For most of my adult life, I have struggled with “here” and “there.” I grew up, moved and had my adult home but my home in Branson, Colorado always called to me.
After our move to Panamá, this poem came up when I was visiting in Branson in December 2025. Witness my current struggle with “here” and “there”!
Here & There: Juggling Two Lives
The familiar train whistle blows
And I know I’m home
In Branson,
A sound that echoes through my childhood.
The wind blows
Dust devils twirl on the plains.
The mesa towers to the southwest of us.
Saddlerock hangs to the west
As another reminder of home.
This my here now!
Our family ranch calls to me
Dad voices his familiar stories
In my heart
Granddad looms large in my history
Mom’s sweet presence and squeals of delight
Echo in my soul
Memories overflow
Even though they’re gone.
Now, sitting beside my brother
With our stories.
He’s the only one who can verify their truth
Our stories
Our family’s stories
Sometimes quiet fills the truck cab
Dust swirls
Silence
Reverence for our shared lives
My brother opens up while we ride around
Safe
With deep stories
His childhood disappointments
At our community church.
I never knew!
Why???
The familiar sights
Cholla cactus
Graceful with arms extended
Yucca
Sharp spikes pointing heavenly
Pinon pine trees
Cedar trees
The smell I love!
Oak brush, orange at this time of the year
Dead trees ravaged by drought and bugs
A windy trail, bumpy with rocks
Reminds me of a Canyon Lullaby!
We try to make daily trips to the ranch,
But our busy schedule doesn’t allow.
Each trip feeds my soul, my spirit, my heart!
The train whistles in the background
Of my life here
Several times a day
Welcomed and comforting!
This house I inherited overflows
With Mom and Dad
I just used Mom’s pressure cooker
To cook spaghetti noodles
She called it her “Poor Man Microwave.”
Dad’s pot on the stove
To add some humidity to this dry climate.
Here my life is
Ranch business,
English, English, English!
No one knocks on my door anymore
My brother only
I visited my 96-year-old friend
But she’s failing!
That’s the here, but underneath
The “there” beckons!
Life there!
Our new life in Panama
Green jungle surrounds us
New friends live near us
They knock on my door.
Beautiful clear mornings as we look towards
Vulcan Barú
Rainy afternoons during the rainy season now.
Our life carved out
Two markets for fun and people
A knitting group
My recovery group
Basketball games, following one of our landlords
A more relaxed life
Less stress
US politics not the focus
No dishwasher in our rental house
Gives me time looking out the window
At the green
The colorful flowers
The hummingbird buzzing the lavender flowers
Being present
A gift!
Here my life is
My book business
Spanish, English, Spanish
Which I love!
I never planned to move
To Panama
I planned to live and die in Tijeras
And visit Branson
My here and there
Used to be Tijeras, then Branson
But we stood on our decision and morals
We said no to the insanity
We took action,
Well planned by Lin
And it happened
Here and there—juggling these two lives
When I’m here, I think of there.
When I’m there, I yearn for here.
My Writing Group
I shared this on Monday with my Writing Group from New Mexico at a Zoom meeting. One person’s critiqued: “I loved the homeyness of it. Also, I can relate to the train because I had a train in my childhood. I also love the line – ‘The “here” now.’”
Another writer in the group shared he loved the visuals and it felt so many of the topics in it were universal.
Finally,
Juggling the here and there has become an art for me—I’ve done it my whole life. What are your thoughts about this poem? Any line resonate with you? Any topic remind you of something in your life? I hope it did and please share it.
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I love your poem. It’s so beautiful and so expressive. Your new home sounds very delightful. I’m so happy you found it.
Thank you so much. It is beautiful here!
Lovely poem! The here and there both called me. I feel the nostalgia, the stories and the memories. That’s where I am now. I love the there, too – the new beginnings.
Yes, thank you for your sharing. Sometimes our hearts are torn.
Thank you so much! Yes, life offers new beginnings and relish the opportunity!