Laughter & Death: A Paradox?

Featured Larada Horner-MillerLeave a comment

Laughter and death: a paradox? For sure, but I had an amazing experience this weekend that gave me a different perspective.

On Friday, April 5, I attended George’s funeral in La Junta, Colorado with my brother. Because of his likable personality, I had a feeling the church would be full, so we arrived about thirty minutes early. Pickup trucks lined the street—I was right. As we approached the church’s entry, people milled around at the door. People packed the entryway. Friends and family already filled the sanctuary, so we ended up in the Choir Loft.

What a nice service he had. They had beautiful country and western songs throughout the service like “Wherever You are Tonight” and a traditional one, “Precious Lord, Take My Hand.” A close friend shared stories about George that made us laugh and remember his great sense of humor—also his love for storytelling. The minister shared a short sermon. The service ended with a PowerPoint show with more country-western music.

Then on Saturday, April 6, they planned a graveside service which led me to write the following poem:

Is Death a Laughing Matter?

I stood at the crossroads

Between life and death.

It happens a lot now

At 70,

repeatedly.

Yesterday, my brother and I walk by

His wife’s grave as we walked

To George’s graveside service.

I stood near George’s casket

In the country cemetery

Near Branson, Colorado.

I brushed my hand across the edge

Of the blue smooth metal edge—

Like a familiar touch

To a friend’s shoulder

Standing nearby.

March winds blew

Across the southeastern Colorado plains,

Swirling dust and grit,

With a piercing cold edge,

Adding to my grief.

A sea of faces watched

The day blow by.

Some familiar—lifelong friends—

Some not!

I sought out his family.

I wanted to hug them,

To share their sorrow,

To touch George through them again.

I met his 89-year-old sister

I had heard of

But didn’t know.

She left Branson the year

Before I was born.

Excessive strong wind gusts hampered

The solemn ceremony planned.

A short thoughtful prayer filled the air instead.

Then the music began,

With somber lyrics,

Country-western flavor

Guitars and familiar sounds.

Tears ran down my cheeks.

Sorrow for the loss

Of a dear lifelong friend.

Sorrow and regrets for

No more of his stories.

As the last song started up, I recognized its intro

And singer, Joe Diffie.

I gasped; in the midst of tears,

I choked back a chuckle.

The chorus confirmed it: “Prop me up beside

the jukebox if I die.”

In the howling wind, I strained to hear the first verse,

But the chorus captured me

And everyone there.

Laughter erupted—

Release

Appropriate humor

Through her tears, his partner

Announced,

“George planned it all!”

At that point,

I laughed;

I cried.

The laughter comforted me,

because

George taught me a meaningful lesson yesterday:

Tears

Laughter

Death

Life

It fits together,

Not a paradox,

But life

Reality!

I witnessed an honest

Graveside service,

Not contrived

Solemn

But mixed with

Laughter and tears.

Isn’t that life?

Now it’s death for me!

Thank you, George,

Laughter and death mixed,

And I walked away smiling

Because of you!

In closing, as I age and continue to lose close friends and family, death has become a hot topic. George’s graveside service helped me get it all in perspective—be sure the celebration of your life reflects who you really are! And for me, poetry captures the essence of any life event!

Hair on Fire won 1st place in the March Nonfiction book cover contest on AllAuthors.com - laughter

Enjoy my interview on the podcast, T he Writing Table

~ Hair on Fire: A Heartwarming & Humorous Christmas Memoir available in audiobook format at the following places:

~SHOP TODAY FOR YOUR AUTOGRAPHED COPY! Shop at my E tsy Shop or my Shopify Store

Margaret Taught Me to Knit: Women’s History Month Continues!

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Margaret Lewis taught me to knit—a lifelong hobby I love! I continue celebrating Women’s History Month, and my personal heroines! Today, I honor Margaret Lewis, a lifelong friend and my Home Ec 4-H leader. I knit because of her!

Margaret Lewis at the 2013 Branson-Trinchera Reunion

This afternoon, I had a delightful conversation with Margaret Lewis and found out a bunch of information I didn’t know about her. When I stopped outside her house, childhood memories flooded me. During my childhood, Harry and Bea Warner lived in the house Margaret now lives in. I used to visit them regularly to get eggs. Such strong connections with the Warners and Margaret!

When I knocked at her door, she waved me in and we greeted each other warmly— she looked so good at 99 years old. Immediately, I started the interview and she aptly answered most of the questions with giggles and sighs ever so often.

FAMILY LIFE

Margaret Oxandaburu was born June 7, 1924 in Las Animas, Colorado. Her parents immigrated from France. They were French Basque. Her parents didn’t meet until they arrived in Las Animas and were there because of a couple, John & Jean Mary, who sponsored the two to come to the United States. This couple was called her parent’s “home parents.”

She was the youngest of six girls and grew up on their ranch south of Kim, Colorado, but her dad bought a house in Trinidad, 410 College Street. He took the six girls to Trinidad where she attended Holy Trinity Catholic School from kindergarten through twelfth grade.

After high school graduation, the six girls went to Trinidad State Junior College. Afterwards, Margaret went to Denver, Colorado to live with her sister Mary and husband Kenneth where she attended DU for several semesters. Then she finished her degree at Greeley with an elementary education certification.

After college, Margaret returned to their home ranch and rode a horse one to two miles to teach at Fallah Springs’ school for her first teaching assignment. Fallah Springs was fourteen miles south and east of Kim.

LEADING UP TO MARRIED LIFE

She met Don Lewis when he came home after the service. By that time, Margaret had several years of teaching under her belt. Also, by then she taught at Branson, Colorado. Because of the shortage of teachers with the men off to war, she taught English, history and math in the high school.

Branson Hotel & Restaurant - Margaret — Branson Hotel & Restaurant

At this time, she lived in the hotel ran by Mrs. Shaw which also had a restaurant. Two women teachers lived there: she and Clara Van Matre (who was a dear friend of my parents and our family). These two young women walked to school each morning together.

Don Lewis’ parents owned the ranch presently owned by Will Ward north of Branson. Margaret’s sister, Ray, and her husband, Toy, owned it for most of my life.

Don and Margaret married January 17, 1944 at Holy Trinity Church in Trinidad, Colorado. They had two children: Dave and Lori. Margaret lost both Don and Dave. But her family has grown exponential: she has seventeen grandchildren. Her daughter and husband live in Branson and take good care of her. And her grandchildren regularly keep in touch. Her eyes sparkled with pride when she talked of their accomplishments.

As she thought back over her life here in Branson, Margaret noted she taught over fifty years in Trinidad, Fallah Springs and Branson. She remembered a memorable trip to France with her granddaughter Kerry and her husband, Jacob. And she noted she easily conversed in Basque there.

4-H LIFE

Margaret led 4-H groups in Trinidad at East Side school when she taught there, but her longest run as a 4-H leader was in Branson, where she so deeply touched my life.

Thinking back, she remarked, “I taught a lot of girls to knit,” as we talked about her 4-H groups.

“You taught me to knit when I was ten,” I replied, “and I’m still knitting sixty years later.” Margaret taught me and her niece and my classmate, Kay, the same year to knit.

However, we didn’t talk about all the hours she taught me to sew, too! First year I made a red gingham apron, the requirement for the first year. Each year afterwards, the requirements got harder, and she continued to teach me more and more—how to put in a zipper, gather a skirt and so much more. Margaret dedicated hours to me and many others, teaching us individually!

OTHER MEMORIES

When I asked her about her favorite memory about Branson, she sighed, “I have so many. It’s a charming little town.”

I knew she had a close relationship with Ray, her sister, who lived in the old Lewis place north of Branson. She shared a hilarious story: they each had two-way-radios. So, when they talked on them, they talked in Basque. Other, listening in, heard them and had no idea what they were saying and these two mischievous women loved that. Margaret also helped Ray out with her nine children.

Her niece, Kay, and I were in the same class, so I was with them often. When I joined them on trips to Trinidad, they stopped by 410 College Street to visit Grandma Oxandaburu and Uncle Cadet. I remember hearing them speak Basque and they taught me how to say “hello” to them in Basque. It sounded so luscious! Uncle Cadet was her dad’s brother and they had worked together. She noted he was a bachelor.

ON LEAVING MARGARET TODAY

Before I left, she asked about my husband, Lin, remembering sitting next to him at the banquet at the prom at the school several years ago. She reminisced about watching my parents dance. I have known her my whole life. As we talked, she’d forget some details and said, “I’ll remember when we circle back.” What a memory she has for 99 years!

We ended our visit with her identifying five languages she can speak: French Basque, French, Spanish, English and Italian—what an amazing woman! As I gathered my things, we hugged a couple times, lingering over the memories and our sweet relationship. We moved to the front door, still holding on to more memories and relationships. I updated her on my family.

Yes, Margaret has always been a heroine of mine. This gentle, quiet, loving woman taught me so much, but more importantly—loved me and encouraged me my whole life! I look forward to big celebration in June of 100^th birthday!

Did you have an adult in your childhood that not only taught you skills but so much more? Let me know.

~ My book cover of Hair on Fire made it to the 2nd Round: Out of 100 covers only top 50 covers will go to the next round. Voting time again. Vote my book cover at #CoverOfTheMonth. https://allauthor.com/cover-of-the-month/17423/

~Enjoy my recent interview on the podcast, T he Writing Table

Hair on Fire: A Heartwarming & Humorous Christmas Memoir - Margaret

~ Hair on Fire: A Heartwarming & Humorous Christmas Memoir available in audiobook format at the following places:

~SHOP TODAY FOR YOUR AUTOGRAPHED COPY! Shop at my E tsy Shop or my Shopify Sto re

Friends · Memories · My Thoughts

March—Let’s Celebrate Women’s History Month

Featured Larada Horner-MillerLeave a comment

Last year during March I celebrated women in my life, not well-known women but family and friends. Looking at women in my life, I truly enjoyed honoring those women who touched me in a special way. I want to continue that tradition this year.

Last year, I wrote about

My mom, Elva Dickerson Horner – https://laradasbooks.com/2023/03/05/celebrate-women-this-month/
My three aunts: Helen Horner Waldroup, Joan Horner Doherty, and Willa Lee Dickerson Urbanoski – https://laradasbooks.com/2023/03/12/three-aunts-to-celebrate/
Rose Ward, a dear lifelong friend – https://laradasbooks.com/2023/03/19/rose-ward-another-woman-to-celebrate/
Kathi Raver, my best square dance girlfriend – https://laradasbooks.com/2023/03/26/kathi-raver-another-woman-to-celebrate/

So, this year I want to honor my childhood and lifelong friend, Candy McMillan Vargas.

Candy was born on July 8, 1952, and my brother, Harold (Bub) was born May 25, 1952. Our mothers enjoyed being young pregnant women together, telling hilarious stories about getting their car stuck in the mud with their enormous bellies. Candy’s dad and my dad were best friends. So, we grew up together.

For many years, Candy and I were the only girls in Branson, Colorado, a small ranching town. So, I remember my early playtime with her—donning our mom’s dresses, hats, and shoes. Then we threw purses over our shoulders. Those female items transported us to be Ethel and Lucy for sure.

Dressed up at the Sweetheart dance to gather donations - Jill, Candy & me — Dressed up at the Sweetheart dance to gather donations

So much of my childhood memories center on Candy and her family. They owned the grocery store in Branson, so we visited often. Also, back then, people visited each other’s houses in the evening.

Candy’s dad shared the same date as my birthday, June 27, so he and I had a special gift exchange each year—another thing that tied our families together.

Group of cheerleaders - 1963-64 - Candy bottom row, second from the right & me first on the right — Group of cheerleaders – 1963-64. Candy bottom row, second from the right & me first on the right

Candy moved away about the time she was twelve, but we didn’t lose contact. One morning she arrived at our doorstep at 6:00 AM, having just jumped off the train to come and see us. We felt like she was family.

Candy moved back to Trinidad, Colorado and graduated from high school there. We ended up going to Trinidad State Junior College together her last year, then she moved to Pueblo, Colorado. Candy was maid-of-honor at my first and second wedding. For my last wedding to Lin, she had passed away six weeks before.

She married Michael Vargas in Pueblo, and I was her matron-of-honor. Then they moved to Denver, just a few short blocks from where my first husband and I lived. I celebrated with her and Michael when their children, Sonia and Shane, were born.

When I graduated in 1986 from Colorado State University, Mom and Dad hosted a major shindig at a bar I frequented often, and Candy catered the delicious meal. She also partied like a crazy lady with me to celebrate my big day.

Candy listened to all my woes about my first husband, our marriage and divorce. After our divorce and my graduation from Fort Collins, Colorado, I lived with her and Michael for six months to get established in Denver because I got a teaching job there. I will always treasure those six months living with her and her family—special fun family times like cheering on the Broncos on Sundays and weekly watching Cheers, one of our favorite TV shows at the time. She always came to my rescue and added to my life.

When I moved to Raton, New Mexico, she continued having me cut her hair every six weeks and lined up enough friends to get perms and cuts to make my trip profitable. (I was a beautician for 14 years before becoming a teacher.).

Candy & me at Cripple Creek, Colorado celebrating my birthday

In 2005, when Lela, my sister-in-law died, we had a second funeral and her burial in Branson. Candy brought a tent to set up out in the backyard because of the hot July weather and helped Mom and I handle the meal after the service.

Diagnosed with kidney cancer, a group of her friends bought these “Team Candy Rocks!” t-shirts to support her. She loved the idea. I still have my “Team Candy Rocks!” t-shirt tucked away in a safe place.

Mom & I in our Team Candy Rocks T-shirts

Candy died September 13, 2011, and I had been experiencing some strange health episodes. The night she died, I had one of the worst ones yet at a square dance. After calling 911, I went to the hospital. They found nothing identifiably wrong, but my doctor strongly suggested I not drive to Denver, Colorado for her funeral on September 19. So, I didn’t, but I took the day off from work and had a private ceremony I prepared at home by myself. That broke my heart not to honor her by attending! I will always regret not saying goodbye formally to her and her family I love so much. Sonia, her daughter, told me later they had a rose for me to lay on her coffin at the burial site. Candy’s daughter takes after her mother in so many ways!

Candy’s hilarious sense-of-humor and jokes, her delicious home-cooked meals steeped in Texan traditions and her deep friendship remind me daily of my dear friend. I still see her sparkling eyes and hear her contagious laughter and know that I am a better person for having known her and been loved by her. Thank you, Candy, for everything you did.

Yes, March is here again, and I have looked forward to this time of honoring the women in my life. Candy holds a high place of honor for me!

Do you have a woman in your life you need to honor this month? Because of her death, I lost the opportunity of doing this while she lived, but it’s never too late. Be sure and honor the women in your life today!

~Vote for my book cover of Hair on Fire and make me the “Cover of the Month” queen. https://allauthor.com/cover-of-the-month/17423/

~Enjoy my recent interview on the podcast, T he Writing Table

~ Hair on Fire: A Heartwarming & Humorous Christmas Memoir available in audiobook format at the following places:

~SHOP TODAY FOR YOUR AUTOGRAPHED COPY! Shop at my E tsy Shop or my Shopify Sto re

Friends · My Thoughts

Rose Ward: Another Woman to Celebrate!

Featured Larada Horner-MillerLeave a comment

Rose Ward comes to my mind as I continue to celebrate National Women’s History Month, and focus on the women in my history. The other four women I’ve written about this month are gone, but Rose lives on at 94 years old! And she’s quite a woman!

Rose was born December 14, 1928, in a boxcar in Watervale, Colorado, a spot on the railroad lien between Trinchera and Branson, the town I grew up in. Her family lived in a boxcar there for many years because the railroad provided them for the workers. Often, she caught the train to Trinidad there to pay the family bills. Then, moving from the boxcar, they lived in a rock house owned by the Doherty’s for many years in Watervale.

This fascinates me because I have only known Watervale as a ghost town or small settlement.

Rose’s dad worked for the railroad—he started at thirteen and worked for fifty-two years. Watervale was a water stop on the line, a necessity for the railroad cars back then. She had two brothers and two sisters. I, not only grew up with Rose’s children, but her brother Hildo’s, too.

From Watervale, her family moved to Trinchera and bought a bar. She met Tom Ward, her future husband, at her parents’ bar there. She remembers he rode up on horseback, a real cowboy.

Tom asked Rose’s dad if they could marry. On December 20, 1952, Tom came for her, and her mom wasn’t even awake yet. Rose wore a beautiful black dress. As they drove to Raton, New Mexico, to be wed, the car stopped and they had to crank it. She worried about it stopping, but it finally started up and they made it to Raton and wed. The young couple had a second wedding at the Catholic church in Trinchera.

During their young married life, they lived out on a ranch where she had to haul water and use an outhouse. Rose had had enough.

“Take me home,” she told Tom. So, he gave her a sizeable check and took her to her parents.

When she arrived home, she told her dad, “I left Tom.”

He had a quick response, “Go back to Tom!” so away she went.

So, Tom changed ranches, and their next home had another problem—skunks! So, Rose left again to her mother’s. Then, Tom changed ranches again and found a wonderful spot with Tom and Jack Morrow.

Tom and Rose raised four children. Tom passed away on October 23, 2003. They have ten grandchildren, twenty great-grandchildren and two great great-grandchildren. You can see that Rose enjoys her large family by all of her pictures surrounding her in her home today.

Rose also gave foster children a home, so many she can’t count them!

Growing up, I remember Rose in my life mostly as the mother of my classmates and friends. I got more acquainted with her after my dad died in 1996. She had moved to Branson, and Mom and Rose became close friends. Yes, they were friends for decades before that, but these two widows became extremely close in the loss of their husbands. Rose helped Mom with her loss of dad. They had daily contact and helped ease the horrible loneliness of women who had spent decades with their husbands.

Rose enjoyed going to our ranch with Mom. Often, these two small powerful women sat on Mom’s front porch facing a busy county road, drinking beer or Tequila Rose and not acting like grieving widows. They both had rascally personalities and fed off of each other. Supporting small town life, they went to school activities together and just had fun together.

Since Mom died in 2013, I try to visit Rose anytime I’m in Branson. We laugh, have ice cream or any of her delicious desserts, and talk about Mom and the gossip of town. Any time Rose reminisces about her childhood or younger life with Tom, I sit back and enjoy the tale. What a different time that was! I can’t imagine Branson without Rose.

What a hard worker Rose has been as long as I have known her, whether it’s cooking up dozens of tamales or cleaning someone’s house. She just offered to clean my house this past week! Amazing!

My husband, Lin, loves to be with Rose, discussing their gardening interests. He also loves to dance with her, as shown in this picture at the Branson-Trinchera Reunion.

Rose and Lin dancing at the Branson-Trinchera Reunion — Lin and Rose Dancing!

Rose defies the stamp of what 94 years old looks like. She lives alone, cooks delicious Mexican delicacies like tamales and sopapillas and still takes care of herself. Each morning she starts her day off with a cup of coffee with her son, then her daughter checks on her in the evenings and provides an evening meal if needed. Her out-of-town family members visit often, and she has pictures up of all her precious children.

She still does embroidery work and likes to keep a jigsaw puzzle going. In the evening, I often catch her watching her favorite Spanish Telenovela, and she has bought each one of my books!

Her laughter, her mischievous twinkle in her eyes and her loving, giving heart makes me choke up here in writing this!

What women in your history make you smile? Tell me about her/them!

In collaboration with Rose’s daughter, Jackie Mock

If you missed my other National Women’s History Month celebrations of four amazing women, here are the links:

Celebrate Women This Month – about my mom
Three Aunts to Celebrate – about my three aunts: Aunt Helen, Aunt Joan and Aunt Willie

News, News, News!

All available at my website: laradasbooks.com or Amazon.com

~For me, it’s Christmas all year long! Here’s a variety of Christmas greetings from Flippo & Neeca, featuring his song, “When It’s Christmas Time in Texas”: https://youtu.be/mpJCUGffU3A

Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? meme - Rose — Grab a cup of coffee and enjoy a chapter!

~My new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? WON the 2022 New Mexico-Arizona Book Awards in the Body, Mind & Spirit Category. Have you bought your copy yet? Vist my website: laradasbooks.com or at Amazon.

Just Another Square Dance Caller: Authorized Biography of Marshall Flippo meme - Rose — A relaxed time with a latte and Flippo!

~Have you bought a copy of Flippo’s biography yet? Believe it or not—it’s been three years. Go here for your hardback or paperback: https://www.laradasbooks.com or at Amazon.

Colorado · family · Friends · My Thoughts

A Reunion Reborn!

Featured Larada Horner-Miller2 Comments

Football game at the Branson-Trinchera Reunion — Football games and

Ice cream and dessert social at the Branson-Trinchera Reunion — Football games and

Last week on Saturday, August 27, 2022, the Branson-Trinchera Reunion saw a rebirth after being canceled for two years because of the pandemic. The creative committee came up with a different format, which attracted younger alumni.

So, this is how the day looked! The celebration started off at Branson’s new amazing football field with two games—first the junior high and then the high school. Many alumni circled the football field to cheer on both teams. We didn’t have football when I was in school. In fact, the football field is where the baseball field used to be!

The senior class manned the concession stand and provided needed refreshments on a hot day. What fun I had talking to old friends in the cafeteria—hugs galore!

After the two school games, there was an alumni flag football game. Several recent graduates stood in front of me and my car during the game, eager to get back on the field. As the high school game drew closer and closer to its finish, they put on their cleats and stretched muscles, ready to get on the field once more. During this game, the festivities began in the gym with an ice cream and dessert social. The committee provided the ice cream; the alumni brought the delicious desserts.

Keeping with tradition, the committee displayed Tom Cummins’ amazing historical photo collection and land plats. Many alumni with their families strolled by the photos, and I heard exclamations and shouts when someone recognized a relative.

The atmosphere of lifelong friendships and storytelling filled the air. What a pleasant experience! We only had a few “ole timers,” but people clustered around them to show their love and respect. The sad truth—we don’t have many “ole timers” left!

Kaylinn Gilstrap, a professional photographer, added an art show to the festivities, with its opening reception on August 13, 2022 from 3:00—6:00 PM and its closing reception coinciding with the reunion from 5:00—7:00 PM. This art show added quite an artistic flair to the traditional reunion. Many people ventured up to the old County Garage building to view the amazing artwork from many local artists and alumni.

I served on this committee for about twenty-five years, and we had seen a major decline in attendance. The “ole timers” were passing away. Many alumni from the 60s, 70s and 80s, for whatever reason, chose not to attend the reunion, and I don’t understand why. I love the fact that we had it this year—maybe different, but we had it.

When I first saw the flyer announcing a change of date and format, I have to admit I was skeptical. I couldn’t see how our elderly alumni could attend the football games, then stay for the social time with ice cream and desserts. I thought it would be too long! It worked!

Finally, it wasn’t the old format, but is that so bad? This innovative committee worked hard to provide the event we all love—a time to get together with family and friends. You can’t beat that.

And now looking towards 2023 and the future. Next year we will celebrate 100 years for the Branson school. What a time to celebrate! (The black-and-white picture is the original Branson School!)

~WATCH MY NEW INTERVIEW on Douglas Coleman’s show dated August 5, 2022.

~MY FIRST AUDIOBOOK IS AVAILABLE: Go to Audible to buy my first audiobook, Let Me Tell You a Story. I’m working on Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? but have gotten stalled with shingles.

~Do you listen to podcasts? Here are three podcasts with interviews about my new book & some Flippo stories:

Chat & Spin Radio, from Friday, June 24, 2022. Join us for a lively description of all my books!
Book Talk–June 3, 2022
Live on Purpose Podcast–March 17, 2022
Zbooks.com–January 19, 2022
Apostrophes, A Writers Series with Double DD–January 10, 2022
The On Purpose Podcast–January 10, 2022

Just Another Square Dance Caller: Authorized Biography of Marshall Flippo meme. Reunion — Grab a last drink on the beach with Flippo & enjoy!

~Have you bought a copy of Flippo’s biography yet? Believe it or not—it’s been two years. Go here for your hardback or paperback: https://www.laradasbooks.com or at Amazon.

~For me, it’s Christmas all year long! Here’s a variety of Christmas greetings from Flippo & Neeca, featuring his song, “When It’s Christmas Time in Texas”: https://youtu.be/mpJCUGffU3A

~Wish You Were Here: A Novel by Jodi Picoult, one of my favorite authors, deals with the COVID pandemic in fiction as opposed to my nonfiction book. Check it out! Interesting story!

Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better meme. Reunion — Read, reflect and respond!

~I’m not afraid of tough subjects like the coronavirus. Yes, I get people are tired of hearing about it, but. . . Visit my website to find out about my new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? and my other five books and three cookbooks: https://laradasbooks.com

Memories · My Thoughts

Places from my Childhood

Featured Larada Horner-Miller2 Comments

Places from my childhood in Branson, Colorado, floated to my consciousness today. There are four places I loved: the store, the Community church, the jailhouse. I’m in Branson, visiting and took a walk today to a friend’s house. I passed the church and the jailhouse on the way. A smile crossed my lips as memories surfaced for each place.

On my return trip, I passed the foundation of the store. As I walked by, I marveled at the size of the foundation—as a child, the building looked so big. Today it looked so small! Memories overcame me! In my book, This Tumbleweed Landed, I wrote poems about each of these places. I’d like to share them with you!

Branson Community Church

The Branson Community Church
small and quaint.

People that touched my life
Maynard Bowen,
Walt Graham
Ministers of God, who took the time for me.

The Loudens
The Gilstraps
The Smiths
The Warners
The Cummins
Mabel Survant
Mrs. Jamieson

Sunday School teachers
and family friends who let me sit with them,
singing my songs out loud when I couldn’t even read.

Beautiful old hymns and singing.

They loved me, taught me, and encouraged me.
A safe place to be on Sunday morning,
and a nice place to meet God.

Youth group on Sunday night games
and talking about God
Youth group picnic and camp-outs at the Gilstraps
and the annual Christmas programs.

One year, at the Christmas program
I was an angel
with the other young girls.
Donned in our white robes, wings, and haloes,
we walked in a straight line carrying lit candles.

The girl behind me got too close
and caught my hair on fire!
Our teacher quickly handled the situation,
and I wasn’t burned.

The program went on.

The Jailhouse

A landmark
That everyone wants to be pictured in.
Close the door, stand behind the bars
and smile.

Two cells
A window in each
And also, a hard bed of concrete in each.

Numerous stories
about notorious criminals
who slept there and broke out!

A special place for us!
Scott Warner would steal
cigarettes from his mom.
Bub and I would break
a piece of the salt lick
stored in Grandad Horner’s garage.
It was for our cattle.

We would meet at the jail.
Smoke then suck on the salt lick
to hide the smell of
the cigarette smoke.

I felt so sophisticated.
So grown-up,
So fashionable.
Smoking!

Like
Dad
Clara and Millard
Reu
Uncle Gay and Aunt Helen
But I never liked
The taste of it.

Years later Bub and I told Mom
About our clandestine adventure.
She said she knew what we were doing.
She teasingly said,
“The smoke billowed out of the jail’s window.”
But she never questioned us
Or Disciplined us.

A growing up safe adventure!

The Store

The Branson Store - places from my childhood — The Branson Store

Dust, hard wood floor; aisles of adventure. 
Goods for sale—
Eggs, milk, and beef;
all the regular staples of life.
The McMillans owned it— 
Roy and Mokey.

Oversized paintings on the walls— 
a gold miner,
wild animals images 
long forgotten; 
painted by Julian Hancock.

But my favorite part
the candy!
A big wooden display case,
taller than me.
Glistening glass windows separated me 
from the mouth-watering delights.So big, so
wonderful.
So many colors, sizes, shapes, and 
designs.

I had a quarter—
I could buy the moon!

My walk awakened memories of these three places—they flooded me with Candy’s laughter at the store, Scott and the adventures of cigarettes in the jail, and so many people who loved me in that beautiful quaint little church.

Do you have childhood memories of special places? Share them in the comment section.

~NEW PODCAST to be released Thursday, March 17, 2022, discussing my new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? : Live on Purpose Podcast at https://liveonpurposeradio.com/category/podcast/

~MY FIRST AUDIOBOOK IS AVAILABLE: Go to Audible to buy my first audiobook, Let Me Tell You a Story

~Do you listen to podcasts? Here are three podcasts with interviews about my new book & some Flippo stories:

~Buy a copy of Flippo’s biography on my website: https://www.laradasbooks.com or at Amazon.

~Here’s a variety of Christmas greetings from Flippo & Neeca, featuring his song, “When It’s Christmas Time in Texas”: https://youtu.be/mpJCUGffU3A

Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? meme

~Are you on a spiritual path? Do you want to heal from the horrible effects of the pandemic of 2020? Visit my website to find out about my new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? and my other five books and three cookbooks: https://laradasbooks.com

family · God · My Thoughts

Advice I’d Give the Teenage Larada

Featured Larada Horner-Miller6 Comments

Wise advice to a receptive spirit can make all the difference! The bad news—teenagers think they know everything and rarely listen. My teenager, Larada, has a receptive spirit today and agrees to listen to the wisdom of the crone Larada. For the first time, I’m using the prompt suggested by the Ultimate Blog Challenge and feel it has lots of possibility.

First, my top advice

Be yourself! As a teenager, I got so consumed by the popular view of my friends. Our jeans had to be long enough to touch the ground in the back, and we had to wear Wranglers. Once Dad bought me Levis, and I hated them. I had to have long straight hair and wore it parted on the side. I had a little curl on one side, so mine never hung straight.

By being quiet and not being authentic, people never really knew the real me because I didn’t share her. It took years to find her, but the “me” I found is delightful, energetic and a strong leader. Trust yourself!

Second piece of advice

My social life isn’t everything! Almost every Saturday night found the Horner family at a local dance, so my normal was an active social life. Then, when a snowstorm hit and we had to stay home, I mourned the loss of not being out and about.

I continued this mindset for most of my adult life, but the coronavirus pandemic forced me to learn balance in that area. Balance provides time with others, then time alone to become acquainted with the most important person in the world, me!

Third nugget of advice

Not having a boyfriend is okay! AS a teenager, I obsessed about boys, boyfriends, not having one, having one but thought he was the wrong one!

After periods of being single, I realized the importance of being okay as a solo. Then when I remarried, I had lots to offer to the relationship. You are enough!

Fourth snippet of advice

Be proud of your heritage. I remember being ridiculed when we went to Trinidad, Colorado, to shop. The “towny” kids called us “Sh*t kickers” which embarrassed me. Over the last seven years, I have written six books and five of them celebrate my heritage and family. Embrace your history!

Fifth morsel of advice

Don’t sweat the small stuff! Younger Larada worried about everything, spending too much time focussing on the “what ifs?”

“Let go and let God” had become a mantra of mine today, a slogan from recovery.

Last bit of advice

Focus on your spiritual life! As a teenager, I believed in Jesus, but my faith took a backseat. Popularity and peer pressure ruled my life, causing me to make life choices not centered in my faith.

Today, I have a strong faith, seasoned over the years with lots of pain, disappointments, and struggles. As I processed all of this, I leaned in closer and closer to my God.

Finally,

The teenage Larada did as well as she could with her limited knowledge. As a crone, I offer my advice, Larada, for your best!

Do you talk to the younger you? If so, what do you say?

Visit my website to find out about my new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? and my other five books and three cookbooks: https://laradasbooks.com

Check out Cyber Week Specials at my Etsy Shop, Larada’s Reading Loft, on select books! 40% off of select Individual books, 40% off of select bundles and 50% off of digital copies! These books make the perfect gift for your friends and family.

Friends · My Thoughts · square dance · Travel

Part 2: Two Special Friends Continued!

Featured Larada Horner-Miller2 Comments

Kathi twirling - Part 2 — Kathi Twirling

Part 2 of my series on two special friends continues today. I met Kathi Raver at Duke City Singles square dance club in 1997, excited to have a younger woman to relate to—she was a teacher, too! She immediately jumped in and took part in the club’s leadership.

Kathi stood nearly six-foot-tall and I’m 5 feet 3 inches, so we were like Mutt and Jeff for sure, but we loved to dress alike with our square dance clothes. When she died, we had about thirteen outfits alike.

One year to promote the Fling, we went to TASSD (Texas Area Single Square Dancers) in Amarillo, Texas—Art Tangen, our club caller, was calling. So, we decorated our petty pants on our backside with, “I (a heart) Art!” Then we mooned him when he was calling, showing him our petti pants and our support. Someone took a picture of Kathi’s bottom, and they featured her on the TASSD newsletter the next month.

I had been the chairperson for the New Mexico Singles Fling for several years, and she became my co-chair, then chaired it for several years. I stayed onboard the committee then and did the publicity for her. We had so much fun on that committee, producing major successful event, one right after the other.

For years, we did an outfit check before a dance weekend to see what we would wear each night. Kathi made several of my square dance outfits when she was chairing the Fling. She always felt that it helped me out because she liked to sew and I did the computer stuff for us for the Fling.

In 2000, she and two other women square dancers from Albuquerque went to Oklahoma City for Dance-A-Rama, the national single square dance festival. They came home and convinced me to chair the Dance-A-Rama in Albuquerque in 2003.

To promote Dance-A-Rama, 2003, the committee traveled to Richmond, Virginia, Norfolk, Nebraska and Dallas, Texas. Those travel trips top the list of my memories with Kathi. We had a blast doing it, and again, we had a major success. After DAR, 03, we promised each other we would go into the same nursing home and remember DAR, 03 and all of our fun antics over the years.

During this time, Kathi’s melanoma came back with a vengeance after being in remission for twenty years. It broke my heart to watch my spirited, fun-loving friend slow down as she dealt with this horrible disease. She continued working and daily gave herself shots as needed.

In 2004, Kathi met Lin Miller, and immediately they connected. In 2005, I treasure the memory of being present at Festigal, an annual square dance festival in Gallup, New Mexico where they met, when Lin asked her to marry him. Her face said absolute shock.

We hung out together with my ex-husband. We danced all over the Southwest together. When we were home, we danced at Duke City Singles on Friday night, then afterwards played cards until the wee hours of the morning.

Kathi’s the one responsible for my red hair. At a dance in Norfolk, Nebraska, in 2007, we went out to have breakfast. She saw a woman standing in line in front of us. Casually, she whispered in my ear, “Go ask her what color she uses. You’d look great with red hair.”

So, I did. The women chuckled, “Hot Tamale.” I came home and colored it and loved it. I returned to my natural color after a year, but in 2013 I went back to “Hot Tamale” and have had it red ever since. Every time I color it, I think of her.

During the years, we traveled together a lot. In 2008, we went to Branson, Missouri with two other couples. We cried at the Roy Rogers Museum during the show with Roy’s grandson.

In 2008, my ex and I broke up, and Kathi and Lin took me under their wing. Kathi went house hunting with me and her sister-in-law was a realtor. She would tell her sister-in-law, “Larada can’t afford this place.”

When I moved into my new townhouse, Kathi helped me find it. After getting instructions from her brother on how to do it, she hooked up my gas dryer. She climbed behind the dryer with barely enough room to get around in. She did it to save me $85.

In thinking about relationships, Kathi had a brisk attitude about them: give your mourning time of six months, then get on with life. She had a hard time watching me deal with my recent divorce—she wanted me to move on.

Her cancer came back with a vengeance again, and she kept beating it, but she couldn’t for the last time. Her powerful spirit still shown through, though. When the ambulance drove her to the hospice in Albuquerque, they went to the wrong hospital, and she had to direct them to the right one! Leave it to Kathi.

Kathi died on November 25, 2009, eleven years ago today. I felt privileged to be by her side when she died. My heart felt shattered as I stood by her bed and witnessed her last breath after our fourteen years relationship. What a privilege to be there!

Her spirit lives on around me today—because Lin, her husband, and I ended up together and married. We live in her house she built. Some might be uneasy about this. I have never had an issue because I remembered her strong directive when my ex and I broke up—take six months and get on with life.

Lin and I had a very interesting confirmation about our relationship from a mutual friend of ours and Kathi after she died. We’re all on the committee of an annual dance, Hot August Nights. Kathi and this friend were talking in the kitchen. Kathi had been battling her last round of cancer. She watched me on the dance and told our friend, “I hope Lin and Larada get together if something happens to me. They would make each other happy.” That was August; she died in November!

So every day I get to thank Kathi for so much! The memories, the fun, the craziness an her beautiful house! And she gave me Lin!

Part 2 features Kathi; Part 1 featured Candy. I’m so fortunate to have had two friends like these two women, and I carry them with me each day.

Here’s the Gratitude Log again if you need it. I shared a couple days ago.

Do you ever buy clothes alike? Have you ever been present with a friend dying? What did you take away from it?

Visit my website to find out about my new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? and my other five books and three cookbooks: https://laradasbooks.com

family · Friends · My Thoughts

Two Special Friends I’ve Lost: Part 1

Featured Larada Horner-Miller4 Comments

Three friends -one with umbrella. Two Special Friends

Two special friends came to mind today as I pondered who to write about in all my friends I have across the United States. These two precious ladies came up: Candy McMillan Vargas and Kathi Raver Miller. Both have died from cancer, but their influence in my life lingers years after their deaths. They both helped me soar and succeed in ways I never imagined! Kathi died in 2009, and Candy died in 2011. Here’s how Candy touched me so deeply, and tomorrow I will tell Kathi and my story!

Candy McMillan Vargas

So much of my childhood memories center on Candy and her family. They owned the grocery store in Branson, so we visited often. Also, back then, people visited each other’s houses in the evening.

We ended up going to Trinidad State Junior College together her last year, then she moved to Pueblo, Colorado. Candy was maid-of-honor at my first and second wedding. I think I exhausted her out for the next couple.

She married Michael Vargas in Pueblo, and I was her matron-of-honor. Then they moved to Denver, just a few short blocks from where we lived. I celebrated with her and Michael when their children, Sonia and Shane, were born.

Candy listened to all my woes about my first husband and our marriage. After our divorce and my graduation from Fort Collins, Colorado, I lived with her and Michael for six months to get established in Denver. She always came to my rescue.

In 2005, when Lela, my sister-in-law died, we had the funeral and burial in Branson. Candy brought a tent to set up out in the backyard because of the hot July weather and helped Mom and I handle the meal after the service.

Mom and I with our Team Candy t-shirts on. Two Special Friends — Mom and I with our Team Candy t-shirts on.

Diagnosed with kidney cancer, a group of her friends bought these “Team Candy” t-shirts to support her. She loved the idea.

Candy died September 13, 2011, and I had been experiencing some strange health episodes. The night she died, I had one of the worst ones yet. Needing to call 911, I went to the hospital. They found nothing identifiably wrong, but my doctor strongly suggested I not go to her funeral on September 19. So, I didn’t, but I took the day off from work and had a private ceremony I prepared at home by myself. That broke my heart not to honor her by attending! I will always regret not saying goodbye formally to her and her family I love so much.

Larada & Candy, Cripple Creek for Larada's birthday. Two special friends — Larada & Candy, Cripple Creek for Larada’s birthday

Candy’s hilarious sense-of-humor, her delicious home-cooked meals and her deep friendship remind me daily of my dear friend. I still see her sparkling eyes and hear her contagious laughter and know that I am a better person for having known her and loved by her. Thank you, Candy, for everything you did.

Do you have a best friend? Have you thanked him or her lately?

Here’s the Gratitude Log again if you need it. I shared a couple days ago.

Visit my website to find out about my new book, Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? and my other five books and three cookbooks: https://laradasbooks.com

family · Mom · My Thoughts

Clothesline—A Thing of the Past?

Featured Larada Horner-Miller4 Comments

Clothesline and laundry day were a part of my childhood. Mom hung out the clothes weekly on our clothesline until her dying day. She loved the smell of sheets that had blown in the breeze all day, and I inherited the love for that sweet fragrance. Are clotheslines still a viable part of today’s world?

In the past, a walk through a neighborhood on laundry day showed so much about the families living there. Just an inventory of the clothes blowing in the wind told if a family lived in that house or a single, if the children were boys or girls. It depicted what taste in clothes the wife had or what kind of work the husband did. So, those people strolling by could glean much in a scrutiny of the clothes on the line.

In our small country town, jeans and cowboy shirts filled the clotheslines on wash day, which was usually Monday. The women wore dresses and aprons, so they blew freely in the breeze. The boys dressed like their dads and the girls like their moms, so miniature similar outfits identified children lived there. We didn’t have any exotic characters in our town, so the lines didn’t shock any of the passers-by.

What brought this topic up for me right now? I had some work done on my house in Branson, Colorado, a couple of weeks ago. The worker called me up and asked if he could take down the clothesline because he needed to get mechanical equipment into the yard. The line was in the way.

“Go ahead,” I responded quickly, but then I have been mulling it over for the last couple of weeks. Yes, it was okay to do, but it’s a part of my history I cherish. The many memories I have came rushing back, a real mixed bag, though!

One of the stories Mom told us growing up worried her as a young mother. She had heard a story about another family who had a newborn and a thirteen-month-old like my brother and me. I was the youngest. The mom was outside hanging out laundry (probably diapers with two little ones like us), and she heard the baby crying. Nearing completion, she finished her chores before going inside. Before she could get there, the thirteen-month-old had grabbed the newborn out of the crib and drug it outside to his mom, killing the baby.

So, Mom told us repeatedly the fear she had anytime she spent time outside hanging up laundry on the clothesline. She said she ran inside every few minutes to check on us and worried about it constantly. As an adult in hearing this tale, I could hear Mom’s anguish and concern still, years later.

Wringer washing machine - clothesline — Vintage Washing Machine with Squeezing Rollers – path included

As older children, about four and five, we loved to help Mom on laundry day. She had a wringer washing machine which fascinated us. Mom’s didn’t look like the image above—it was porcelain and a newer model. My brother, Bub, liked to help Mom push the clothes through the wringer, and she often cautioned him to be careful. I was young enough to be just his cheerleader and observer.

One summer day, Mom did the laundry outside like so many other days, and Bub neglected to be careful and pushed his hand too far into the wringer with the clothes. His hand got caught in the wringer. He screamed, trying to pull his hand out but he couldn’t; I screamed in unison with him. Mom panicked and ran next door to our neighbor, Edna Fry. They came running over, and Edna immediately hit the release and Bub’s hand fell out. The area around his thumb suffered the most damage, but he didn’t need stitches.

Here’s how a wringer washing machine works:

https://dengarden.com/appliances/How-to-Use-a-Wringer-Washing-Machine

Those early sad memories have stayed with me for years, but the smell of clothes hung out on the line—that’s what I remember, mostly! That luscious fresh air smell of sheets can’t be beat—marketers today can’t bottle that refreshing aroma. Also, white clothes sparkled after being outside bleached white in the sun.

As a young married woman in Denver, Colorado, I continued what I Mom taught me—hang your laundry out on a clothesline. One evening, after making my bed with clean sheets that smelled delicious, I sat down when I finished and got stung by a bee I had wrapped up in the top sheet—ouch!

In 1980, when we moved to a new house in Loveland, Colorado, the covenants didn’t allow clotheslines, so I got away from using one. That has continued for me after that, but Mom continued using hers until she died.

After she finished washing her clothes, Mom hooked her bag of wooden clothespins on the side of her little cart and wheeled it outside. Quite a feat in the dirt! Any passers-by visited with her as she worked and she with them. It was a community time. Often, I came home, welcomed with something waving to me on the clothesline, and it felt inviting.

So, when I return to Branson this next week, Mom’s clothesline has disappeared, so no welcoming committee, but the memories live on.

Did you use a clothesline? Do you have one now? Can you describe the smell? (Scroll below to comment)

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Coronavirus Reflections: Bitter or Better? promotion - clothesline

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Flippo on a coffee table - clothesline — Add Flippo’s Biography to Your Library!

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Tag: Branson

Laughter & Death: A Paradox?

Is Death a Laughing Matter?

Goodreads reviews for Coronavirus Reflections

Margaret Taught Me to Knit: Women’s History Month Continues!

FAMILY LIFE

LEADING UP TO MARRIED LIFE

4-H LIFE

OTHER MEMORIES

ON LEAVING MARGARET TODAY

Goodreads reviews for Coronavirus Reflections

March—Let’s Celebrate Women’s History Month

Last year, I wrote about

Goodreads reviews for Coronavirus Reflections

Rose Ward: Another Woman to Celebrate!

Goodreads reviews for Coronavirus Reflections

News, News, News!

A Reunion Reborn!

Places from my Childhood

Branson Community Church

The Jailhouse

The Store

Advice I’d Give the Teenage Larada

First, my top advice

Second piece of advice

Third nugget of advice

Fourth snippet of advice

Fifth morsel of advice

Last bit of advice

Finally,

Part 2: Two Special Friends Continued!

Two Special Friends I’ve Lost: Part 1

Candy McMillan Vargas

Clothesline—A Thing of the Past?