included biographical sketches about my mother and father, as well as appendices that provide coping tips, suggested activities, and resources for others dealing with intense bereavement. These appendices offer a world of resources for anyone who has lost a parent or both.

This book received several awards:

  • 2018 New Mexico-Arizona Book Awards “Finalist” in 2 categories: E-book Nonfiction and E-book Cover
  • 2018 Book Excellence Awards “Finalist” in the Memoir category
  • 2018 Independent Press Awards “Distinguished Favorites” in the Memoir category
  • 2017 New Apple Book Awards for Excellence in Independent Publishing ”Official Selection” in the Biography|Autobiography|Memoir category.
  • 2017 New Mexico-Arizona book awards “Finalist” in 2 categories: Biography (Other) and E-book Nonfiction.
Tough Topic #2—Coronavirus Pandemic

Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better?

Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? Tough Topic

I invite you to read, reflect and respond to the global pandemic of 2020 and successive months. I encouraged readers to think about how the pandemic affected them and how they adapted. The book is intended to be used as a journal, a safe keeping place to revisit 2020. I viewed the forced shelter in place as an opportunity for spiritual discoveries and renewed spiritual growth. The book incorporates what I learned during my year and more of solitude, a transformative process leading me to find a reconnection with my “God.” I struggled spiritually and emotionally. My emotions ran deep from fear, struggle, and despair going deeper into her faith, ultimately making me a better, not a bitter person. 

Themed chapters with poetry and prose add depth to the book. I divided the book into chapters with content developed from my blog over the years. Each chapter begins with a carefully chosen thought provoking quote complementing the theme. My prose and poetry are creative and soul-stirring. Both are extensions of the chapter’s theme. Many of the poems deal with the anxiety and depict the universal struggles of uncertainty during this time. Readers will find them inspirational and comforting. Reflective questions at the end of each chapter encourage reader participation to share their personal thoughts and stories as well as process hidden fears and concerns during time spent in quarantine. 

I felt this book offered a soulful looking back at this worldwide pandemic and then a step into the future, clear of the spiritual cobwebs of that experience.

Someone consoling someone else. Tough Topics
We can face tough topics together!
Finally,

But do readers want to read books about such tough topics? It seems the world’s fascination focuses on lesser topics of importance, a means of escape. Are these too scary? Too personal? Too intimate? Is it denial? Is there a major fear of feelings, tears and loss?

Hopefully, you will take this opportunity to delve into one or both tough topics with me through reading my books and then grow spiritually. I offer them to console your wounded or broken heart. The choice is yours. We can face tough topics together, survive and grow!


Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? meme Tough Topic
Read, reflect and respond!

~I’m not afraid of tough subjects like the coronavirus. Yes, I get people are tired of hearing about it, but. . . Visit my website to find out about my new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? and my other five books and three cookbooks: https://laradasbooks.com

~Wish You Were Here: A Novel by Jodi Picoult, one of my favorite authors, deals with the COVID pandemic in fiction as opposed to my nonfiction book. Check it out! Interesting story!

~WATCH MY NEW INTERVIEW on Douglas Coleman’s show dated August 5, 2022.

~MY FIRST AUDIOBOOK IS AVAILABLE: Go to Audible to buy my first audiobook, Let Me Tell You a Story. I’m working on Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? but have gotten stalled with shingles.

~Do you listen to podcasts? Here are three podcasts with interviews about my new book & some Flippo stories:

Just Another Square Dance Caller: Authorized Biography of Marshall Flippo meme. Tough Topic
Grab a drink & read!

~Have you bought a copy of Flippo’s biography yet? Believe it or not—it’s been two years. Go here for your hardback or paperback: https://www.laradasbooks.com or at Amazon.

~For me, it’s Christmas all year long! Here’s a variety of Christmas greetings from Flippo & Neeca, featuring his song, “When It’s Christmas Time in Texas”: https://youtu.be/mpJCUGffU3A

Coronavirus · Dancing · Gratitude · My Thoughts · Recovery

Grateful Now? Why?

Grateful

Why grateful now? The coronavirus has ruined plans for most of 2020, and now threatens to affect Thanksgiving plans! Many have died or lost family or friends. Irreparable losses! Cancellations, shelter-in-place, a world turned upside down! Is gratitude even possible in 2020?

For me, gratitude changes everything, but I’m not talking about an unrealistic Pollyanna attitude. Gratitude is a paradigm shift—a fractional shift one direction or the other off of the coronavirus to a larger, more glorious world.

So why is gratitude important now? For me, it’s an attitude that changes my perspective. I can focus on the negative, an easy choice. So the chaos and horror of the pandemic take over, and I obsess about today’s totals. Seeing what’s wrong comes naturally. Gratitude asks me to dig deeper and take a different route. Personally, I’ve had minimal losses, yet it has taken its toll on me but nothing like many with gigantic losses.

So what’s the power of gratitude? I concentrate on the positive, what’s right with the world, what I love about my life and suddenly I feel different!

The best way to be grateful: write a gratitude list. I learned about this tool in recovery. How do you do that? List two, five, ten things I’ve grateful for. Start small and increase as you practice this. In doing this, I take the focus off the problem and celebrate the solution.

Gratitude list

On November 19, 2020 here’s my gratitude list:

1. My sobriety

2. My God

3. My husband, Lin

4. My brother, Bub

5. My health

6. My family

7. My friends

8. My cat, Jesse

9. Our family ranch

10. My love of dancing

Today I sit in the waiting room at my husband, Lin’s eye doctor. He sits in an adjacent room, having his second cataract surgery in a month or so. The success of the first one prepared him for today’s ordeal. His natural grateful spirit often shows me the power of gratitude for the seemingly small things. His positive attitude contributed to the success of the other surgery, so I know the same thankful attitude will affect the outcome of this one.

Okay, it’s your turn! For what are you grateful? If you name someone specifically, be sure and tell he/she made your gratitude list today! I’d love to hear what you are grateful for during these hard times.


~My other current blog post, “Poetic View: Nine Months Later,” faces life after nine months with the coronavirus pandemic.

Coronavirus · My Thoughts · poetry

My Poetic View: The Wait for What? Caution?

Caution still loomed in the back of my mind even though I took about a month off from writing poetry in response to the coronavirus pandemic. My life’s demands took priority because I self-published a book I had been working on for two and a half years, it neared completion. The final requirements side-tracked me, but I returned to my poetic view of my experience of the pandemic and what was going on at the time with caution still being a main concern!

During my poetic slowdown, the coronavirus pandemic continued. People tired of the shelter-in-place restrictions. Michigan exploded with protests against the restrictions set in place by governor Gretchen Whitmer.

On April 15, 2020, USA Today’s headlines were, “Thousands converge to protest Michigan governor’s stay-home order in ‘Operation Gridlock’.” Thousands of cars equipped with bull horns and protest flags stymied traffic around the capitol.

On April 30, 2020, Fox News headlines stated, “Michigan protesters storm state Capitol in fight over coronavirus rules: ‘Men with rifles yelling at us’.” The media shared pictures (I will not show) of protesters on the capitol’s steps with assault weapons and rifles—no masks and social distancing and guns!

One photo seared into my memory was a lineup of six masked protesters inside the capitol with a variety of rifles and assault rifles standing in front of a door—what an eerie feeling that picture conjured up! Why the rifles?

The Guardians headlines said, “Armed protesters demonstrate against Covid-19 lockdown at Michigan capitol.” It sited a picture of a brazen mask-less protester screaming inches away from the policeman standing guard, doing his job!

After a couple weeks of mulling over these images and these stories, I wrote the following poems:

Waiting for caution
The Wait for What?

May 13, 2020

Since March 9
            I self-quarantined
                        For two weeks
            I stayed put!
 
Then it stretched
            To May 15!
 
March
            April
                        Half of May
 
Drastic
            Maybe
Wise and cautious
            For sure
 
I obey
            I wear a mask
                        I adhere to six feet
                                    In social distance
                                                I apply hand sanitizer
                                                            After each necessary outing!
Yet the battle rages
            Some say it’s a hoax
                        Protest
                        Violate the restrictions
 
In the name of the first amendment
            Free exercise of religion
            Freedom of speech
            Freedom of the press
            Right to peaceably assemble
            The right to petition the government
                        For redress of grievances.
 
In the name of the second amendment
            A well-regulated militia, being necessary
            To the security of a free State,
            The right of the people to keep
            And bear arms shall not be
                        Infringed.
 
The right to bear arms
            because of the coronavirus?
            Really?
 
Can you shoot this enemy?
            A minuscule virus particle
Why guns?
            Why assault weapons?
                                    A AT4 rocket launcher?
 
Why Confederate flags?
            Swastikas?
 
As this continues,
            Confusion mounts!
As the unrest continues,
            My confusion soars, too!

A virus
            Killing thousands
                        Demands denial and protests?
 
Why do you deny it?
            Ill-advised?
            Ignorant?
            Stupidity?
 
Why do you clamor
            About socialism
                        And your rights?
 
Selfish
            Self-centered
                        ME, Me, me!
 
What about compassion?
            Caring for others?
It’s not about you,
                        you,
                                    you!

The wait for normalcy 
            logic
                        and
                                    compassion to surface
may be a long time in coming!

For some!

For others
          it never left!
Caution
I Disagree! I Have That Right, But Can We Talk?

May 15, 2020

I want caution
            You throw caution
                        To the wind!
 
I want safety
            Six feet apart
            My mask
            My gloves
 
You brandish your rights
            Invade my space
                        Bare faced
                        Bare hands
                                    Smug in your beliefs!
 
Absolutely two world views
            Mine conservative
                        Yours liberal
            Mine concerned
                        About me
                                    And you
            Yours driven
                        About you
                                    Only!
 
Can we talk?
            Is there someplace
                        To agree?
            Or
            Are times of agreement
                        Gone?
 
Will you honor me
            With a mask and gloves
                        Not judge me
                        Not invade my space
            With my vulnerable spirit?
 
Will I honor you?
            Maskless
            Belligerent
            Defiant
 
Here's the problem
            I don’t understand
                         Your recklessness!
 
Why?
            Explain your reasons
                        For your actions
                                    Or
                                                Lack?
 
I need assurance
            This is life or death!
                        My life
                        My death
 
Therefore
            I’ll follow my convictions
                        I have that right
            You follow yours
                        You have that right too
Hopefully
            We’ll both
                        Make it through!
 
But I still disagree!

Over a month later and the argument over masks, social distancing and caution continues as the case numbers surge, and I still don’t understand!

I still don’t understand!


~DO YOU WANT AN PERSONALLY AUTOGRAPHED COPY OF THE FLIPPO BIOGRAPHY?   It’s available NOW! I am experiencing a delay from the publishers—sorry about that! Go to my website and pay for it there: https://www.laradasbooks.com

ALL FOUR E-BOOK FORMATS OF FLIPPO’S BIOGRAPHY AVAILABLE NOW.  Apple Books (US) – https://books.apple.com/us/book/just-another-square-dance-caller/id151164203                        Kobo (US) –  https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/just-another-square-dance-caller                                                      Apple Books (CA) – https://books.apple.com/ca/book/just-another-square-dance-caller/id1511642036                     Apple Books (UK) – https://books.apple.com/gb/book/just-another-square-dance-caller/id1511642036                    Apple Books (AU) – https://books.apple.com/au/book/just-another-square-dance-caller/id1511642036                   Amazon Kindle (US) – https://www.amazon.com/Just-Another-Square-Dance-Caller-ebook/dp/B088QS9RH8         Amazon Kindle (UK) – https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B088QS9RH8                                                                                 Amazon Kindle (CA) – https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B088QS9RH8                                                                                       Barnes and Noble Nook (US)  https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/just%20another%20square%20dance%20caller

~ RELEASE PARTY of Flippo’s biography streamed on Facebook Live — TBA! Be ready! Door Prizes, the inside story, Flippo song bytes & interview clips and more!

~Visit my web site for all the information you need about me and my books:  https://www.laradasbooks.com

~Whitey & Gladys Puerling, playful friends of Flippo’s, created a Fan Club. I thought it would be fun to recreate this group. Would you like to join the Marshall Flippo Fan Club Facebook page? Read interesting posts about Flippo’s life. https://www.facebook.com/groups/328325644382769/