Tag: family

How Do You Mourn the Loss of A Loved One?
family · Grief · My Thoughts · poetry

How Do You Mourn the Loss of A Loved One?

Larada Horner-Miller2 Comments

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Grief is a topic that many people turn their backs on–I challenge you to answer the question because I will!

My Aunt Willie Urbanoski died on Friday, October 12, 2018, and because of family circumstances, we didn’t have her memorial service until yesterday, November 10. We did have a private family burial on Thursday, October 18, 2018.

Yesterday, the service was full of stories, pictures, laughter and tears–a real celebration of a woman who lived to be 98 years old–almost 99 because her birthday was Wednesday, November 7.

A second cousin stationed in England couldn’t attend to service, so her sisters did a live feed to her, so she and her husband could attend virtually–a 21st century way to handle loss.

How do YOU mourn the dead? For family? For friends? We all do it differently. My Mom’s sage advice: do it your way. I have a strong need to attend the memorial, view the body and get closure to the relationship. My best friend, Candy, died in 2012, and I was sick and couldn’t attend her service, and I have regretted it for years–no closure for me.

I wrote my aunt a poem for Christmas, 2012, and a week after my Mom died in March, 2013, Aunt Willie asked me if I would read that poem at her funeral. I said I would, but I’d cry all the way through it. She said she didn’t care because she wouldn’t be there!

So yesterday, I mustered my strength and read it–I got almost to the end before the tears came. Here’s the poem–I hope you enjoy it!

La's Poem & John
Presenting My Poem–Some Humor for Sure

My Aunt Wee Wee

By: Larada Horner-Miller

December 25, 2012

Revised: November 9, 2018

You will always be Aunt Wee Wee!

As a child, Bub couldn’t pronounce “Aunt Willie,” so it came out

“Aunt Wee Wee,” and it stuck.

As I look back through my life,

You have always been there,

Aunt Wee Wee!

When I became an Aunt,

I followed your lead!

I wanted to touch my

nieces and nephews’ lives

the way you touched mine!

I have valued all the wonderful times

we spent together over the years.

You grace so many

of my memories!

As a toddler

I can remember

when I looked into your eyes, I saw a playful sparkle

saying,

“Yeah, Larada,

I love you!”

In my childhood,

at Branson dances,

I remember watching

you and Uncle Hughie dance,

and the fun you had.

I remember 4th of July picnics and fireworks

Bub and I couldn’t wait until you arrived with Black Cats!

You came all the way from Albuquerque!

As a family, we went to Albuquerque.

You shared your beautifully decorated cakes.

We went on shopping sprees to the mall.

Delicious Thanksgiving dinners shared!

Our fishing trips

Our time together at Springer lake

You sat religiously by the lake, pole in hand.

While Uncle Hughie and I set up our poles

and roamed!

My week stay with you in Albuquerque-

A visit to Old Town

The Tram and dinner on the top! I felt like a princess!

As a young adult

You attended all of my major life events:

My 8th grade graduation

Princess at the TSJC tournament

My high school graduation

My TSJC graduation

We’ve continued that

precious relationship into my adulthood.

My weddings

You attended my first 2 weddings.

No one attended the third.

Lin and I knew you were with us in spirit at ours.

As our second anniversary approached, Aunt Willie repeated often,

WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?

Yes, Lin and I celebrated our second anniversary

with you in Pueblo— pictures, cake, laughter and love abounded.

I had several special visits while you

were in Logan, UT and now in Pueblo.

Some people I’ve known for a short time

and they only know me one dimensionally.

You have known me forever, and you know the many

sides of me.

You smile, and

you make me smile.

You know all about me,

and you make me feel good

about being me.

You love to laugh and enjoy life.

Often you catch me by surprise

with your witty humor, and we share a belly laugh.

In that laughter

I am no longer 59; You are no longer 93.

We are young again, frolicking on the floor.

My Aunt Wee Wee!

That’s the power you have always had–to make me smile

To make me laugh and

To make me feel good about myself!

What a gift!

I haven’t called you

“Aunt Wee Wee” for years,

but you always will be — my Aunt Wee Wee!

Copyright © 2018 Larada Horner-Miller

How do you mourn the loss of a family member? A friend? I’d love to see your comments. Remember–there’s no right or wrong way to do it!

Visit my web site:  https://www.laradasbooks.com

Visit my Etsy Shop for holiday specials: Larada’s Reading Loft

Who is the Biggest Gambler in the World?
My Thoughts · Ranching

Who is the Biggest Gambler in the World?

Larada Horner-MillerLeave a comment
ace achievement banknote blackjack
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

What’s your guess?

  • Their livelihood depends on Mother Nature
  • They have no control over what they need to prosper
  • They watch the skies, hoping and praying for rain!
  • They go about their daily business while their hearts ache for a reprieve!
photography of a person riding horse
Photo by Brett Sayles on Pexels.com

My dad said repeatedly, “Ranchers and farmers are the biggest gamblers in the world–always depending on Mother Nature for the precious rain they need for crops, for reservoir water, and to grow grass.

Could you handle the stress? the strain? the not knowing? If you have a predictable payday, then you have no idea what these men and women face every day.

My brother and I inherited our family ranch five years ago, and the droughty years stress me out. This year we have gotten rain for grass but many of our reservoirs were empty all summer and finally have gotten a little in the last couple weeks.

We had a storm on Wednesday in the town I grew up in which is just 4 – 6 miles from where we need our ponds filled. We got almost two inches in town, but the storm lightened up the further east you went, so the reservoirs that need it right now preparing for the winter didn’t get it.

I agree with my Dad, a rancher his whole life, “Yes, they are the biggest gamblers, but the perks are worth it.”

Let it rain!

Could you be a rancher, a farmer?

 

← Back

Thank you for your response. ✨

Check out my books about the ranching life at my web site: https://www.laradasbooks.com

Visit my Etsy shop for my books:  Larada’s Reading Loft 

family · My Thoughts

Happy 4th of July—Our Plans Were Changed!

Larada Horner-MillerLeave a comment

For the last twelve years, our family tradition today is to be in Cuchara, CO, but because of the Spring Fire, all roads in Cuchara are closed, and firefighters are working hard to protect that delightful mountain village. My holiday has a dark shadow of sadness today.

So Plan B for the Horner family is a trip to Red River, NM for WestFest, a celebration of country life by Michael Martin Murphey.

As children, our aunt and uncle came up from Albuquerque, NM for the holiday and brought my brother and me Black Kat firecrackers. We swam at the Folsom Falls then returned to Branson for the fireworks display the local town fathers had organized. We started the evening’s fun with Sparklers then marveled at the colors and explosions.

All of my life my family has celebrated this day with fireworks, good food, and lots of laughter with family and friends. I will do the same today with an ache in my heart for Cuchara and the surrounding area where they are fighting for the survival of their homes and way of life.

Today I want to reflect on how blessed I am to live in this wonderful country–the land of the free and the Home of the brave. I cherish the rights I have to live as I choose, to believe in my God as I understand Him, and to have my political views. We each have those same rights; I encourage you to think about those rights today and be thankful and stand up for what you believe.

Happy 4th of July to you and yours! A special kiss and hug to my husband, Lin, who wasn’t able to join us today!

My Two Aunts — Two Strong Women
family · My Thoughts

My Two Aunts — Two Strong Women

Larada Horner-Miller3 Comments

I hope your Memorial Day weekend was great. My Memorial Day vacation has been full of family, especially two lovely, elderly aunts.

On Sunday we celebrated my Aunt Joan’s 90th birthday with a theme party. She loves the Kentucky Derby, so it was derby day at her house. We donned hats, her great-grandchildren had stick pony races, and I listened to wonderful family stories. Her five children were there, and many of her grandchildren too.

Aunt Joan is an amazing woman. She had seven children–one died at birth and her second oldest son died from heart problems about ten years ago. She was a hard-working rancher’s wife, contributing to the school activities and local community.

She is my Dad’s youngest sister, and she loved to ride horses. My Dad’s favorite story about her was she could rope a calf better than most men. In fact, when she was the rodeo queen, she did a roping demonstration.

My brother and I sat next to her to eat at her party. She told us she’d like to go sky diving–how about that!

Larada, Aunt Joan, Bub

On Monday we went to visit my 98 year old aunt in a nursing home in Pueblo, CO. We had a delightful day with her enjoying holiday barbecue fare–hot dogs and hamburgers. We visited, laughed and did a FaceTime phone conference with my husband who wasn’t able to come.

“I’m mad at you,” was her greeting to him. He wasn’t able to come on this trip but reassured her he’d join me on my June visit.

Aunt Willie worked in Albuquerque, NM at Sandia Labs for her career, raising one daughter. She loved decorating cakes as a hobby, and we all loved her humorous, gorgeous cakes.

Aunt Willie was nine years older than my Mom, her sister. My favorite memory of those two was at my Mom’s house at Christmas a few years ago. They were standing nose-to-nose, fists quenched, reigniting an annual disagreed–all in good fun.

One said, “You add milk.”

The other said, “No, Mama taught us to add water to make the turkey gravy.” This good-hearted disagreement went on at any holiday they served turkey.

My Mom passed away five years ago, and recently I asked Aunt Willie, “Are you the water or milk person in the turkey gravy dispute?”

She giggled and said, “I don’t remember!”

Larada, Aunt Willie

My life has been richer with these two. Long lives, happy dispositions–these two women embody what I hope my future holds. I hope you enjoyed my small portrait of two strong women that have influenced me. Who are the women in your life? Let me know–I would love to hear your stories.

Visit my web site: https://www.laradasbooks.com

Visit my Etsy Shop: Larada’s Reading Loft